Friday, January 14, 2011

Another week draws to a close - A Cold Sunny Friday

I wish I could say I was somehow suprisingly perfect
or even that I could maintain a sense of peace
for a day.
I am working on seeking God's peace
but fail from the moment I open my eyes in the morning...
I looked at the wave of self-pity
and was sucked in for a bit today.
Thank God that He forgives
and that next week will at least be better
socially, which was one of the difficulties this week.
When I realize I have seen one person
who is an actual friend
all week
the self-pity swamp wants to mire me in for good.
Silly me,
just because I was not able to see my friends much in person this week
does not mean I don't have them!
It was sunny today.
I took a walk
and rephotographed some sites
to capture them in the sun.

Do you see the sun on the street?


I am still looking into seeing if there is a French course

I can take;

most of them seem to be too late;

too late too late

which means more of trusting God for His timing

in my life.


I am thinking perhaps that I should try for a French Conversation class

as my spoken French is really poor at this point.


The other option is trying to see if I am ready to take a

French class for the government tests.

The school is run on a shoe string and was

not able to give me any advice on what class I should do.

This is what 'affordable options' often look like.

Well at least it may be an option!


I am listening to French on my computer meanwhile...

Madeleine L' Engle writes

in one of her journals

how lonely she was before she married;

I think life just has a lot of this.


Part of it is just not being spiritual strong enough

to live in faith in the reality of Christ

and that He can fill the loneliness that is aching for Him.

A picture of my favourite tree.

I tried to capture a bit of how tall it is

and the looking into the heavens while standing on the ground.


Crazy that I have been so high in the sky

as they say

when flying in a plane.


I applied for a job today

that I am unsure about but submitted an application.


Another to work on over the weekend.


It feels painfully slow

this waiting

and I often feel that I am very inept at all this

job seeking.

Give us our daily bread.
How is it that I forget this prayer so soon?
I must say emotionally I am struggling a bit.
So glad that tomorrow
God willing
will be vespers and confession.
The battle in the mind
for peace
for faith
for humility
for letting the Holy Spirit inside
is the most worthy battle
but often a difficult one for us.
Let us not give up,
Let us cry for Christ to help us,
He promises to never leave us
and to intercede for us,
that He experienced every temptation and weakness...
As hard as Lent is,
yet I wish for it to come;
how much we need to fast
to try to give up our self will
to let God be in control
to learn to be humble.
Come Lord Jesus Come
and Save us.


GretchenJoanna said...

Loneliness is everywhere, as you know. I think I have been more lonely since being married than before, and that is no reflection on my husband. It's just that we humans can't stop expecting other humans to meet our needs, and when I have another human so handy to expect things of,
1)I have more chances to be disappointed, and
2)I more easily forget God.

I wish I could give you a real hug, though!

elizabeth said...


alway good to hear how it is 'from the other side' though I do see it ...

I am re-reading Elizabeth Goudge's Scent of Water which helps ...

amy said...

I am thinking of you, Elizabeth. I hope your weekend brings brighter interior sunshine ... that through God's grace you'll be given a fresh outlook and positive thinking.

A hug & a prayer,