Wednesday Morning

Cleo after my Christmas Eve dinner...

I am still happy about my winter / Christmas table cloth.

*

Concerned that I may be coming down with a cold.

If I do, it has been a long time coming.

*

Job applications to do.

*

Planning on an IKEA trip with a good friend;

getting better priced fish oil while I am in that area;

my nautropath told me the fish oil I must continue,

even if I have to scale back on other things

due to precarious finances.

*

Another day to seek to learn to be at peace

and trust God in all things.

Monday Cold and Windy

This past Saturday I did a huge

reorganization of my kitchen!

My cupboards were really in need of

some attention

and I was able to re-purpose another shelf (above)

for my baking goods.

I am loving the change,

especially that I can get to my newly

moved tea shelf

in short order.

Cleo continues to be beautiful

and in need of cuddles.

*

I am still struggling a lot with insomnia -

to make it worse,

I got a phone call in the middle of the night;

(no idea who it was, did not stay on phone

long enough to find out).

I am glad that God and His Angels are always with us.

It is cold here now in Ottawa!

I have these great 'cleat' things that go over the soles

of my boots so I can walk

undaunted by icy sidewalks.

I love winter!

*

I am working on various job related things

and applied to an Ottawa job today

(non-library but not a bad job).

*

I am so excited to be going home for Christmas!

God is so good to us.

Step 4 - rain on Wednesday

Rain and wind all day today.

Out this morning and got groceries;

so grateful that uncooked shrimp has been on sale this week

6.00 off per bag.

I view this as a mercy of God -

affordable and right when the fast begins.

After three weeks of drama and sickness,

my house is just beginning to be in order again -

laundry and dishes are getting done.

Am dreaming of my sunshine and beautiful tree!

Insomnia still, dizziness from it.

I've gone through this before

but it is never what I would call

'a good time.'

*

But God is with us in the days of wind and rain,

and He is,

as Jane Kenyon says,

mercy clothed in light.

Today it rained

The humidity is still making it warm

but it has cooled off a tiny bit.

*

I got the second job application done

and submitted.

**

Need to go grocery shopping for some good

energy-boosting food.

Please pass on all summer

it's-to-hot-to-cook

meal suggestions

as I am again at a loss

as to

what to make for dinner...

***

I admit that I don't even want to think about

working on French.

One thing at a time.

*

Am praying that the heat and humidity will lessen

as it drains energy quickly...

**

I am continuing to be encouraged, gently challenged

and comforted by the book on St. John of Shanghai and Sans Francisco

***

Wishing encouragement and strength for all of you

reading this post!

May God help us and have mercy on us!

All things considered

Just a short post.

It is hot here, humidex up to 111 degrees F;

currently it is 84 degrees with a humidex at 101 F

(29/38 C).

I am struggling with French.

Struggling.

I am writing another cover letter for a job

due Friday.

Another due in a week.

This time is really like a crucible,

as I no longer am in French classes

and am just holed up in my apartment with A/C

(thank God I have an air conditioner)

studying and job seeking.

I have been lucky each night this week to see a friend.

This time of intensity and heat will not last forever

and in ways is a treasured time;

at home with my Icons

and with the promise of God to never leave

or abandon us in our searching...

Prayers requested and offered;

including for one of my dear friends who is struggling greatly.

Looking towards the weekend

It looks like Ottawa may get the summer heat

many of my friends on the West Coast are wanting.

*

Personally I prefer the slightly cooler days

(shhh, don't tell!)

**

I have plans to visit some friends this weekend

and am looking forward to this!

My French presentation went well

and I was surprisingly happy and comfortable

doing it.

Of course I talked about my trip to Brampton

to see My Oma and when people here that she is

101 years old

it is a natural crowd and ice breaker.

I submitted the application

it was a loooooonnnngggg process

to rework my resume,

write two 200 word essays

and be sure to match everything to the posting.

Lots of writing and many edits;

but it is done now and printed at 8 pages

(for my records of course).

**

Still not sure what I am doing for July to learn French.

Am going to (yay, thank you God!) borrow the

Rosetta Stone CD's from a friend,

I could take a part time course for 6 weeks

(am only going to do one this time not two if I do it;

and I will NOT be taking the one that

is still teaching French in English!)

or I could take a (more costly) two week intensive course...

or perhaps something I do not know of yet.

***

I have come to the decision over the past while

that I will continue job searching

for full time and part-time work,

while continuing to work on French.

*

Next week will be a full one for me again,

as my interview for the library job

is this coming Thursday!

I have been practicing for this interview

but have a LOT more to do.

**

Thankfully both my French classes will be done before the interview...

***

Hoping this email finds all of my lovely readers doing well

and aware of God's mercy and care for them!

Every morning is new with God's mercy

I realize that I must not stay

in a struggling state.

*

One new thing I am trying is to learn new ways of planning

my days in order to get everything done.

**

We will see if it helps.

I have some further direction from one of my teachers

about the government tests.

I am now looking for a class that will be more conversation

and help me with the speaking and listening

part of French.

I am also going to explore

looking for part time work

but first have to work on preparing for my interview.

This is important as I need to do a good interview,

etc.

***

The weather has really fluctuated

and it is cold and cloudy here.

**

A good day to work on interview preparation

and seek quietness.

*

We need God's mercy at every minute.

Living in Ottawa and Looking for God's Help and Mercy

I can't tell you how MUCH I appreciate your

prayers, advice and support.

I do feel that I have to impress, however,

how much French language plays here.

I live in Ottawa.

Ottawa is the capital of Canada, an officially bilingual country.

The job is a government job.

It is what is termed bilingual-imperative.

This means that even if I ace the interview

and am screened in to the next round,

if I fail the French test

I WILL be out of the the running.

I know this sounds crazy

but it is really true.

And one of my librarian friends,

who I emailed right away this morning,

has confirmed it.

She had an interview with the same organization a few years ago

passed the interview

but not the French test.

And so she was out.

**

BUT we know that God is a God who works wonders.

The wonder here is that I would pass the French test and the interview!

I am confident that I am good for the job

and am already researching the library, the strategic plan, and the organization.

But I am going to have to work super hard on French.

This worries me.

I thank God for all of you and your prayers.

***

I feel I must say it again

THANK YOU SO MUCH

for your support love and prayers.

I appreciate the advice and welcome all of it.

I take your prayers on my behalf

and the support you give me

seriously

and thank God for it!

*

Glory to God in All things.

Lent can feel long sometimes

My fair city.

From last week's laundry.

Has the laundry machine company sent me my refund

for the machine not rinsing properly?

Not yet.

I did call however and they said they would.

Yeah. That was last week.

I am struggling a bit with French this week

and am feeling, well,

behind and unsettled.

Vespers tonight, so this is good.

Cleo thinks it is her job to wake me from naps,

gently walking on my bed

and lots of "meowing."

***

I feel liking I am slogging under very wet and heavy blankets.

Cleaning, eating right and prayer.

And doing my homework.

These I am seeing are my main things

I am trying to keep up with

right now.

Lord help us.

Returning but all is different...

As I said,

a few posts ago,

the move went as well as it could.

And God even provided two meals,

one Saturday and one Sunday.

And God provided beauty,

like the sun shining through these clouds,

as seen on my new small balcony.

And the second day I managed,

by the grace of God,

to put up my icon shelf,

and even got it level.

But it has been a hard week,

in ways.

I am about halfway unpacked.

A friend is coming tomorrow to help me,

my table needs to be put together,

boxes moved down from shelves in my closets

so I can put things in order.

Today I tried to put up a shelf in my bathroom,

but try as I may,

I did not get it level and am hoping that one of my friends

can be of help!

(It is a corner shelf and after getting the inside hidden brackets on the wall,

it was not fully even and so did not work).

A small thing,

but it feels big when one needs the shelf in order to empty a box onto!

Cleo is doing okay

considering the chaos

but we both wait for the day

when things are set up again.

+++

Meanwhile, I booked my plane ticket home for Christmas.

This is a good thing.

+++

I need to find a part time job for January

and feel a bit overwhelmed about this.

First, though, I need to finish unpacking.

Today was the first time I was able to make

any sort of meal in my kitchen area.

+++

Thanks be to God that my phone and internet

is up and running again.

+++

I know all will be put right in time,

I just need to wait...

Being Thankful In the Midst of It All

It is beautiful where I live.

I am going to be looking at some places that are near by.

I am really tired still, from not knowing where I will live,

but I am trying to be thankful

and do what I can each day.

I am thankful that I can walk with my two feet

and wear my favourite Birkenstock Clogs.

For the first month or so after I was walking again,

after breaking my foot the summer before this past,

I could not wear my clogs.

So it is nice to have this back;

I really love wearing them and keep them in good shape.

I am trying to remember that God

is taking care of me,

has been taking care of me all along,

and to not be afraid.

God is good to us.

All in time...

I am realizing it takes me time to know

what I want.

I am thinking that perhaps I want to live downtown

and not have to bus to Church, etc.

I need time and quietness and wisdom

to know what I need.

May the Lord have mercy on us all.

Now To Wait

I handed in my application.

I will not know if I was the first applicant qualifying for the apartment

or not.

I felt peaceful.

But I am very tired.

I have been struggling with insomnia again these days.

It is unsettling to know one has to move in a month's time

and not know where they are moving to.

My current apartment is already rented.

I pray for the Lord to have mercy.

Reinvention

I am thinking about the cycles of my life.

No pretending that this past year of my life was not difficult.

But it does not have to stay this way.

Am thinking of which ways are best for me

to become who I already am.

+++++

How to live in the world

humble and confident

at the same time.

+++

Seek first God's kingdom and the rest will be given unto you.

+++++++

There are no rules in this game of life in North America.

How to love in such a world.

How to communicate.

I am learning.

+++++

Learning to write book reviews here.

Hosting dinner parties.

Going to book club.

Reading. Cooking. Job Searching.

Taking pictures. Artistic leanings.

+++++++++

How to network in life.

++++

How to live as God desires me to live.

+++++

My life needs to be reinvented by God.

+++++

Behold, you are a new creation.

Step one, step two, step...

I am reading a book called

Can You Start Monday Morning? by Cheryl Cage.

She gives some good advice on job seeking.

Now I just need to follow it.

I have been working on these things.

Tomorrow I am having a small dinner party.

Today was better than yesterday

and I pray that with God's help

I can continue to go forward.

One Day at a Time

Today I...

-signed up for a French class; starts next week

- picked up food for a dinner party I am having this Thursday

-went to a lovely dinner party tonight

I tried to get more done on the job seeking front,

but it was slow going.

I hope to do more tomorrow.

It is a struggle to have the courage to do all I need to do.

Lord help us all.

Full

I have a networking event to go to

jobs to apply for

meetings and various appointments.

I find it all a bit overwhelming sometimes.

Looking for work is tiring.

May the Lord give us the strength we need for today.

Eventful Days

I am still not finishing

cover letters

as soon as I wish to.

I will be going to some job searching training next week.

And I have a networking event.

So today I got my hair cut.

About 4 inches, so it is shortish again,

an above the shoulder bob.

I cut my bangs again when I got home!

A woman years ago told me the secret

to cutting one's own bangs

is to hold them out,

away from your face.

I had lunch with a friend,

dinner alone at Denny's

(I was fading and needing food)

and had talked to another dear friend before leaving

in search of a cheaper hair cut and such things.

I got an organizer for the different paperwork

for the jobs I am applying to.

It's red with stripes; very cute and inexpensive.

Tomorrow is a baptism of a lovely baby boy in my parish

and an evening chrismation of a friend

in the evening.

(Two different churches, both Orthodox).

So tomorrow will be busy and full.

I will have to pace myself,

as emotionally

the ambiguity of my current situation

is difficult - it's like an exam that is always in the distance

that feels like no matter what I do,

it stays looming and I feel just as unprepared

as the days before.

But God is prepared.

He is taking care of us, of you and me.

Remember the Lilies...

Your Father knows.

Full Moon

I had fun taking pictures last night.

The world has so much beauty in it.

+++++++++++

Today is a beautiful summer day - not too hot, blue skies, a light breeze.

It is so hard to do job searching activities,

but I must do so.

What Next?

I am back from the meeting.

She was a lovely person.

Unfortunately, she was quick to tell me

that I had been misled.

Apparently I cannot keep unemployment and learn French

(I was willing to pay for the courses)

even though the job postings for Ottawa

are 95% bilingual

(I saw another posting today, starting with,

if you are fully bilingual...).

So it looks like I cannot do the full time French classes that I wanted.

I am disappointed.

I may be able to do part time courses.

One day at a time.

Do not worry, your Father knows.

God is so good to us.

I must allow what God brings to me be for my salvation.

Lord have mercy on us - Amen.