Clean Week: Thursday

Hello! It's been forever it feels since I last visited you all! 

I've been in church every night since Monday,

it's been good and where everything feels deeply right.

The Canon of St Andrew is like that.

***

We pray that Canon the first week of Lent and some places again in the

5th week of Lent also, all the way through, a very long service.

***

Well.  I am working on a huge unexpected writing project

that has kept me busy for days.

It's actually a hard one to write

and parts of it are very sad so sometimes I feel a bit 

like the stuffing has been taken out of me

and I still feeling my way through it all.

I often feel what I am writing is really worth writing

but don't know anything other than this.

And I really can't tell you anything more

other than my Sister-friend, who knows me so well

and for over 20 years now understood it right away

and said that I must write it for the kids that come after us.

Not that I was thinking it a kid book or even YA but I knew 

just what she meant, for all of that.

***

I made soup today, 

very simple Lentil soup.

***

I got the most beautiful two silver-plate trays today,

both a gift from someone older who I care very much about.

It was utterly unexpected and very treasured.

***

I am reading Elizabeth Goudge's the Blue Hills and it is so 

full of deep sunshine and beauty and everything that is

deeply good that I can't even begin to tell you how wonderful it is.

***

I've been having a TERRIBLE time sleeping.

The time change, some anxiety I have been living with 

(nothing outside wrong, as in our immediate lives)

and well, the big writing project keeps me awake sometimes.

It's rather unexpected and I suddenly understand how

Madeleine L'Engle would go so deep into something she wrote

and it was like it was with her all the time.

***

I have been thinking a lot about what repentance means

and while I don't do it well, especially when I read about

Christian Saints, but I can tell you that I love the Canon of St Andrew

and that repentance and hope are intertwined so tightly that

you can't have one without the other. 

***

Well, I am so very happy to have finally visited you all again.

I must get back into routine.

I really feel like my life has had a huge shift

with my writing in the past half year and I am still

getting my feet back on dry ground while plunging into

unexpected waters so I can later write about those waters.

So while there is nothing deep I can tell you

other than I am going many different places in my writing

and research for my writing. 

So I feel like when I come up from it,

it's like coming up from visiting a foreign land and

being a bit disoriented when I first realize that I am still 

in my home with all my beautiful things

and all the hope in the world because

Christ is there in this world and wanting me to be 

with Him forever, as indeed He wishes everyone would

and sometimes I think if I can only show how beautiful,

how full of sunshine, that hope is,

that then I will have lived to great purpose indeed.

***

So many dear ones are struggling.

Our prayer list is every growing.

May God have mercy on us and save us!