this evening

It was a comfort and relief to take a walk to see Lady Liberty today.  It's a most consoling walk. 

I saw an unexpected small green plant in the middle of mess and cement....

Such a small lonely plant in the middle of a sidewalk. 

I got volume 3 of Emma M Lion today.

I made progress on some of my theological reading.  Some slogging but then surprising beauty. I took notes....

Tomorrow is 3 years and 40 days since my friend Peter died, 3 years of healing from my memory loss.  

I feel like I have processed my unusual loss, unusual because I can take in a place and a person who, for personal reasons, means a great deal to me but really very little to the other in comparison to how the person had helped me.  It's very strange to see, but I am glad I understand that aspect of myself better.  I am still sad but it is just part of life... And everyone has sadness and loss, it is a very real part of life.

I am greatful for my life.

May God have mercy on us.

this morning

I was blessed to wake up and have a text from a dear friend who felt I needed prayer especially when by a beautiful icon of St Luke the Surgeon.  

I know I am overtired and could easily get sick again.  

Asking prayers unworthy as I am.

Ascension Day and feeling adrift

The tulip suddenly turned from pink to purple. They are fading away slowly. 

I finished volume two of the unselected letters of Emma M. Lion.  Before I was done I already ordered volume 3. It comes tomorrow.  I'm finding them to be quite riveting and I can understand why people are waiting with such eagerness for volume 9.  

I had lunch with a godson.  I finally packed up my silver plate that I used for the dinner on Sunday. For one reason or another, it often takes me days to fully put everything back from an eight-person dinner.   It was such a lovely event.  I have such gracious friends. 

I've had a strange sort of loss that is strange. I said that adjective already...... I don't really have a better one at the moment! However it's a loss in terms of a person perhaps leaving a place that in my mind anchored me.  I feel strangely adrift.  

I don't know about others but I can really take a place into my inner world. I guess you would say and it becomes one of the places that gives me a sense of home within the world or a sense of geography that locates myself.  When something within that suddenly changes, it's very disorienting. 

Always in such cases and surely I should and always always come back to the mercy of God and to the stability that only God can give. 

May God have mercy on us.

Ascension (vespers)

Oh who shall sing the song 

that I have loved since the days of my youth--

the song of the Lord’s Ascension into heaven, 

of His love for us, 

of the vigil He keeps for our coming? 

~ St Silouan the Athonite 

my life in pictures plus some thoughts

Pictures from yesterday and this morning 🌸🥰

It's hard to find balance in life, is part of what I am seeing.  I need to figure out how to get exercise and do everything I need to do.  Plus rest when I need it.

So I finished Volume 1 of The Unselected Journals of Emma M Lion.  It's fabulous.   Volume 2 I have begun and find it so deliciously funny at times.  It's such a blessing to have books that give rest and enjoyment.

I am also back to reading more academic Orthodox theology. 🧐😳😂 And it's really good but also a workout intellectually speaking and creates lists upon lists of questions.

May God have mercy on us 🙏🕯️