Thursday, August 15, 2013

Marriage ~ A series of Lessons Learned

(picture by our wonderful photographers)

To continue my writing on
things I am learning in my
still first year of marriage...
Things that help build, feed or nurture a marriage,
as I have experienced it thus far:

9.  Church Family 

Going to church as a couple is a vital routine to build
in the early days of one's marriage.
We are blessed to have a church family here in NJ as
my husband has lived here for sometime.
As this church is far away,
we are also going to a closer church for vespers on Saturday
and other services as life dictates.
Having a near by church is a real blessing as
one can begin to build friendships with other Christians
who one can see locally as life and time permits.
Our 'far-away' church is a blessing as we can serve
quietly in it as our abilities allow.


Church family is a group of people who come to liturgy
to receive Christ through prayer, Holy Communion, Confession
and by worshiping together.

Church family is something that often develops over time
and the first step to having it is to find
a healthy church and commit to going to the weekly
services as much as one can.

10. Biological Family

If you are blessed with one or two healthy families of
your and your husbands,
you are really blessed.

Seeking out biological or 'adopted' family that can be
sources of encouragement, help and support is really

If you have neither,
I would pray and ask God.
As you can, be hospitable as sometimes community and
family is built over time.

Now one of my dear friends has said over the years that
family is messy.

There's no denying that we humans can have our
quirks and complications.
Patience, time, forgiveness and all sorts of things can be needed.

Persistence, phone calls, emails and efforts to communicate
are ways one can maintain family ties when
family is spread out over many miles, countries, states or continents.

Having loving and honest conversations about one's family
can be a really good thing.

Never doubt the power and mercy of God and prayer.

11.  Grace

I bought the book on relationships after
reading the section in it on grace and forgiveness.
Remembering that the other person is human
and needs patience, time and grace
is really important.
Sometimes we can forget that the other person has
their own set of needs and concerns
and that they may not match yours.
That everyone can have an off day or be tired or
need some time.
I find just remembering this can be helpful.

*Note: As is obvious since I have been married less than one year:  my lessons learned on marriage are ongoing and of course are not replacing the many good sources on marital harmony or help. Talking to one's priest, to a counselor whose goal is to sustain marriages and many books may be of help.
 A few books I know of on marriage are found here.

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