I wish I could say I was somehow suprisingly perfect
or even that I could maintain a sense of peace
for a day.
I am working on seeking God's peace
but fail from the moment I open my eyes in the morning...
I looked at the wave of self-pity
and was sucked in for a bit today.
Thank God that He forgives
and that next week will at least be better
socially, which was one of the difficulties this week.
When I realize I have seen one person
who is an actual friend
the self-pity swamp wants to mire me in for good.
just because I was not able to see my friends much in person this week
does not mean I don't have them!
It was sunny today.
I took a walk
and rephotographed some sites
to capture them in the sun.
Do you see the sun on the street?
I am still looking into seeing if there is a French course
I can take;
most of them seem to be too late;
too late too late
which means more of trusting God for His timing
in my life.
I am thinking perhaps that I should try for a French Conversation class
as my spoken French is really poor at this point.
The other option is trying to see if I am ready to take a
French class for the government tests.
The school is run on a shoe string and was
not able to give me any advice on what class I should do.
This is what 'affordable options' often look like.
Well at least it may be an option!
I am listening to French on my computer meanwhile...
Madeleine L' Engle writes
in one of her journals
how lonely she was before she married;
I think life just has a lot of this.
Part of it is just not being spiritual strong enough
to live in faith in the reality of Christ
and that He can fill the loneliness that is aching for Him.
A picture of my favourite tree.
I tried to capture a bit of how tall it is
and the looking into the heavens while standing on the ground.
Crazy that I have been so high in the sky
as they say
when flying in a plane.
I applied for a job today
that I am unsure about but submitted an application.
Another to work on over the weekend.
It feels painfully slow
and I often feel that I am very inept at all this
Give us our daily bread.
How is it that I forget this prayer so soon?
I must say emotionally I am struggling a bit.
So glad that tomorrow
will be vespers and confession.
The battle in the mind
for letting the Holy Spirit inside
is the most worthy battle
but often a difficult one for us.
Let us not give up,
Let us cry for Christ to help us,
He promises to never leave us
and to intercede for us,
that He experienced every temptation and weakness...
As hard as Lent is,
yet I wish for it to come;
how much we need to fast
to try to give up our self will
to let God be in control
to learn to be humble.
Come Lord Jesus Come
and Save us.