Saturday, October 31, 2009
Friday, October 30, 2009
Summer is such a funny season.
Summer often feels surprisingly, in my life,
like winter, as in a time where it seems that nothing is happening
instead of the huge blossoms summer brings.
Yet, I have to trust it is for a reason,
these times where everything either seems not to move forward
or to filled with loss.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Of course I am doing more than just apartment searching.
My parents had a wedding anniversary.
I mailed a gift a day late... a prodigal gift I guess...
in terms of lateness...
I read a well written mystery book,
not for the faint of heart or those who do not want to read a book that
has all of the messiness of life, misery and wrongful things.
It was well written though and set in New York.
I am a sucker for all things New York City and got a good sense of the city
as seen through the author,
I am thinking about a couple who are about to have
their first child.
What a mystery childbirth and life is.
To be at the very edge of this life change makes me breathless
thinking about it.
I am listening to Beethoven right now.
I forgot how much I love his work;
the quietness of parts
and louder sections are so expressive.
I need, at times, the more explosive music of Beethoven;
it helps me process things.
Bach's music too can help me inwardly progress through things.
A time for sound and a time for silence...
I am seeking to keep the basics:
morning prayers, a Saint's reading, the Scripture readings
from my Church Calendar.
I have looked at various apartments now.
Some good, some not so good, some down right bad.
I look at two more today,
possibly one tomorrow,
one on Saturday.
God will bring me to a good place,
just as he cares for the small birds,
the squirrels in the city...
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
It is beautiful where I live.
I am going to be looking at some places that are near by.
I am really tired still, from not knowing where I will live,
but I am trying to be thankful
and do what I can each day.
I am thankful that I can walk with my two feet
and wear my favourite Birkenstock Clogs.
For the first month or so after I was walking again,
after breaking my foot the summer before this past,
I could not wear my clogs.
So it is nice to have this back;
I really love wearing them and keep them in good shape.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
I will miss it but have to make it private starting now.
My love to all.
I will be making this unseen in a few hours and go from there.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Well. After all that excitement,
I realized that I must not take the apartment.
I felt really bummed.
But you know? I woke up this morning quite concerned
worried and conflicted...
Now I feel peaceful.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
I went to the Apartment Open House.
It was a beautiful crisp sunny day.
A two bedroom basement apartment.
It has low ceilings.
Not many cupboards (though the ones they do have are cute)
Two small closets.
Half size windows.
But the sun in the afternoon shone into the apartment.
There was light there.
And two rooms plus a long big room
and a kitchen and bathroom.
Price: just over half of what I would of been paying here.
Hello New Home to Cleo, Me and My furniture!
Hello place to be lighted with candles
Hello, new place I hope to pray in
put icons in
and seek God.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
This is a picture in the Church of St. George in Halifax
where I went a year ago to my good friend's
Christ is over all and I must remember this.
I have to trust God for a new home for me
Cleo and my belongings.
Today is quiet.
Cleaning, breakfast, blogging, praying.
Oh the relief -
Tomorrow I go to an open house
location not as trendy but doable.
I don't need trendy, but I do need good.
Saw some beautiful houses.
I wish I could live in one.
These flowers have a very present and waiting look to them.
Canadian Thanksgiving was this past Monday.
This is the Marble Cake I made,
to many people's delight.
With the homemade frosting.
Friday, October 16, 2009
I never thought it would be like this;
I have looked at apartments that are worse than I ever looked at before.
The only 1 bedroom I have found so far, for my reduced circumstances,
that would fit my furniture,
a good friend told me
never live there ever.
I was scared to realize I almost looked at apartments
in the most undesirable
unsafe part of downtown.
I live in the best part of town right now;
it is strange to realize I don't even want to spend money to live in areas
downtown, that I never would of considered before.
What should I do with my furniture?
it may be that I cannot find an apartment that I can afford
that will fit what I currently own.
Do I sell? Try to store at some one's house?
I need wisdom...
Thursday, October 15, 2009
I am relieved to know that I did not get
the part time job.
If I am ever to learn French,
I feel I have to do it full time.
Part-time work and part-time French I would find difficult.
I must say I am feeling exhausted.
Have been here when my current apartment was being shown;
really strange to have my home looked at
and to know I am going to an apartment
that may be similar but smaller and in a different area.
I am looking at more apartments on Friday and Monday.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
First step: remember God.
Second step: seek to be quiet within one's soul
and seek to nourish inward thanksgiving
in the midst of life's trials.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
2. Remember that Saints surround us, especially
Christ's Holy Mother who loves us.
Next - do whatever has to be done today.
I polished shoes today - cleaned, polished and waterproofed.
My brown Birkenstock shoes are full of wrinkles but well cared for.
I have had them since 1994 and for most of these years,
have worn them.
French is hard and I struggle to stay working at it.
I have a really big French day and then it wanes until I realized how lost I am in class
and resolve to try again.
My teacher reminded me that it is hard and that I,
unlike everyone else in my small class,
have the least experience in languages;
that I am starting from scratch.