Wednesday, May 25, 2022

May is flying by

So I need a new phone. Will be working on this some what soon. I think that's why I can't load pictures to my blog via my phone.  I am typing this on my phone so no pictures but oh well.

I continued to be in a really busy season. 

I am thinking of Madeleine L'Engle a lot. Last year I read a newer collection of essays/interviews of/by her.  Seems that early in her writing career, she was pulled in so many directions (as a wife, Mom, writer) that she ended up getting sick and in hospital. 

Now that I am working on a big writing project I can see how hard this is to balance. I saw a meme like quote about if you are serious about writing you must devote 1 or 2 hours a day to it. 

This is how I reacted to such an idea:


Seriously. I don't have usually the ability to set aside time. I grab it as I can.  

Sometimes I work on my writing for much of the day. That's rare but occurs sometimes. 

There is not a day that I am not working on it. 

My reading for it is incredibly varied even though I have 2 books I especially want to read. Or finish.

Well. I don't have much more to say now. 

May God have mercy on us and save us.

Wednesday, May 18, 2022

I am getting better at grief work

There is a lot of loss right now in my life on various fronts, between my foster-nephew, the w-a-r and other things.  I am learning to face it, deal with it (accept it, not get stuck in it, have really good boundries about it). 

It's cool that I see that at least I am understanding something a bit better!

I read 15 pages of my big book yesterday.  Felt great.  Not even a chance to get 1 page in today but life is just really busy right now. 

I wrote the above on Tuesday!

Today is Wednesday!

Things continue to be quite busy.  I read about 1.5 pages of my book today, yesterday nothing.  But I am writing some for the writing project that the book I am reading is for.  

Tomorrow I am in NYC again! And this morning I was at liturgy. So beautiful. 

I am nearing the end of a smaller book, Orthodox, super vintage (1958 is early for Orthodox books in English!) that is for my writing project and boy oh boy, it's a treasure of a book.  

Well, I need to get ready for tomorrow and to bed.  So not saying more now.  But God is good to us, even in difficult times... 

Sunday, May 15, 2022

Well That's Better At Least


We went away just for Sat-Sunday.  I got some great yogurt and jam last night!  

Worshipped with a long time NJ-life (as in my life since I moved here) friend this morning and visit with her family afterwards.  

I just feel like my mind, at least for a moment, is a little more clear.  I read a lot about a holy Greek monk who was newly sainted this past year.  

I have two goals for my writing project this summer (finish reading 2 big books).  Narrowing it down (actually it's still a lot) has helped my stress levels as my writing project has so many facets that just doing 2 over the summer is more than enough.  And it's needed work to see what I am actually doing as they are the most key books I have to finish for the reasearch part.  (I have lots more research to do but these books are more 'primary' and the rest is more 'secondary' research). 

Anyway.  Life is still quite busy but even having a moment when I feel my head clear, even if only for a snatch of time, is a blessing.

I know some people have had a hard time commenting.  Sorry I have not been able to look into that yet.  It's been busy and I have not even unpacked from being away overnight...

May God have mercy on us all!

Saturday, May 14, 2022

Here I am again


I booked a plane ticket for mid-summer for me to be at my sister's foster son's birthday party.  He will be 3.  And so far it seems that his bioDad, in the end, will have him (as in take him from my sister and brother-in-law).  We were told originally, and until last year, that he was going to be in our forever family.  I am 46 next birthday and have no children, which was one of my biggest dreams of my life that did not come true.  So you can understand that this is very hard for me personally.  Losing my foster nephew who I held as a baby thinking, as we all did, that he was going to be adopted by my sister (like his half sister was the summer before he was born) is incredibly painful. 

I can't go into more details than this other than to say that the foster care system failed numerous times in the management of this case and the failures themselves are awful for everyone (including the biodad).

I can only ask your prayers as we have no choice in traveling this unexpected path of grief.  

Monday, May 09, 2022

16 Pairs of Socks

I got behind on laundry (and my Husband inadvertnaly hid my dirty socks, long but simple story) and finally I will have socks clean again. 

I am so tired it's ridiculous.

Monday is supposed to be my rest day.  But I can't function in a messy house.  And I needed socks.  

I did talk with a friend, my dear dear friend in Romania.  That alone is a profound blessing. 

I am hoping go to away this weekend.  So this week is going to involve a lot of rest just so I can do this. It's one of those if I don't grab the opportunity, it will be a long time before it comes again. 

I bought a cute skirt at the VNA. With these (last picture) shiny flowers.  8 fell off when I dried it (we dry all linens that we get used to be sure they are 'bug free' before we even wash them).  

I would love to sew them back on (there is lots on this skirt) but realistically I won't have the time. 

The top teapot picture is slightly blurry.  It's a really cute one, vintage Japan teapot, most likely from the 1950s.  I got it for 10$ at the VNA rummage sale.  I love it. 

I am sleeping better but once I have a super bad night of sleep it takes days for me to recover.

May God have mercy on us all. 

Sunday, May 08, 2022

Beauty for today


Isn't this plate/saucer and teacup darling? in MINT condition! Got on Friday at the VNA rummage sale.  Thursday night I had terrible insomina again so taking it much easier this coming week. 

Sending my love to all those grieving today on what for others is a happy Mother's day.

God is with us and He loves us. 

Thursday, May 05, 2022

I can only say this once

My phone won't let me download pictures right now 😳🙄🤦‍♀️

I know that I am not here much. My writing project is taking over my brain not to mention my time. 

I am trying to post nearly daily here

So you can have a snippet into my life. 

I am doing well. I have a crazy full schedule from here through mid-July. That's right I really did just say mid-July. 

I am not sleeping through the night again so am extra exhausted. 

The w-a-r continues to break my heart. 

My writing project challenges me in mindblowing ways wonderful intense and sometimes difficult. 

I was in NYC yesterday it was GLORIOUS. and I bought a new pink cream lip stain and it was just the frivolous fun I needed. 

Seriously life is beautiful hard and a wild ride. I am so thankful for my one beautiful life.

Do keep tabs on me via Instagram. You can go to the website without having an account. You are welcome there. 

Sorry I don't have the strength for daily blogging.  

Pray for me if you would. If my writing project works I hope to publish (seriously in about 10 years it's an ambitious project).

You all are a gift to me. ❤🙏🕯🌷🌸


Dear hearts never despair 
God is with us.