First Wednesday of Great Lent, 2017

I had a quiet day;

a long talk with my sister-friend, so nice, it has been months.

I was really worn out today and took it easy.

I watched a cheesy Christian film,

knitted wash clothes.

Read a bit more of Laurus. 

{so ends my #lentenkal + yarn along section of this post!}

Mr. Husband took me out for Lenten Middle Eastern food,

I had lentil soup and bread.

We also ordered some for tomorrow.

I do hope to make a soup soon, but at the same time, realized

I needed some re-coop time, and Friday is going to be a busy day....

A trip to continue working on Patrick stuff, and I hope

to go to presanctified liturgy back at home, 

afterwards... if the weather holds and our schedule can happen

as we are thinking. 

And then we went to the 3rd section of the 

Canon of St. Andrew of Crete....

Below are some sections of it that really struck me tonight,

I how repentance and seeing oneself to be a sinner in great need of repentance,

that this is always in conjunction with trusting in God's mercy

and not despairing. 

My Ottawa spiritual father once told me that I needed to keep at an

exact 50/50 balance the fact that

I am a sinner and that God loves me.

I find that the canon has the same balance,

and that it is a very deep text, 

as in we can think we are a sinner worthy of hell

but at the same moment, we do not despair of God's mercy.

And that was Wednesday of the first week of Lent.

***

I do hope to get a more active routine for Lent yet,

but today I just had to do a lot of resting... 

I am weak and the culmination of the stresses of the past 2 months

got to me a bit again and I had to take a breather so that I can resume

life... thank God for His mercy and that I could be at church tonight.

***

I am seeing such mercy in God's care and in that I rest.

Memory Eternal ~ Christ is in our midst ~ Books, blessing and prayers for the departed

Years ago my spiritual father
and I were talking in our church hall,
near to our church library
and I asked what book I should read;
I remember my spiritual father getting me a book
Christ is in our midst;
I blogged about it, with the cover of the book,
years ago.
*
He gave it to me to read with a sense of
love and that he was giving me a book
that was specifically for me
and that would be a great discovery.
And so it was ~ this book is the first place
I read and was captured by the Orthodox
understanding of humility.
It is real treasure of a book.
*
I still love this book and I gave a copy
of it to Mr. Husband when he was still my
newly loved Orthoman.
*
The copy I read was donated by Novice K. of our parish.
*
Novice K. was,
by the time I came,
an older man, large boned, needing a walker to walk.
He had a very deep voice, white hair
and pale blue eyes.
He was sick a lot in later years,
even being in a coma for a long while,
from which he recovered.
*
This afternoon I got an email from a good friend
from my Ottawa Parish that
Novice K,
who my friend visited faithfully at the nursing home,
had passed away.
*
I remember talking in person with my friend
last time I was there that Novice K. was declining.
*
Grief and loss ~ always different and always the same.
The shock, the sudden tears,
the awareness of Mr. Husband's love
as I emailed him the news.
We had just been talking about Novice K. the other day;
it was his book on St. Luke that my friend who visited
Novice K. had borrowed and then later lent to me to read
some years ago.
*
As I have been re-reading the book,
in it's second edition,
I have been telling Mr. Husband about it and Novice K.
And about the first time I read it,
when I newly in a job that I lost,
the first one I lost that I loved and so many people
in my blog community rallied around me...
so it was quite a shock to learn of Novice K. passing
after just talking about him to Mr. Husband.


I immediately took one of my
special monastery candles,
a thicker one,
that I knew would burn for some time
for Novice K.

I emailed people, prayed and
thought of the newly departed Novice K.

 

I had not personally seen Novice K. in quite a while,
though I remember the years past when he
was able to come.
How slow he would walk,
how he had to depend on others for everything,
how he always sat at the same table at coffee hour
and I would say hi to him there.
The book that he donated changed the way
I saw life and gave me my first glimpses of what
having a spiritual life means.
The book on St. Luke that I read that was his
was a great blessing to me in a time of great trial.
And so Novice K. really had a deep impact on my life
though he never knew it.
*
It is the first funeral that I will not be able to go to
in my Ottawa-home parish.
That is hard.
But I remember how when my Oma died and
how Mr. Husband and I prayed for her.
Knowing that I have Mr. Husband to pray
 with for Novice K. is a great comfort.
*
In the end the title of the first book I read that
Novice K. donated is the greatest comfort of all:
Christ is in our midst. 
*
Memory Eternal!
Memory Eternal!
Memory Eternal!

Lent can feel long sometimes

My fair city.

From last week's laundry.

Has the laundry machine company sent me my refund

for the machine not rinsing properly?

Not yet.

I did call however and they said they would.

Yeah. That was last week.

I am struggling a bit with French this week

and am feeling, well,

behind and unsettled.

Vespers tonight, so this is good.

Cleo thinks it is her job to wake me from naps,

gently walking on my bed

and lots of "meowing."

***

I feel liking I am slogging under very wet and heavy blankets.

Cleaning, eating right and prayer.

And doing my homework.

These I am seeing are my main things

I am trying to keep up with

right now.

Lord help us.

Birds, Cleo and Daily Life

The birds were back today!

Just two this time...

Cleo turns into this little huntress!

It is so funny and a bit surprising to hear her nearly

growl at the birds!

I am looking forward to Lent.

Am praying that this Lent can be a source of healing

for all of us!

I will be blogging during Lent

and keeping up with my fellow Orthodox bloggers

who are still blogging.

But my other fun blogs,

due to French class demands

and scaling back for Lent

I have already been hitting 'read all'

to get rid of all the other blog posts that are in my

Google Reader.

***

French quiz this Tuesday.

Slight bump today RE: tenant.

Have been a bit anxious.

But that is what Lent is about.

Healing from those things,

like anxiety

that seek to entangle.

May God help us all.

Making your cake and eating it too

Mat. Emily asked about my cake recipe.

Oh you know,

Betty Crocker in a box!

See below, and notice the French on it...

Canadian Cake! (grin).

However,

when I make a cake from a box

I do things a bit differently.

Add each ingredient separately and mix each time.

When the cake is for a super special occasion,

such as a House Blessing,

I put a tiny bit of Holy Water as well.

Uses of Holy Water are varied and I know that I am not

the first woman to ask God to bless one's cake

and put a little bit of Holy Water

in it.

The frosting however was homemade -

see my post from last year for this recipe,

given to me from a very good friend.

***

I do make cakes from scratch as well but to save time

I find stocking up on cake mixes when on sale

really convenient for fast-free times.

***

Well,

I am slowly working on French.

THANK YOU ALL for your comments, prayers and support!

It means so much to me.

***

This week, as Orthodox Christians know,

is what we call Butterweek.

A full fast for Lent is to be a vegan.

God in His mercy has the church gently prepare us for the fast

by first having a fast free week (where all meat and dairy are allowed)

then a normal fast week (fasting Wednesday and Friday)

and then Butterweek,

where we give up meat

but have dairy all week

(or at least in the Slavic tradition all week)

and then it is the full fast.

***

Of course people fast according to what they are capable of

in their own situation

and

according to what one's spiritual father has counseled us to do.

***

Mimi

left me a comment a few posts back

when I was feeling really stressed

reminding me of Lent

and that this may be the cause.

This really helped me

(thanks!)

and I thought I would mention it here

to remind us all of how

Lent can have unexpected difficulties

and to be aware of this.

I pray that God will help us all during this holy time!