So while in CA 2 weeks ago,
I went to see
St John, still called by many, Vladkya John.
My favourite stories of him come out of an out of print book,
esp the stories by the woman in France who knew him
and writes of how his prayers helped her after he left France
and after he departed to the Mansions of the Righteous.
So, there is a section towards the very end of CS Lewis' novel
till we have faces that talks about the main character saying
"I have no more questions, you are the answer"
which is close to how it was when I was with St John.
I was given this deep sense of peace, a quiet joy, as if I was in a
different space, so much so that the prayers I thought I would be praying
with a sense of anguish, I felt like I nearly forgot to pray at all,
as it was like I had no problems at all, no worries, just this sense of peace,
of joy, something beyond myself or even my experience at the time,
as in I have been struggling a lot with feelings of worry and
of a sense of weariness but there, I felt like it was all taken away,
as if I forgot the problems had ever been there...
so this was what God gave me, in the presence of this Saint
who loved Christ so much and was full of the Holy Spirit.
It was very special.
I know that I am weak and don't know how to keep this peace within
myself but I hope I will never forget what it was like
and what I was given that day.