Yesterday was the 10th day of Christmas;
I am going to backdate this post so the date matches
the actual 10th day of Christmas.
I rested a lot yesterday.
Finally had my bath, though by accident it was not as hot as
I wanted so eventually I will get that less hurried hot bath! :)
I feel like I am in an odd state of transition where nothing is changing,
including that which is unbloggable (and that does make us weary) but yet I have felt this
sadness... I think my Aunt K.'s sickness (she's had illness for many years
and had to have fluid removed in hospital and a heart catheterization today)...
and just being present to the passing of time...
I am 41 years old... and with that, still young but no longer a child or YA, comes
parents, Aunts, Grandparents, who are older.
It comes with the irrevocable fact that I am facing the sunset instead of the dawn
of my family who birthed and raised me.
And perhaps it is more than this; it is hard to tell.
Anyway, yesterday was a more tired, resting and a bit of a struggle.
But it's OK too.
I was able to wrap up the Munchkin's presents,
got out the recipe for Friday's Christmas dinner,
and got the godkid's (those in the States) presents finally ready for mailing.
I was able to light my lampadas and the Mother of God lampada
made it all the way until bedtime.
It was incredible how this lampada lit up the room when no other
lamps/lampadas were lit.
It's good to remember that one candle, one lampada, can light up
darkness in a powerful way.
I refound this video and showed it to my Husband last night;
I had a real sense of joy at sharing such beauty with him,
and he was able to explain that this is Arwen's father and herself
most likely he is telling her that she must be seperated from him for
as long as earth endures as she is to marry Aragon, a human, and she
as one of the Elves, would live forever among those who would die
and she too would one day go this way...
It's beautiful and worth watching...
I can't imagine living without such beauty
and I read deeply moving words in Elizabeth Goudge's
For God So Loved the World about God
being the most Adored Beauty.
I was touched within myself for I know that what Goudge saw.
What Tolkien saw, is hints of
God, who is the Most Beautiful and the source of all Love...
When I think of this, I could weep for the joy of the very idea
of a glimpse of our most beautiful Lord....
And that was the 10th day of Christmas....