Many good and beautiful things and a malingering illness

Valentine's Day
I found myself with
very swollen throat and
so a doctor did tests:
no mono, no strep.
I was assured that I was not contagious.
*
Good.
So sick but told I should get better in 48 hours.
*
I had planned on making Mr. Husband
a beautiful more fancy meal
and a cheesecake.
This did not happen;
I was too busy trying to figure out what
doctor I could go to and rushing around
as we had a weekend away planned
starting the next day.
*
So I made pizza
(crust and sauce pre-made).
*
I gave Mr. Husband this DVD
and Mr. Husband gave me this
book on bread
and a CD for us to enjoy.


It was good;
organic ham, some mozzarella and
sauce.

Lit our candles and had
some sparkling juice
that we had been given as a gift
for Christmas.

We went to liturgy for the feast
of the Presentation of Christ in the Temple.
Candles were blessed at the end of liturgy.

It was a beautiful feast.

 

So then Mr. Husband and I went to our hotel
(of course a picture of our makeshift icon corner
with newly blessed candles!)
and then off to Princeton for the
third annual Florovsky Symposium.
*
It was wonderful.
*
Fr. Patrick Reardon spoke on the Bible and
preached Christ in the same
room where Einstein gave
lectures on the theory of Relativity;
to preach on the Creator of all
in such a room was deeply wonderful and
beautiful.
*
Archbishop Demetrios spoke
the next day on how St. John Chrysostom
love the Bible and that
we can be transformed by reading the
Bible with love
reading it as friend and advocate.
This was by far the highlight for me
in terms of lectures.
*
Really enjoyed two other lectures as well,
a real blessing.
*
And I got to go the book room where
8th Day books
and
Holy Trinity Bookstore
had stands and
Mr. Husband and I both got some books
there, agreeing that we will save them
as gifts for later...
*
So that was wonderful,
though I was still not fully well...
and now, on Monday
it is clear that whatever I am fighting
is lingering on, to the point of getting worse
instead of better...so
it is off to NYC to see the doctor...
and one other thing that I hope to tell
you all about soon!
*
If you could pray for me;
it would be nice to get back to full steam again.
*
I continue to be aware of so many needs and ills
in the world and in the circles of friends and
family.
*
Just today my Mother told me of a young man
in his early 40's unexpected passing from death to life;
the stories of sickness, struggles and uncertainty abound...
*
How much we are in need of the Lord's help,
succor, protection and healing.
Lord Christ come quickly, help and heal us!
Comfort us in our days here
that are so quickly past!

And so Monday Lent Week 6 is gone

 

Someday I will miss this time.
I remember when
I tried to buy my first
real camera.
It was the year after a
death of a loved one.
I talked about it for days and weeks
until it was settled.
I don't remember why the urgency
other than my old camera died.
Anyway.
I know I am just having
 a hard time processing
the amount of transition I am in.
I am aware that I am very much
a first world girl
as someone who loves me said today.
It's the artist in me
who sees the beauty, the drama, the grief
and wants to make something beautiful from it.
My very best poetry was written
out of sorrow.
It is the sifting sands that
I feel under my feet and I
want to capture the colour, feel
 and shape of each grain.
Began my research today.
I don't think I will
get the camera before
Pascha.
And in the end,
the camera really does not matter.
How much really we all
want to be with Christ
at His feet.
This is really the stillness
that we need to capture
and be captured by. 

Another possibility!

When it rains it pours - just got a call for a

**possible** one month contract

via a job agency I met with a few years back.

Now I have 4 potential leads, plus a small contract that I have still not heard back from...

I have to continue preparing for interview tomorrow,

finish a cover letter and do a new resume for this new possible contract!

(i.e. two resumes and a cover letter to finish today plus

more interview prep)

*

Prayers most sincerely requested!

*

Also could you pray for my stamina?

I am pretty certain that it may be a 30-40 minute bus time to

the interview tomorrow and this itself is tiring.

And that I will have focus on the interview at hand,

with so much else going on.

*

Thank you!!

Another Day Closer to Pascha

Our days sure can be a mix of sunshine and cloud!

I know many of us are really battered

and just wishing for Lent to end.

***

Lent can really have a lot of unexpected trials;

if not outward, there are often (or also) many

inward trails to be navigated.

We find ourselves at the end feeling that we did not even begin;

indeed, St. Silouan, at the end of his life, said he had not even begun

to gain the needed humility...

***

Indeed,

I know I have done so little,

have barely been able to hold to any of what I hoped to do.

Yet,

or, even so,

I feel that I am being taught that

God is with me

God is with us

God will not leave us

we are not alone

we are not abandoned

God in the Holy Trinity

The Mother of our Lord Jesus Christ

and all the Saints

and all of God's Angels

are with us

are praying for us

and God is doing everything He can to save us;

a friend once told me,

God is more interested in saving us than we are wanting to be saved.

***

Pascha is near!

Holy Week is calling us!

Let us pray that God will be merciful

and clothe us in white

and that we can live more in His eternal Pascha

of which we soon will be in.

***

May the Good Lord protect us as we go through

the rest of this last week of Lent

and into Palm Sunday

and

Holy Week.

Trying Again

The Candles.

My beloved gold chair.

The room with sunlight coming through curtains.

+++++++++++

I am seeing if this will keep my pictures. Am following the exact process of Picasa 3 in hopes that my pictures will say this time.

I do rather like them.

++++++

French - I am learning my numbers. I kept misspelling

treize

quatorze

quinze

seize

I still have to work on them. Sigh.

Trusting God Take Two

Sigh.

What's up with Picasa 3 and blogger?

My pictures keep disappearing.

Is this my punishment for not going to a new blogger or something?

+++++++++++++++++++++

My camera is fixed!

Accidentally transferred files to my camera's memory card

instead of my external hard drive.

I hope the pictures come this time, as I really liked them.

++++++++++++++

I love how the sun comes in through my curtains.

I wanted to capture this before I left my apartment.

As my 'trusting God' original post said,

I have felt unsettled as I know I have to move again.

I don't know how to feel more peaceful about moving;

I know moving is high on the stress charts.

It is funny though.

Most likely I will still have this beloved gold chair,

that I am sitting on as I type this,

that my Dad sat on when I was a wee babe in arms.

Yet is feels so unsettling to have to move again;

If anything, it shows how much I need to grow in my understanding of

what the world is really like.

For example, the world is NOT based in chaos. NO. This is false.

My spiritual father taught us years ago that the correct understanding of the world

is that the Church encompasses the world,

not the world encompassing the Church.

When this is understood,

then we can see how the world is really ordered and that it is not chaotic.

Our world is not based in a broken disheveled dissonant mess;

that are world is experienced this way is true

but it is not its basis. God is the Creator and God is not broken.

Just thought I would make that clear to us all,

including to myself.

++++++

How I can learn to internalize this,

and learn to take the peace of God and of the Church,

inside of me,

this I fear will take sometime.

But I know it is possible.

Our prayers speak of it:

O Heavenly King, O Comforter, the Spirit of Truth,

who are in all places and fill all things,

the treasury of good things and giver of life.

Come and abide in us,

cleanse us from every stain,

and save our souls, O Good One.

++++

May God have mercy and lead us to His peace. Amen.