We got back just before Midnight last night
from being in Ohio visiting my Husband's family
(siblings + spouses + 16 nieces and nephews)
It was good, busy, tiring.
We took it easy today and went to vespers tonight and then
watched the Walton's and ate vegan yummy junk food. :)
I've done a lot of reflecting on life stages in the last years and
even 10 years ago felt that a lot of life is a journey of forgiveness.
And acceptance of other people's limitations.
I am really deeply blessed to have great parents and grandparents.
But the only perfect person is Christ (and then His Mother if you look into it)
and each person on earth is made different, has a different set of
strengths and weaknesses + ways they are limited, to say it simply.
I have had to accept my own limitations, as I know them, as well.
Like what I can and can't carry.
What I can do for others and what I can't.
How every person and every family is on their own journey
and you can love and support them but you can NOT walk their
path for them or 'fix' the situation they find themselves in.
And sometimes all you can do is pray.
I have had situations where I can't help at all other than prayer.
Either I was drowning in my own situation or their own situation
was beyond my pay grade, as they say.
I feel like this year had a lot of good for myself, personally.
Joining the subscription library, going to the AF writing conference,
working on either a daily walk or daily (in summer) swim or walk,
I got my Christmas baking done, for the most part.
I read a lot of books. We had the wonderful trip to Romania and Serbia.
I have some new makeup, clothes and pretty hat.
I had the eye tests and worries but am stable for now.
We did a lot of re-grouping from our 2 years of
personal hard that got better nearly a year ago now.
We will continue to work on re-grouping, I am sure, the rest of our lives, really.
I am hoping to finish some essays in the new year.
My Husband has a fairly big birthday this year and I am thinking about that.
I hope to keep active and build on this past year.
I am trying to figure out what and who I am as a writer;
I am drawn to cookbooks and food memoirs in a huge way.
I started my own food blog on this vein and have a litter of essays
half written... August with Cleo the Cutest Cat of all of Canada
declining and dying and then the trip planning and going and then
Thanksgiving, St Nicholas day (1 and 2), first Christmas and now gearing up for
second Christmas, I have not been able to get back to essay writing.
And I watched a lot of Perry Mason because of my loss of my Cleo Cat.
I still think I see her sometimes. I miss her and love her.
I want to figure out how to nourish my spiritual life while thinking about
a new chocolate chip cookie recipe that I am creating.
I think this pretty much sums up that particular struggle of mine:
I dreamed of being an Orthodox Kathleen Norris
but my drive and desire is focused pretty deeply on hospitality, with
various dinners, lunches, teas and the like.
For years I have thought about the fact that a lot of people are not ready for
a deep sea-change in their spiritual life and that all I can do,
since I can't feed them spiritually, is feed them physically and hope that
the cup of hot soup will provide some amount of comfort, sustenance and even hope
for more in the future, even inward growth towards Christ.
And I love feeding people. I love cooking and baking. I love the art of setting up
a table for something special. I love making everyday a celebration and the
fasts and feasts are a big part of this.
The day after my birthday went went to the Ohio Bookstore and DV these
books (plus more!) are being shipped to us next week...
As you can see, cookbooks are one of my primary interests...
Seriously excited to read these and I hope to try more
recipes in the new year.
Well, that new year 2020 is almost here!
No matter what life has brought you,
may Christ be your support, your refuge, your light
for your life's path and struggles.
May God bless and help us all!