Changes

 

{Mr. Husband's boat at his old house}
*
I did a really big thing today.
Because my January visit to Ottawa
was so jam-packed-rushed-full-week
I never did make over to the
store that I needed to
go to for my Ottawa cell phone.
Turns out that it is way too complicated
to try to get my phone to switch to a prepaid
phone State side.
*
I still find it incredible how two neighbouring countries
cannot work with each other on things like
telephones and cell phones.
*
So I called and cancelled it.
My cell phone number that I have had since 2005.
It was the one I used professionally,
that I had on my business cards,
that my Ukrainian family would always call me on;
that my sister-friend would text me on,
the one my god daughter who left us all
used to use to text and call me.
*
I am homesick for Canada.
No one sees me as Canadian here,
or not many people anyway.
*
I am thankful for my new life,
my husband,
my new church who demonstrates
 their love for me so
clearly.
*
Being homesick and missing the country that I called home
for a 15 years of my life,
age 21-35,
does not negate that I am aware
of all the blessings in my life now.
*
Meanwhile,
did anyone notice that I am changing my blog layout?
And that I added lots of new blog links to my
blog list?
I may add more lists with time,
but I am glad for what I have accomplished on it.
*
God really,
I see, gave me a year to love and leave Ottawa
as I courted my Orthoman
who is now my beloved Mr. Husband.
*
Years ago,
when I left BC,
I took a month to stay with various friends
to say goodbye.
When I left it,
it took three days before I would talk much.
And I am a talker, I admit.
I was back in Canada within 6 months.
So this is officially the longest I have not lived in Canada since
I was newly (as in just days into) being 21.
Which at 36 is a while ago.
*
When I was at my last job,
that ended last July,
I went to two retirement parties for long time
library staff members at that library.
At one of the parties I got to see a lot of other
librarians who I knew from my time
working in various libraries.
Really,
I got to say goodbye to all the layers
of people and things in my life.
*
One of the two librarians who left,
in her goodbye speech said
she would have to reinvent herself
now that she will not have her job of over 35 years.
When I saw her next,
I could tell that the adjustment was harder
for her than she anticipated,
as it is for so many of us in huge life altering
changes.
*
But still,
in ways, I find that what she said
must be true.
*
For me it is with God as my guide and trust and hope.
But it remains that my life is very different now
and that in ways I am doing what
she talked about.
Reinventing myself, 
as it were.
*
I am a wife.
A homemaker.
I am still a librarian.
What I do with my librarian self remains to be seen.
I am learning to knit and love it.
I think it can really go somewhere for me
and I hope be of service to others.
I am learning to bake bread.
I am slowly changing my blog,
at least in lay out.
*
Once,
God-wiling,
that I am over this mono,
I hope to explore more of the small town I live in
and part of NYC.
I hope to do another knitting class or two.
I hope to make new breads.
I hope to have more dinner parties and
continue to build my friendships that
are forming here and
that have already shown to be good and beautiful.
At some point I hope to go back to Ottawa to visit
though it sounds like it will be after Great Lent.
I hope to serve in my home
and continue to bless my Mr. Husband
and make a home that is a haven,
a peaceful unity
that can be honouring to God.
*
I hope for many things,
but above all,
I hope for God's mercy.