Now To Wait

I handed in my application.

I will not know if I was the first applicant qualifying for the apartment

or not.

I felt peaceful.

But I am very tired.

I have been struggling with insomnia again these days.

It is unsettling to know one has to move in a month's time

and not know where they are moving to.

My current apartment is already rented.

I pray for the Lord to have mercy.

Quiet Within

I saw an apartment.

When I first saw it, I felt so disoriented, I was stalling for time

for a good friend, who is like deep family here,

to come see it with me.

It is a good apartment.

I could make it home. It is not downtown,

but is more affordable while still being really good.

I realize that I want this apartment

and that it is a much better choice than the last place

I thought I wanted.

Now I am asking God that this new apartment

will be my next home.

If it will be so,

I will write more about it.

I feel at peace, which I am slowly learning,

is a good indication when deciding what to do.

Please pray for God's mercy for me in this.

I would like to have the apartment and to know it is mine

before the week is over.

+++++

Update:

I called and am meeting the rental agent late this morning

to give her the rental application and deposit.

I still feel good about this.

Thank you for all prayers.

I hope to know soon....

Pray Not Panic

This is a picture in the Church of St. George in Halifax

where I went a year ago to my good friend's

wedding.

Christ is over all and I must remember this.

I have to trust God for a new home for me

Cleo and my belongings.

I called about a lovely looking place today,

not downtown,

but in reasonable bus-ride distance.

No Dice.

No Full Time Job, No Lease.

Yikes.

So: Pray, Not Panic.

God is bigger than all of this.

+++++

I was reminded again at Church how God often builds our faith

by coming through at the 11th hour.

Okay.

Well. Tomorrow I am going to an open house with a friend after church

to see another apartment building.

Pray, Not Panic.

The Lord knows...

Clarification

I am relieved to know that I did not get

the part time job.

If I am ever to learn French,

I feel I have to do it full time.

Part-time work and part-time French I would find difficult.

I must say I am feeling exhausted.

Have been here when my current apartment was being shown;

really strange to have my home looked at

and to know I am going to an apartment

that may be similar but smaller and in a different area.

I am looking at more apartments on Friday and Monday.

But it seems that I am learning a very important lesson:

we cannot know the outcome of our actions;

we can only do our best

with what we have now.

And I must seek to rejoice in God

in the midst of great uncertainty

and see that He alone is

my hope

my stability

my security

and

my joy.

One Step, Another Step, and One Step...

First step: remember God.

Second step: seek to be quiet within one's soul

and seek to nourish inward thanksgiving

in the midst of life's trials.

Third step: rejoice at all the good things in the present moment.

++++++++

The apartment I saw was Tres Horrible!

I am so thankful I had a dear friend with me when I saw it.

+++

I am working on learning the present tense "er" endings.

I am still getting etre and avoir confused.

Je suis and J'ai

I understand - Je comprend.

It is the other 5 I get confused.

Lord help me.

+++++++

My Dad has pneumonia -

thankfully caught in the first stage and he is on drugs and is resting.

Please pray for my Dad (would rather keep his name private,

God will know who "Elizabeth's Dad" is).

I am thankful for my Dad and love him very much;

he is a good Christian man and father.

+++

Since seeing the Tres Horrible Apartment,

I am of a mind to quickly trust God for future job or money

than saving a bit on rent.

Whew, was that apartment bad.

+++

I struggle to get everything I need to get done in a day;

there is a job add I need to apply to,

French to learn,

and apartment to find, boxes to procure, and the like.

++++

But God is good and will help me do what I need to do.

+++++++

I am volunteering at a Christian high school as a librarian

assisting the school librarian.

Tres Excited!

Hello Elizabeth the Librarian!!!

+++

I thank God for His goodness and pray that my Dad will

begin to feel better soon, Amen.

What needs to be done

1. Remember God

2. Remember that Saints surround us, especially

Christ's Holy Mother who loves us.

+++

Next - do whatever has to be done today.

I polished shoes today - cleaned, polished and waterproofed.

My brown Birkenstock shoes are full of wrinkles but well cared for.

I have had them since 1994 and for most of these years,

have worn them.

French is hard and I struggle to stay working at it.

I have a really big French day and then it wanes until I realized how lost I am in class

and resolve to try again.

My teacher reminded me that it is hard and that I,

unlike everyone else in my small class,

have the least experience in languages;

that I am starting from scratch.

I am waiting to hear if I get that part-time job.

Tomorrow I am going to see an apartment slightly

outside of the centre of downtown

that is the right price.

Please pray for me.

I thank God for His goodness.

Looking for a new apartment

I will give my two months notice next week.

I am taking to a woman today who

is involved in co-op housing.

Please pray for me.

I prayed briefly in church to St. Xenia yesterday

and feel encouraged.

I am praying that I can find a place for much cheaper that

is still downtown.

I really want to continue to be able to have people over for meals

as hospitality is something I hope to grow in.

Please pray for me and thank you!

I thank God for His goodness.

suivant - following

Suivant means following or the following.
I am following a partly unknown dream to what I hope is a better future.

The other half of this story is that it is a bit scary to commit
about half of one's life savings to learn a language
to try to stay in a city
that has become a home to me.

On one hand it so great to know what I am going to try to do.

Learn French.

However.

Today I am going to a Greek Monastery with my church.
And I am so relieved.
I cannot say enough about going to a good Orthodox monastery.

This past year has been very hard for me.

I was in a job that proved very difficult;

breaking my foot before that

was really hard;

not only did not I not get good care in the hospital

(not being told that you have two foot fractures
or how to care for an open wound

to name just two incidents)

but the internal wounds that come from a physical wound

take time to heal from.

Often what got me through was remembering the monastery I go to

and seeing pictures of other good Orthodox monasteries

that blog friends went to.

So today I am going to pray for a miracle:

that I can find a good apartment that I can afford

and find a way to better structure my life to learn French

(I am struggling with it already).

Ahhhh ...

I had a busy few days.

Minor emotional meltdowns

(sleep deprivation, gets me ever time).

I have been informed that I often have a lot of pathos.

Great word, pathos.

I am taking a quick break from making

French-word and phrases

flash-cards.

I was so busy, I did not practice from Thursday until after class today.

Minor panic about this.

Read part of a book today, that I had to give back to the library.

About work / life balance

and

busyness.

It is such a CURSE of today.

Importance = busyness.

It makes me sick.

Yet I have the sickness too.

Currently balancing:

*job searching

*French learning

*Church going

*apartment search soon to begin (I need to move December 1st, 2009)

It is good to check in here.

You all mean a great deal to me.