Thursday: Sunshine but Still Fighting with January Grey

 

Today was a bit of a mix of things.

The sun was shining.

One of my glass coasters broke. 2nd one. 

Ordering some plastic ones soon for places they are 

causing problems.

I felt some heaviness, some inward turmoil.

Thinking about things, praying, trying to sort out what 

Christian growth means in my life; as in what I see myself in need

of changing but only God is going to be able to do it,

with my cooperation of course, as God is a gentleman in that

God does not force but waits for us. 

***

I learned something sad, one of the many pandemic related things.

A friend's extended family had a death because of

the dread virus that left a fairly young child orphaned;

thankfully the extended family is adopting this child.

How hard life can be, how very hard.

***

I walked again today, over 5K steps, briskly. 40 heart points according to 

my phone but who knows what is true other than that

the walking does me good emotionally and physically.

It's one of the only ways I can fight it seems,

the feeling of grey or of sadness or of the struggle we have

internally at times. 

***

It was a bit of a rushed day in ways,

I was just finishing up breakfast (and last night's) 

dishes when I realized I needed to make lunch already;

my Husband needed lunch at 11 AM today because of meetings he had

to go to, including over the lunch time. 

Believe it or not, we had 2 cans of canned chicken that my Husband bought

months ago and well, I got one of those out for Mr Husband 

who had it on toasted English Muffins while I had Peanut butter and banana 

for my early lunch.  Not the most photo-worthy and I was quite rushed.

The chicken was pinkish, in soft crumbly looking chunks, like

cheese you see sometimes, in odd misshapen small lumps.

Anyway, he ate it and the salad leftover from yesterday

and I felt relief just at having created the lunch.

***

Tonight I made more potatoes (too much oil this time) and I baked a

sausage for my Husband; the smell about did me in; I never

liked the smell of sausage.  

I had the boiled egg I did not eat earlier and enjoyed potatoes, and such.

***

I wrote most of a letter, had a phone meeting,

and tomorrow have another, with a dear friend.

***

I am pretty much facing up to the fact that with this pandemic,

and people moving, 

I have very few friends left locally.

***

So I am walking a lot for that reason too.

***

But I am writing letters, reading, hoping to get back to essay edits soon,

of my own writing project.

***

And that's really it.

***

I pray that you are well.

That you had a moment of peace,

a moment that felt 'right', or of some sort of comfort that is 

really that and not otherwise.

***

May God have mercy on us and save us!