Thursday, August 22, 2019

I didn't know, years ago... hard, how painful, it is to lose a pet 
that has been with you for so many stages of my life...
since the end of graduate school, 6 of the 7 years in Ottawa, 7 years in NJ,
from having me single, dating, engaged, married.... and everything
in between... you just have to google my blog and Cleo to see how much
she has meant to me... 
I am probably going to share many pictures of Cleo eating. 
She mainly lays in the laundry room now, with trips to bathroom (next door)
and food (down the hall and to the left).  
I can assure you she still LOVES her wet cat treats, her milk and 
French Vanilla Ice Cream and still meows her requests quite
vehemently :)
But I know the end is nearing. She is so thin.
More sensitive to touch even, other than on her face and 
under her neck.

However, as my Husband pointed out...
Cleo is enjoying milk like it's an Olympic Sport she laps it up so quickly!
And then inspects the saucer carefully to make sure she did not miss one drop!
She is seriously into her treats... and it makes us laugh,
even though we know soon, she will be absent...
so it's hard and I cry but then I laugh and feel lighthearted.
From what I gather, this is all part of the process and I found my heart
filled with thanksgiving for Cleo and even for her dying because I know that
God is good, He loves all of His creation and somehow nothing good is ever lost.
How it all works out, with creation being renewed, a new heaven and earth...

My Husband brought us falafel which we enjoyed very much, at home...
I did various phone errands today 
(It was a heat advisory real feel up to 99F!) so I stayed home...
and I did dishes.  
I did not sleep the best (always happens if I am grieving, meaning
I woke about 5:30 AM or so) and with feeling sad, 
I just felt like eating vegan chocolate Popsicle and watching Perry Mason.
That I read my prayers, did my list of things to do, finished reading a book
and did not watch any Perry Mason till later afternoon, with said Popsicle,
for me was a what I am calling success. 
But the good thing is I know I will get through this grief.
I know God is merciful and good.
I know God is our Creator and He created Cleo and gave her to me
to care for and be blessed by.  
To be sure I answer Lisa's question, in case you did not see it in my comments on my last post,
I can't postpone my travel.  And I will be seeing a lot of family including ones that are
in the elderly category and one never knows when one's visit becomes one's
last visit, so as much as I wish I could change that, I really can't.
Lisa, I meant to add: when Mr Kibble (a cat for those who don't realize) was dying,
how could you tell that he was going? I don't know what to look for,
if Cleo gets to that stage soon.
I just gave her her medicine and she is now having more milk...
when I picked her up, I could feel even more bones than before.
She is slowly dwindling to fur, skin and bones.
I am glad she is loving her milk so much.
I think it must be soothing to her...
Well.  Thank you everyone who is praying for myself and for Cleo.
I can't tell you how grateful I am!
May God help us no matter what we are facing! 
Lord have mercy on us and shine Your face on us 
and save us!


Granny Marigold said...

As you say, God is merciful, and you will get through this but still it hurts terribly. I'm sorry you have to be sad. But I'm glad you had such a wonderful relationship with sweet Cleo.

Becki said...

Oh Elizabeth... I haven't been checking in regularly over the last week or so and was shocked to see a picture of Cleo in yesterday's post. I thought I'd better check to see if you'd written more before posting a comment and see you've posted again today. How hard it is to see a pet fail and to make this decision, and to walk toward that decision day by day all the while continuing to watch her grow frailer. Praying for you tonight as you're on my mind. I hope you can have peace (even if it's tainted with grief) over Cleo's condition and that you expect her to be gone soon. I'm glad for you that your husband is so understanding and supportive of how you may process all of this. Hugs to you, friend.

Tracy said...

aaawww, Elizabeth... this hurts so much, I know! :( We are here with you... How sweet she'll still come around for ice cream, for milk... that she can still enjoy a little bit. May you all keep enjoying all you can... God is GOOD! ((LOVE & HUGS))

Lisa Richards said...

Praying for your peace as you let go of this little friend. Cleo has had a great life with you and, as you said, nothing good is ever lost. I think we'll be greeted by all of our little animal friends in heaven.

Falafels! Are they good? Never had one, but I've always been curious about them.

Nancy said...

I love the photo of Cleo staring at her saucer!!!