Monday, the day before my Mother's birthday

This is the week of the next interview.

I have begun preparing.

I feel a bit nervous to say the least

and have so much I need to review

and prepare answer for.

My French classes are winding down.

Even though they were not perfect,

I will miss them.

It seems that in a lot of ways I am still where I was

a year ago;

tomorrow is my Mother's birthday...

*

I struggle with the unknown

with transitions

with being patient

with having faith.

**

Lord help me!

***

Yet life goes on.

Saw the husband of the neighbour who has cancer.

She is doing okay

but he said he thought he almost lost her

a while back,

when she was so sick from chemo.

Lord help us all,

there is so much to bear at times,

so much.

***

Today was a beautiful sun-filled day.

The green on the trees is so comforting

as I walk underneath their canopies

even here in the city.

Strawberries are in season

and

on sale.

I told my Mom today on the phone

that today is the first day I remember

buying strawberries

for myself to eat.

What took me so long?!

*

In ways it rather breaks my heart to be preparing

for a job interview

that I can not yet pass the French test for.

**

I took a practice French test this weekend.

It was hard.

I didn't even finish it.

10 questions on the subjunctif

which I have not learned yet

at all.

***

But now I know how it is

and what I need to learn

and all is not lost

and I must not give up

or give in

to weariness.

***

I must cry out to God

save me

I looked at the waves

I am drowning

like Peter

Save me, O Lord,

in Your great mercy and compassion,

Reach down and pull me out of the waters,

out of the fiery pit.

Bring me into Paradise

with trees of green, with Peacocks

and a riot of vibrant coulors,

with birds praising in the dawn.

A Friday in June

Cleo wanted to be included in another blog post.

So here she is ... will have to take new pictures soon

I am applying for more jobs.

Not sure what doors will open,

but I am feeling a bit better about it all at the moment.

I savour these moments.

I got a new (for 69 cents at the dollar store)

calendar where I am mapping out

what I need to do each day.

*

I am finding that this is helpful

so I know what needs to be done

and by what time.

**

Of course now I need to get the work done

but I am feeling a bit more at peace

and ready to do what needs to be done

today.

***

Also I am doing a little bit of planning

in the morning and evening for the day

and am excited to see how

this may help me

arrange my days

and assist with decreasing my sense of stress

and / or anxiety.

*

I am also finishing up the final details for the

BA in French as a Second Language.

**

Now I need to seek God's Kingdom and righteousness

and thus to maintain peace.

This of course is the most challenging part!

***

Wishing everyone a joy-filled weekend!

Back in the saddle again...

I am back in French language school again.

My cold is almost completely gone...

In class, I felt overwhelmed by all I feel I did not fully learn

in the past 6 weeks

and now we begin again with more learning;

thankfully we are doing a bit of review at the beginning

but still

there is so much to learn.

I need God's mercy and help.

***

It seems that when I begin a new class,

even though things are no longer new

it still consumes a lot of my time;

my blogging or comments maybe

sparse for a while

but I am still reading...

***

I find the French learning

a challenge but also not having a job;

I still feel like my life was derailed this past year

with all that went on;

it is hard to have the patience to see things

through...

It sure is lent!

***

May God help us and protect us.

Other Things

Of course I am doing more than just apartment searching.

My parents had a wedding anniversary.

I mailed a gift a day late... a prodigal gift I guess...

in terms of lateness...

I read a well written mystery book,

not for the faint of heart or those who do not want to read a book that

has all of the messiness of life, misery and wrongful things.

It was well written though and set in New York.

I am a sucker for all things New York City and got a good sense of the city

as seen through the author,

Irene Marcuse

I am thinking about a couple who are about to have

their first child.

What a mystery childbirth and life is.

To be at the very edge of this life change makes me breathless

thinking about it.

I love so many people here.

Life is messy and full of complications.

I struggle at times to not feel alone;

looking for a place to live is so strange;

reading Irene's book during this time was quite something.

She is very aware of apartment dwelling New York

and the life of those in a city.

I never knew I would live in a city,

but here I am...