Times of Retreat

 

It was wonderful to be away for one
evening at a local Greek monastery.
To be able to light candles there
in prayer for others
and for one's own needs.
I am so thankful for this opportunity! 

Beauty, transitions and struggle

 

I love my ring.
I miss my Orthoman.
I will God willing see him soon.
We're having some challenges that we are
facing together;
it is wonderful that way, the together part.
*
I am still recovering from the very
sad news I heard
a few days ago
and my spiritual father confirmed
that it is something I will have to grieve.
*
I know we really are all longing
to be with Christ in Paradise,
where there is no more sorrow, grief or sighing
but life everlasting.
*
I am really looking forward to going
God willing to the monastery
late in the coming month.
*
It is really wonderful how animals
sense one when is sad.
Cleo was especially sweet today.
*
Vespers is so life-giving.
Christ is Risen and the world rejoices.

33

Turning 33.

A quiet but eventful day.

Matins.

Godmother.

Grandmother - coffee, breakfast and antiquing.

(Did not find anything, which means I get to spend

the money at the monastery store

I hope!)

Tomorrow I hope the monastery.

May the Lord have mercy on us all.

The difference

I was in a coffee shop and saw someone crying.

This always makes me wish to comfort the tearful one.

It also led me to crystallize the difference:

everyone in this life has struggles and grief, but Christians

have someone to cry to.

Picture from monastery a bit after Christmas.

My small icon of the Mother of God travels with me;

the holy oil is from Romania, as is the icon of Christ;

both were given to me as gifts from dear family and friends.

We are so blessed to have the prayers of our heavenly Mother.

O Bethany, Rejoice!

Fr. Stephen reposted on grief - worth reading.

When I experience the prayers of the Church,

is when I cannot imagine anyone wanting to be anywhere else.

++++++++

I found this song on YouTube -

Rejoice O Bethany!

This speaks of the grief of a sister for her brother Lazarus

and Christ calling him out of the tomb.

It is a Holy Week song and I remember this song coming alive to me

when I was working at my last job.

I was alone in my small library, shelving books, listening to it on

Ancient Faith Radio.

I remember feeling so full of joy...

++++++

Today was (old calendar) the Elevation of the Cross;

our priest reminded us that this Feast is directly linked to

Holy Week and that the core of our life needs to stay in Holy Week

that we must revolved around Christ's death and resurrection.

++++++

Oh that I can learn this.

+++++++++++

Meanwhile, I am really wanting it to be Christmas so I can

Lord Willing, go to the monastery again.

And then I want it to be Holy Week.

Of course the Church knows I need Lent first.

Lord have mercy on us all!

suivant - following

Suivant means following or the following.
I am following a partly unknown dream to what I hope is a better future.

The other half of this story is that it is a bit scary to commit
about half of one's life savings to learn a language
to try to stay in a city
that has become a home to me.

On one hand it so great to know what I am going to try to do.

Learn French.

However.

Today I am going to a Greek Monastery with my church.
And I am so relieved.
I cannot say enough about going to a good Orthodox monastery.

This past year has been very hard for me.

I was in a job that proved very difficult;

breaking my foot before that

was really hard;

not only did not I not get good care in the hospital

(not being told that you have two foot fractures
or how to care for an open wound

to name just two incidents)

but the internal wounds that come from a physical wound

take time to heal from.

Often what got me through was remembering the monastery I go to

and seeing pictures of other good Orthodox monasteries

that blog friends went to.

So today I am going to pray for a miracle:

that I can find a good apartment that I can afford

and find a way to better structure my life to learn French

(I am struggling with it already).

Christmas Reflections

I started my online course today! And in true student fashion, I now get to procrastinate. So far I have written a New Years letter (did not send one of family and friends in a few years) and am now here, writing this blog post.

I think the online course will be good though and I am going to work on it more tonight, to get a head start.

Meanwhile, here is a picture I took at the monastery:

I have a lot of memories from my time there over New Years.

I have to finish up some projects before I will write more on this.

Returning in the New Year

While I am away I will, Lord Willing...

*Celebrate Christ's Nativity
*Celebrate my Oma's 100th birthday
*Celebrate my sister's belated birthday
*Celebrate my birthday
*Celebrate New Years
*Stay at the monastery
*See my Godmother
*See family

For most of this time, I will not be near Internet.

I pray that everyone has a good Christmas, a Blessed New Year and all of God's goodness.


Thank you for all of my new and old blog friends for your care and love for me!


Christ is Born! Glorify Him!

Relief

I received confirmation that over the Christmas holidays I can return for a brief visit to the monastery. My second communion as an Orthodox Christian was there. I have stayed twice before.

I can't tell you how relieved I am that I will, Lord willing, be returning there for a short while.

I often get stuck in my own little world with its worries, joys, confusions and chaos. I hope to get beyond this and be able to rest and receive advice for those things I need to ask.

It is times like these that I feel most hopeful.

May the Lord continue to show His mercy to us.