Wednesday, November 29, 2023

Who actually knows


Years ago I had a teacher in school who had a very unusual Dad.  He totally did not see how unusual and very possibly this man is now with the Lord, since I knew this teacher in the first half of the 1990s.  Here is why: this teacher's Dad had a very tender heart and could not watch the news without crying.  Because he felt the hurt of others so deeply.  
So yesterday I ran into a young man, probably in his 20s who was out in the cold asking for money.  In NYC you see this a lot esp. when it's cold and it was cold yesterday. 

You know what this young man, who said his name was Kale, said to me:  He can't read the news without crying immediately.  And that God is truely all he has and that God is everything.  I said I understood: God is our only source of love and hope. 

Pray for such souls that the world passes by when they are out in the cold asking for money so they can have food.  Who actually live dependent on God and cry when they read the news.  Kale said he can only read the news maybe every 2 weeks because it is so painful for him.  

The rest of us, we can bearly touch what Kale knows in actual lived experience.

Monday, November 27, 2023

A Favourite Picture

I wish I had the original of this picture easily available!

Taken years ago at a Monastery. 

I am gaining ground from my struggles. I was in NYC last week! Busy times! I hope to get a lot done this week including being in NYC.

May God save us 🙏 

Thursday, November 23, 2023

Thanksgiving 2023

We had dear friends over. It was very blessed ❤️🙏

Ready for Thanksgiving

This Thanksgiving I am using my  Ukrainian Mother wedding gift 🎁 of the Ukrainian table cloth and napkins ❤️🕯🙏🦃 ❤️

We give thanks to Thee, O Christ our God, that Thou hast satisfied us with Thy earthly blessings; deprive us not also of Thy Heavenly Kingdom. As Thou didst come to Thy disciples and didst grant them peace; so come to us and save us, O Savior.

Monday, November 20, 2023

talked with my Ukrainian Mom

In Ottawa. It was so helpful. Now I am getting ready for Thanksgiving 🙏

Thursday, November 16, 2023

Healing takes time

So I realized recently that I'm basically struggling with trauma. And right now i'm in a kind of acute grieving stage. 

I am getting help for it and am researching to understand more slowly. 

I just didn't realize that the great illness I had was to the level of trauma. 

This is a lot of a message I sent to my friend today.... What you see below this that is.  I understand that I will not always be this hurt. But that sometimes you have to go through the hurt to heal.

And I know that God in His gentleness will help me heal.


These are just pictures showing you how I took care of myself today. I understand that I am in a profound grieving experience. Even writing this I started crying. Anyway it's totally o k it's gonna be o k cause God loves me. Anyway, I got some new journals. Because someday I want to use them for my writing research, for new research. They're my way of saying that my heart won't always be broken. That I still have worth. That God loves me. Also I made sure I had food today. I have leftovers for saturday from both meals. I bought myself one yummy treat of chocolate covered almonds. And I bought two bottles of kombucha. I got five thousand steps in. And my eyes are okay. I went to my retina specialist today.

Monday, November 13, 2023

the ups and the downs

We had friends over for lunch on Saturday! It was not hard because I bought lots of things basically already prepared!

So, I have had a bit of a difficult time regarding something. I can’t talk about it much. I can say I experienced an unexpected loss.  And I am grieving it.

I also had a "come to Jesus" moment which to me in part means: see things more clearly. 

So basically the medical trauma of January - April was so severe that I am still recovering from it. 

That + some poor sleep left me a bit emotionally wrecked.  

But I understand it better and am getting nutritional help. Psychological help I already have so that's taken care of.  I am just really depleted.  

But that's OK. I just have to take care of myself and get more rest. 

I am thankful for the good and that God's mercy is everlasting. 

Thursday, November 09, 2023

One day, two posts!

 Just saw this, what a movie trailer! 

So beautiful... 

Also: Exciting news for us Ortho-loving folks:
about Matuska Olga!!! 
May God have mercy on us.

A New Song (to me) and two other songs of my heart

I don't often listen to songs of this era,
I know, I am bit different that way.
For reasons of loss 
(read quickly: NOT in my friends or marriage)
that I have experienced in ways, again,
that THANK GOD are not with
any friends or my Husband,
this song resonated with me.
So, in typical random Elizabeth style,
I am sharing it here.
To me, this by BACH is similar
in terms of working through loss and grief
to get to the other side, 
like my beloved Madeleine L'Engle wrote
years ago... 

Lastly THIS beautiful Lord have mercy
in Greek has been on rotation this week...
I love Georgian music and people so much...

Author of this version of this beautiful prayer:
Author -  Catholicos-Patriarch of All Georgia, the Archbishop of Mtskheta-Tbilisi,  Metropolitan bishop of Abkhazia and Bichvinta, His Holiness and Beatitude  Ilia II (ShiolaShvili).
May God bless, save and protect us all!