Ok, I will get the sad about of the way first.
Basically I found out that a couple I know in Ottawa (Ontario Canada) have
been recently side-swiped with a diagnosis of ALS for the Husband
and he is already declining quickly;
they are a dear family, husband and wife a bit older than me but not
much from what I know; years ago when I was in financial trouble,
they took me out to eat. I've also stayed at their old house
and remember sitting on the back steps with my friend's Husband,
while their then young
blond haired daughter played and how quickly he was touch
by the beauty of his daughter, and
glorying in the small white flowers
and green grass.
Hearing of his shocking disease (incurable at that) brought back
so many memories for me of Ottawa;
my friend (the wife of the now ailing Husband) and I went
twice to the Brownsburg QC Monastery and
stayed over night at least once of the times.
I remember the sound of their voices, the Husband's
look of surprise, his laugh;
the wife's hair, dark blond, her love of blue and good wood.
It's funny how I have so many memories of my life in Ottawa
that no one here knows of but there it is, inside of me.
It was so good to be in church today;
just standing there, being happy to be with people, in church.
There will, God willing, be more church this week and I am
so glad for that.
I loved the last of the pelmeni that my Husband and I shared; then I made
myself eggs while my Husband (who is basically allergic to eggs
as in they make him shutter with the very thought!) made
himself a baked potato and ate it with the rest of the sour cream in
the small bowl I had put it in... baked potato and sour cream - delicious!
My Husband let me eat the last of the spreadable cheese.
True love, I tell you, right there.
Well, it's late.
I've been tripping up against the pandemic, loneliness and a bit
of dread at times. But I am managing.
IG helps; books; my love of food;
and of course CHURCH.
The sense that if no one else would receive me,
Christ will. That's HUGE.
Sometimes I wish I owned a big house, had someone
to help with cleanup and that I could just set beautiful tables
(which comes easily to me) and cook and bake and just
feed lots of people.
So much that I told my Husband that I hope that Heaven
includes this as it's one of the biggest things I wish to do/
want to do in life.
I remember my priest in Ottawa talking about
his family back in Ukraine when it was very difficult
and food was scarce, and how people would come and ask
for some flour to make bread,
and no matter what, they would always give some of their
flour to them; I picture it in a big bag with a scoop
that they dip into and profoundly share
their (scarce, diminishing) flour.
Or the Nun I read about in Light in Darkness by Sergy Fedel
and how she ran out of tea
and simply turned to the icon of the Mother of God and said
"Mother, I have no tea"
(That to me is prayer).
Lord have mercy.
It's late now.
May God bless, protect and save us!