Father's Day / Sunday of All Saints

Today is the celebration of All Saints.

A beautiful day to celebrate also the living

among us who have been a revelation of God to us.

*

My Father is one of these people in my life.

I grew up in a secure Christian home,

one of the biggest gifts I was ever given was a good family.

I loved God from an early age and had a very deep

sense of God as Father.

And I knew what Father meant.

Someone you could go to,

Someone who could somehow fix everything

and make things better.

Reliable.

Patient.

Gentle.

Intentionally Gentle.

Wise and waiting for you to ask for his wisdom.

Meeting you on your level,

never diminishing and taking one's questions

seriously and talking intelligently to me

even when I was young,

not assuming that I was not up to the level

of conversation that my questions were at.

My Dad worked and still works hard;

he put us all through Christian Education

K-12 even when there was not much money to be had.

He gave sacrificially.

And he never mentions it to us or asks for what he

gave to us in return.

I love my Dad because he loves me.

I learned to love God because my Dad loves God.

CS Lewis was my favourite author because he was my

Dad's favourite author.

My Dad can talk sense into me quickly and gently

never condemning, with the insight of me as his

daughter.

*

My Dad can fix anything I think.

When I had a car and broke the headlight he fixed it.

He welds my metal sweater button

on my pretty wool winter sweater.

He fixes my shoes, my belts, my suitcase wheels;

he rebound my teen Bible when I was in my 20's;

it is still with me to this day,

that Bible.

when I was little he hand split lots of shingles for my

doll house, which he also painted, plastered and

wall-papered.

*

I love it that he teases me so much.

His teasing is like extra hugs and I love to tease him back.

*

He paints and fixes up houses for a living.

He is the most trustworthy, hardworking man I know;

he treats his clients well and with care

and consideration.

He learns new painting techniques and new ways to

get work.

I can't tell you how much it has taught me how he works;

always trusting God since his type of work

is not a every-2 week paycheck type job.

Even in the hard times when everyone was out of work

he would never complain, despair or give up.

My being unemployed for the most of the last 2 years

his example has been very steadying for me.

When everything got really hard last November,

job-wise, money/tax-bill wise,

his counsel about looking to God everyday

and that he was proud of me for not giving up

was one of my most meaningful moments

of my still fairly young life.

*

Another was when I was in my early 20's and finally got my

driving license; I had to take the test twice as

I made a mistake on the parking part of the test.

My parents took me out all day practicing and

I can still remember the look of joy and that my Dad was proud of me

when I got the parking maneuver right.

My Dad was so patient with me in taking me driving

to learn; no one better to learn from than him.

*

And my Dad loves my Mom.

I have two pictures of my Dad on my shelf that I see

everyday by my table and this computer.

The one picture is at a wedding and my Mom is smiling

and looking strait ahead while my Dad is smiling,

looking at her with eyes that show his continued

joy and love he has for her.

The other picture is of my Dad and I camping

sitting in chairs next to each other at the camp fire.

I love that picture a lot.

I grew up camping with my family and my Dad

loves nature very much; he is so alive when in nature

and the outdoors.

He feeds us from his gardening every year;

he used to do all the canning when us kids were young

as my Mom had all she could do to get us to bed

each night.

The tomatoes I had last August at home were so good;

he grew them; I had forgotten what a real tomato even tastes like.

*

When I had news of that big job interview

last year that I was flown out for

(but did not get)

he got me flowers and wrote me a small note.

That note is with me everyday, as it is in a special

zippered pocket of my purse.

*

I still love God our Father today and I know

my trust of God was ignited because my Dad

showed me what having a Father means.

It is one of the best things in the world

and I am glad that God the Father

is Father to us both.

Beautiful

The baptism was beautiful today

at the monastery.

I felt very consoled by my time

at such a prayerful place.

Finished

I know.

A lot of blog posts in one day.

Well, it's been a very full day! What can I say?!

I finished and submitted the job application.

It seemed like a big enough deal to want to announce.

*

Two job submissions;

News of 4 interviews;

1 interview done:

that is a lot for one week.

Plus laundry, Tuesday dinner, and life in general.

*

The cake did not get baked but maybe I will be able to do it

later this weekend.

Maybe.

*

Please any prayers for the travel to monastery

are greatly appreciated.

Can you believe it?!?

Late this afternoon,

while I was on the phone,

I got an email for

Another Job Interview.

Two weeks Wednesday morning.

Can you believe it?

All in 1 week I have 4 interviews for 4 different positions.

All Professional. All here in the Ottawa area.

My goodness.

I think I need prayers for my sanity along

with need job prayers!

Wow.

today/friday - another interview over

Interview Over.

I think it went well.

They wanted my references.

I liked them.

The one month contract via job agency

already is over as a current possibility.

I ended up taking a taxi to the interview

(glad I did, the busing it would of been hard but

was easy on the way back;

even saw some older Dutch ladies who I talked to,

was great to hear the Holland Accent :) ).

While I was taxiing to the interview the job agency

sent out a consent to send resume form

which I did not get until I was back

and they had already submitted what they had.

so sorry and all.

Goodness what a roller coaster this all is.

Meanwhile,

some pictures from a walk I took yesterday:

The beautiful dog and cat bowl set up for

those walking in the summer time.

Tres Cool, no?!

Beautiful bench.

I could use some rest time myself.

City Black Squirrel.

Good to see around.

*

I am tired now.

My goodness.

Another job application to finish today

and I had so hoped to bake another

Strawberry lemon cake for church today.

*

My mind is full and bursting.

Thank God I am going to a baptism of one of my

friend's babies tomorrow at the

Greek monastery.

*

Speaking of going to the monastery,

feel free to send me an email (roosjeblog @ yahoo .ca )

or a comment if you want names prayed for there;

I will make a list...

*

I like this little Catholic church

dedicated to St. Theresa, the little flower.

It is always nice to walk by.

Thank you all for your encouragement and

prayers during this time.

God is our only sure stability and salvation...

Cleo aka my shadow

This post is dedicated to

Miss Tilney, Miss Darcy and Big Sister.

Cleo is my every present shadow,

interested in whatever I seem to be closest to.

Inspecting the newly cleaned bathtub for instance.

And she wonders why it is always being cleaned,

sigh.

She watched me iron my clothes for today's interview

but did not offer to help.

Consider the amount of delinting/furring I do

for such clothes,

it is probably good that she does not wish to take over

the ironing duties,

such as they are.

She is especially happy when I return home

and loves balancing on tops of chairs.

And that is what Cleo is up to... :)

(other than begging me to travel with her across the ocean

to meet such cats such as Miss Tilney, Miss Darcy and their

non-cat Big Sister

who she has grown quite fond of through

Miss Tilney's reports).

Another possibility!

When it rains it pours - just got a call for a

**possible** one month contract

via a job agency I met with a few years back.

Now I have 4 potential leads, plus a small contract that I have still not heard back from...

I have to continue preparing for interview tomorrow,

finish a cover letter and do a new resume for this new possible contract!

(i.e. two resumes and a cover letter to finish today plus

more interview prep)

*

Prayers most sincerely requested!

*

Also could you pray for my stamina?

I am pretty certain that it may be a 30-40 minute bus time to

the interview tomorrow and this itself is tiring.

And that I will have focus on the interview at hand,

with so much else going on.

*

Thank you!!

Wednesday Evening Sunshine

Quick post and then interview prep.

Called my Grandma and told her that I know have

three interviews in the works.

She was so excited for me;

she had just prayed this morning that I would

be encouraged and get an interview;

three of them is quite something.

*

I am a bit hyped up due to the upcoming interview

and other factors;

would love to hear suggestions for a good evening

wind-down / relax/ bring calm

things...

*

Of course prayer is part of this.

*

Here's a picture of the chicken salad I made;

realized after the dinner that I did not add

enough noodles; it was too heavy on the stomach

though it tasted great!

Today I added more noodles to the leftovers...

Cooked and diced chicken breast

Sliced grapes

mayo

Dijon mustard

salt and pepper

cooked noodles

Anglican church sign.

Been thinking about Abundance and God.

How does it relate?

Obviously everything we have is from God;

but how are we to think about abundance?

What about our responsibility to others who have less?

Not easy questions.

And I think too easy to fall without realizing it in to a

health and wellness Gospel

which is not Christianity.

Christianity, one of my good friend said years ago,

is summarized in the Beatitudes.

Bit concerned that I may have insomnia again;

happened esp. the first time I took these

get-rid-face-rash-drugs.

This is why I asked for calm-down suggestions.

*

Got my hair cut today!

I had been bummed by my last hair cut and with

three interviews wanted to not be concerned

about what my hair would do that day.

*

Grocery shopped;

strawberries are on a really good sale right now;

savouring the summer fruit.

*

Please pray for my interview preparation; lots to do...

Raining Interviews

Apparently it is interview time for me again!

I have an interview now next week

Wednesday morning as well!

For the place that was my dream job that I

interviewed for in early February.

*

So now I have three interviews.

*

I have a lot to do.

Tired.

Prayers requested.

*

Thanking God for the interviews.

*

Praying that it will lead to a job,

hopefully a full-time permanent job

if that is God's will.

Tuesday Happenings

Checklist:

dermatologist, naturopath and meds - check.

Dinner with friends.

Chicken Salad

Potato Salad

Fruit Salad

and water;

Cake with Apricot sauce

and Mint Tea:

Check.

*

Plans discussed via email to go to monastery this Saturday for

baptism.

Check.

*

Agatha Christie books sold;

people came during my dinner party preperation;

so my friends were with me;

it was a big step for me and to be honest I was

glad for the presence and support of my friends.

*

Read over job description.

Tomorrow - start meds and pray for no insomnia.

Cover letter and job interview prep start in earnest.

*

Thanking God that I have food from tonight to last me the

rest of this week

(and it is a fast free week so no worries about not having

chicken salad on Wednesday!).

*

I admit I am feeling nervous for the interview.

*

Your comments, emails and prayers have been so encouraging.

Thank you.

Question

Does anyone know where I can get a readable

copy (online) of the Akathist to

St. Parascheva?

I found this online pdf

which is wonderful

but it does not print well on my printer.

*

A friend suggested I ask her prayers...

*

I am happy to say my house is getting more orderly

and I am able to go to the dermatologist soon.

Good thing as the rash is getting to the itchy

stage. I remember last time that this preceded

the painful stage.

Hoping to get the meds started so the pain is avoided.

Am reminded again and again that everything

even our troubles

are in God's control and timing.

I need to learn to stay resting in Him.

Lord help us.

The Lord promises to have mercy and to help us.

small update

It looks like I may have an interview

at the end of this month

as well as the one this Friday.

*

I have really changed my reading habits over

the last two years;

have been thinking about this change for about

three or four years.

Some changes I run headlong into

others take a bit longer.

Everyone is different and every one's journey

and spiritual life is unique;

that is why there are so many Saints and they are all

individuals too.

I have been wanting to do more and more to gain

the peace that I know Christ offers

but that I have a hard time guarding.

It came to be that I became more open to radical

(or to me radical) steps to gain peace.

I am also someone who is easily impacted by outward happenings;

I blogged years ago about realizing that even listening to Amy Grant

(a childhood favourite)

would disturb my sense of inward peace.

I am what is written in the book

highly sensitive person

a book that I have never read all the words of

as I would find myself reading it too fast and get overwhelmed.

Which is kind of funny... :)

*

If I was a really spiritually strong person outward events

would not disturb me as they do;

I see this from my reading that I am slowly doing

on Saints and on prayer

(btw I am LOVING the wisdom I am seeing in

the book on Elder Leonid;

it's tying into the Ladder that I am reading;

will have to blog about that later).

*

I have been slowly trying to do more to gain peace

since I declared war on anxiety over year ago;

can't say I am always winning this one.

I sure felt overwhelmed again this morning!

*

Actually I don't know that I can say I gained anything yet.

But I believe that with God gain is possible.

That is something I am slowly seeing.

*

So what is the radical thing that I have changed?

After all this prefacing of it,

the change may seem minor :)

Anyway.

After thoughts, discussions with appropriate persons,

I decided that I should forgo reading mystery books.

Which for me was a HUGE change!

I read mystery books for years.

Even blogged about them.

I was like a 'mini-specialist' on them,

I read them so much.

And I am NOT at ALL saying that this is what others should do.

It's just that I have felt that if it will help me gain peace

than it is more than worth it.

Guess I will have to get back to you on whether it helps or not;

give me another ten years or so,

if God grants them to us all.

*

So I am selling my Agatha Christie collection.

I put it online about a month ago or so and a buyer has been found

and seems excited to be getting them - for her husband as a gift.

Which is really sweet and lovely.

So that makes me feel a bit better about giving them away.

Not getting tons for it, but I did not buy it for that much either.

I do have two biographies of her that I think I will keep,

but other than that,

I am saying goodbye to them.

It is bittersweet.

I hope to get a job so I can keep that money

and buy something special with it;

I already have a few books in mind...

*

If it can help me gain Christ though,

it is more than worth it.

*

Meanwhile,

I feel really run down

and in danger of falling prey to the flu.

Any suggestions?

What do you do to rejuvenate?

*

I am already doing some interview preparation

but I guess the selling of books was such a big thing

to me that I wanted to write about it.

*

Am thinking of MamaJuliana who had surgery today.

Let us remember her in prayer.

*

God is with us.

Suddenly it got very busy

Seeing Dermatologist tomorrow afternoon.

I have dinner for 7 or so tomorrow night.

I bought the food and need to go forward with this.

My freezer is not that big.

I've already communicated with my dinner group

as it were for help.

Why the rush?

Interview this Friday at 11.

Just found out.

Please pray for me.

This is a contract position but is a good one;

is in Ottawa.

I have at least 1 other job application to do as well.

Today is tending to my foot and cleaning as my weekend was long

and I can't function in this enviroment.

I won't be around on blogs this week.

I will be scanning all for prayer requests

so I will be here and praying

but will have to limit my actual going to your blog

outside of Google Reader and commenting.

But you all have my love.

And I ask your prayers.

My rash is not getting better.

Please pray that I will look okay for Friday

and the at meds will work quickly.

Did I mention that the meds can skyrocket anxiety and

create insomnia?

:) Crazy....

My life, it always has some drama.

God is with us.

I am happy to have this interview.

Begging your prayers.

Sunday of Light, Sunday of Struggle

So.

It was a beautiful day today.

Liturgy was beautiful.

Our Parish meal was a great success,

very beautiful, great food, kids talent show,

they are really growing and constantly improving!

*

At the same time as all the good,

and I got the books I was promised and

wow, the books are so wonderful,
I can't begin to tell you how pleased I am.

And two of the books have Akathists in them already!

I love Saint stories and to have these is a

great blessing.

*

I had a small series of events that has proved challenging

and I feel like all the joy of the Feast is being

challenged with it.

1st I accidentally blistered my foot.

Sandal broke;

went bare foot home on both feet.

The foot that I could of kept the sandal on

I did not until halfway home when it was burning

and I saw that I had not only blistered the foot

but the one blister is open with very tender skin.

Oh me of foolish foot choices.

*

Then my oven broke.

Took cake - strawberry lemon cake

only 1/3 baked

to church

and finished baking it there.

Made frosting this morning.

*

Then I looked at my face.

Uh-oh.

Spots. Again. Remember November?

I do.

And I remember the tests I had to do to make sure

I did not have a serious disease.

And as far as I know I don't have a serious disease.

But I can tell you this.

I do have the same rash again.

I came home late from church, looked in the mirror

and the rash is progressing already to the second stage.

So.

Foot hurts. Open wound basically. Face spots.

Plan:

1. call doctor and get appointment.

Get advice on minor toe wound care.

This may seem like over-reacting to an open toe blister

BUT I had a serious foot injury on the other foot

and had a significant infection.

My aim is to not have a new infection now.

And my foot after walking home still has the burning hot

sensation. Do not like.

I want the fire of the Holy Spirit

not of a foot infection.

2. Call Dermatologist in AM and get appointment

3. Call Naturopath

4. buy bus tickets to go to appointments out of downtown

5. pray.

At least this time around I have two months of money yet

instead of no money really soon.

I just hope that the meds I will go on will not increase my

insomnia

which I had for two nights in a row again.

Did I mention I am supposed to be job searching and

life keeps getting in the way?

*

Regardless today is still Pentecost.

I still need the Holy Spirit more than anything else,

job, health, even sanity itself.

Two more done, more to go

Two professional jobs in Ottawa applied for.

Another cover letter is already in the works

and more to start.

*

The balance between rest

(this is a quiet space in my life)

and that I need a job and don't want to

run out of money again

is a constant struggle for me.

*

It must be in God's plan and for a reason.

I remember when I was unemployed for a summer

and after that ended I started going

to the Orthodox church,

decided to become a librarian,

became a catachumen

and then moved home

and then moved back to Canada for library school

and then to Ottawa

and then back to library school...

and then to Ottawa where I still am today.

All in the space of three years;

4 churches in two years;

lived in 6.5 places in three years,

two countries,

four cities.

*

It was a tad overwhelming;

though in my earlier twenties I used to live in three places a year

and fly six times a year;

West Coast-Michigan-New England.

*

Someday I would love to go to Romania

to visit my sister and brother-in-law

(not to mention tons of monasteries!)

but meanwhile,

it would be nice to either be given the winnings of a lottery ticket

(since I don't play myself)

or a job.

I'll take the job :)

*

Blessed weekend everyone!

Friday - nearing Pentecost Eve

Two cover letters and resumes almost done.

My mind is swimming with words;

am on at least my 4th edit of each.

*

Patience is so hard for likes of me.

Here's an amazing quote from an email I was sent

about waiting:

patience thing is one of the hardest things to learn. Not to wish for anything is the best way to get it over with.

- Elizabeth's Godmother

*
Meanwhile,

I have decided to make a strawberry lemon cake for

our church's Pentecost Feast

on Sunday.

*

Tomorrow is a Soul Saturday.

Panakhyda

confessions

and vespers.

A good full and holy day.

*
God is with us.

Praying that we can ask God again this Pentecost

for our hearts to be open to further reception of

the Holy Spirit.

What else can we really ask for?

Reflections on a Thursday Evening

I've been reading a book on St. John of Kronstadt;

in it talks about the theme of joy

and that it is the devil who spreads gloom.

I paraphrase but this theme I am finding

in many Orthodox places.

Living in the joy of Christ, of Pascha.

We are always being called away from and out of

despair, acedia, despondancy

in to Christ;

Christ the Living Water of Pentecost.

Lots of thoughts about being at peace by

accepting all things in the day as God's will;

whether in what God allows or in what He directly wills;

it is a mystery but somehow acceptance of the days events

can give peace

when kept with the rememberance of God

and who He is,

His goodness, His desire to save us.

I wrote before of the concept of

the door opening to summer

We are always waiting for something;

I know how much I am always waiting.

Waiting for a call or email for an interview

or for a work contract.

But it is bigger than this.

Frederica Mattehews-Green writes in her book

on St. Andrew of Crete's service

and in her book on The Jesus Prayer

how the nous,

the faculty of understanding spiritual truth

is wounded and is constantly

buzzing around in circles

looking for distraction because it has not yet

been healed

has not yet descended into the heart

and praying there.

I am slowly reading through the art of prayer

which has a lot of St. Theophan's writing

and am slowly understanding what prayer can be

and that I do not yet have it.

But it is exciting.

To realize there is more;

my spiritual father was talking to a group of us last Sunday

and explained that the understanding of the

two natures of Christ

in one Person

and that the Person of Christ did not change

in the Incarnation

but was enfleshed; Christ in His Person

became Human without losing His Divinity;

He then had two natures

even, from what has been explained to me,

two wills,

His human will and His divine will.

He submitted His will to His Father's will.

Because Christ became human and is uncreated

as one of the Persons of the Godhead

we can join in God's energies but not in His essence.

In other words,

We can align our will to Christ's will

our emotions to Christ's emotions;

these are all things that are true because of Christ's

Incarnation,

truly man, truly God.

Heavy stuff

BUT

wow.

This what Saints are made of.

Saints who are full of the Holy Spirit.

In Communion with God.

God is the Perfect Communion

the Trinity.

This is what we are called and welcomed to.

It is the only way to inward peace...

Wednesday

Picture from Sunday evening meal

*

Cleo's presence at meals is quite noticeable.

Not to mention if I happen to open a can of

Salmon

she gets quite insistent.

In this one however she does not win.

*

Mat. Emily has some great summer meal ideas.

I am in need of all the ideas I can get.

And the Apostles fast is coming.

Any thoughts?

*

Nothing new to report as of late.

Working on three more job applications

more to do after this

and then more still.

*

Today was quite humid and hot

with a dramatic afternoon

hail bouncing

thunderstorm.

Cleo hid under the chair

while I turned off main appliances...

*

All is calm now.

*

Let us pray for each other.

Days pass by so quickly

Slowly writing another cover letter.

Blessed with many unexpected emails today.

So nice to be reminded that one is cared for.

So hard to get everything done;

today was very full.

My friend Mara is better but still struggling.

Noah continues to need our prayers.

MamaJuliana needs prayer.

Tabitha's husband needs prayer.

And many others.

I am so glad we can pray for one another.

request

small prayer request...

for my Dad...

he has not been feeling well for the last

while and we don't know why.

*

Not easy to go to the doctor when one lives in the States

and does not have the best insurance.

Can you pray that he gets better or is able to find out

the cause of the problem?

*

I love my Dad.

He is one of the greatest gifts in my life.

Beautiful Weekend

One of my dear heart friends,

as in one who shares the loves and understandings

of the other's heart

was here visiting one of my other dear friends

and I.

We had tea, strawberries and a chicken pasta salad.

*

I read her quotes from the sayings of the desert fathers

and we talked of the books that give us life

the people we knew in our undergraduate days

and where we find ourselves.

*

We talked about how our generation has different struggle

than many in the generation before us.

Everything is in transition now.

Perhaps we are moving towards a new economy

towards something only our kids may know;

for now it means fewer jobs that give meaning to our lives

fewer jobs out there

and a sense among many of us that we really do not know where

we are going or what to go towards.

*

If I get a job in my field that is sustainable

on all levels,

I will count myself one of the lucky ones.

*

My dream is to be as I already am on a small scale -

providing spaces for friends to come

to be surrounded with the icons of Saints and

books that give life...

and a job that I can do to sustain it that will,

frankly, not kill me in the process of

working there.

*

I got back from my apartment after goodbyes and pictures

to many things.

First, I was surprised to realize I had not properly closed or locked

my apartment door; I had the keys with me but

I was distracted by the leave-taking of my friends and going

down for pictures.

I ended up being gone longer than I thought as the other friend

and I went for a walk and good talk.

Thank God Cleo was fine.

I called for her, got her bag of treats and promised her that if she

came out she would get a small full bowl of milk.

She came. Whew.

Later I had to hunt for my purse (everything had been moved around

due to my friend staying with me) and found that.

All is well.

It was a comfort to know that St. George was protecting my place,

the lampada by his icon is always lit.

The second surprise upon returning was an email from

one of my friends in Christ is giving me

6 of the books in the Optina Elder series.

I have been wanting these books for years now;

I would look at them on the 8th Day Books Catalogue

and dream of having them.
I am being given these Elder books:

- Elder Leonid
- Elder Anthony
- Elder Macarius
- Elder Ambrose
- Elder Nektary
- Elder Sebastian

I can't tell you how surprised I was. I have a small beautiful

icon of the Optina Saints and had been

aware of it again recently

(the icon is in a mini-hallway next to my bedroom door)

and am so excited to be nourished with their words.

*

I am more selective in my reading,

these days and want to surround myself with books

and Saints that can show me how to live,

how to discern and measure things accurately,

and that will not be a hindrance to developing

a spiritual life.

There is so much hope in doing this;

there is a wealth of spiritual wisdom, a treasury of

words and councils to open our selves to Christ,

to receive Christ's life, His living water

as St. Phontini did.

*

It is almost Pentecost.

We need to pray that our hearts be opened to receiving Christ

and the Holy Spirit afresh in our hearts,

in our bodies...

Truly the Maker of all Creation

and the Creator of the beauty of the trees,

the flowers,

the running waters,

is waiting for us to open our hearts and

receive Him.

Saturday

Tired today.

Submitted another application.

More to do next week.

I find it still hard to be organized;

one of the challenges is that I don't have a fully proper

work space; my kitchen/dining table is all I have.

So I have to make do with it.

My apartment is not large and given my situation

obviously

I can't go out and

find one that has a room for

separate office space.

And to be honest, in general I would not even

want more room,

other than perhaps in the kitchen.

More rooms equals more cleaning.

*

I am finding it hard to not know when I will have work

and how God will provide for my needs.

*

I am so thankful that tonight is vespers.

I know I must be thankful also for my situation

for God is arranging everything and every day

for my salvation.

I pray that I can learn higher degrees of

cooperation with God's arranging.

*

God is good and is good to us.

Slowly

Well.

I did not get my job application goal achieved.

More cover letter edits only.

A friend needed my help due to sickness.

I hope to do more tomorrow.

Some days, it gets hard to be patient in this process.

But God will not leave us.

Christ is Ascended! Ascended in Glory!

Liturgy this morning.

So joyful.

Lunch with church friends after was very lovely.

Submitted another job application!

Nearly done with another cover letter

and resume first drafts.

Book club tonight.

I am really looking forward to this.

*

I hope to do at least two more applications other than the

one I am almost done with first draft

by Saturday afternoon.

*

I am going to try to be more effective in my job search.

One day at a time.

*

Today is my Grandma's 81st birthday!

Leave Taking of Pascha in June

After a terrifically muggy hot day yesterday

today is warm but with a constant breeze / wind.

Nice to be home.

But I can also tell that I've been home a little too much.

Ever get that way?

Sigh.

I am writing yet another cover letter.

Almost done with the first edit.

Switched fonts for cover letter and resume.

Trying to keep putting energy into the cover letters,

to communicate professionalism and ready to take on this

new greatest ever position

while still being sober enough in the writing to show

I am a professional.

Hard balance.

Are not these two trees something?
Talk about endurance, adaptability and God's miracles.
Not sure yet how to try to get a part time job

while needing so much time to write cover letters and resumes

for various positions I have found online.

I find that all of this is still fairly overwhelming.

But am trying to just focus on the job application at hand.

No emails or phone calls yet from the ones I've sent out lately.

One of my neighbours on my floor moved out this week.

Gave her apartment to a friend, putting her stuff

in storage, took off work for two months

and living at another friends.

"In transition" she said. I liked her. Wish I knew her name.

We did not know each other well but she suffered the most

last year when the small earthquake happened.

She had lots of things fall off the walls and

started talking then already about moving out.

Many people, when they move,

leave a lot of things behind in the basement.

That's where I got this small two step ladder pictured

above. It smelled like perfume when I first got it;

it reminds me of my Dad since he paints houses

and always has ladders about.

It is always strange to see what used to be in some one's belongings

now given away;

she left dishes, a tea pot, vacuums, and other things.

I took two small mason jars, two IKEA glass containers,

and the ladder.

Since I have lots of tea pots, I did not take that.

*

Today is the leave taking of Pascha.

Somehow it seems that today is a special day,

as if Pascha is strong with us again.

I have purposely had my two Resurrection icons lit

with candles today.

I will move my Pascha icon from my buffet tomorrow

and will have St. Spyridon back;

I think a friend is giving me a copy of the icon

of the Ladder, as we are reading

this book over the summer.

I am constantly surprised by this book.

Pleasantly.

Yes, it is really strong and hardcore

with deep repentance and asking God for mercy,

remembering that we will die and face judgement.

But we need to remember this.

As a friend said to me yesterday

(and she is younger than I am)

that we need all of our lives just to prepare for our death.

Yes.

And so books like the Ladder are so full of life

because it squarely deals with how reality is

how we need to prepare;

but with this is the understand that even mourning,

which I have yet to experience like it is described,

I know it will bring the light and hope we seek.

The icon of Ladder is one that I resisted for years,

afraid of seeing the warfare so clearly pictured.

But this is only my wrong understanding about things,

to fear what is actually true.

Instead I have to begin see what

and who the Ladder is going towards:

Christ:

the Giver of Life, the Light of the World,

the one that Ascends so that the Holy Spirit can come.

The Ladder is the stairway to life itself.

Praying that as we go towards Christ's Ascension we can

have courage to stay on the Ladder.