Wednesday, November 14, 2012

A new morning


Cleo was looking so cute
looking out the window
but then she turned to look at me...
Still cute however...

When I open the bedroom door
it is my icons that I see.
I have a little table lampada
in the middle and
at times when it is dark
and it is lit
and I open the door
it is so heartening...

I am still waiting to put this icon up;
have two ideas of where it may go...

I love these thick monastery candles.

Various Orthodox books
that I am reading
slowly
a little at a time...
the art of prayer
I have been working on for two years or so...

Prayer books and Saints Lives...

When I sit reading
this is what I see...
St. Irene, St. Ephraim...a small
icon of the Mother of God
and a dear friend's wedding blessing
that she wrote from her family...

The icon of the our Lord Jesus Christ
shines out brightly;
yes,
those are my rabbits...
from my undergrad days
a good 14 or so years ago now;
wow, how time has flown by...
 
The Pochaev Mother of God.
*
That Mr. Husband did a prayer in front of
a copy of this icon
near his old home
one night with a cat rubbing his leg
nearby was a turning point in
our early relationship
as I love this icon very much.
*
I am grateful for the mercies of God being new
every morning.
It's been a real up-and-down week
and I am hoping for a better day today.
*
Transitions are usually a bit
hard for me at the beginning and
some days are easier than others.
*
I am realizing how much I crave the sunlight
and light in the day time.
*
Prayer helps, reading...
*
The book by Elizabeth Elliot that
has grief and how to
work through it as one of its
themes.
*
While I understand and fully believe
that I have not lost
what I had in Ottawa
in terms of it is within me
and all the goodness will always exist
because God exists
but it is like I have to pick up
everything again
anew
try again
deal with myself again;
reminds me of what the monk said to me
about a month ago
trying to build a house for one's soul
is not always quickly done
easy and it can be
frustrating as one
seeks to build it.
*
There is a lot of learning for me
here as I encounter new things
new people,
new ways of being at church
new town, stores and places.
*
I am really hoping that I manage to
go swimming tomorrow morning.
This may be a small thing
but I am finding I have to start there,
small, small, small.
*
The library is still closed in this town.
I thought of volunteering at the hospital and
found they are not accepting anyone new
until January.
*
It is not that I don't have TONS to do at home.
I do.
Like the wedding pictures I still have not gotten to
for various reasons.
Paperwork and other research for our household.
*
The point is that I need avenues to find
Elizabeth in this new land
and ways to get out of the house and make new connections
build a new life.
*
These things do not always come easily to me.
But with God things are possible and
His mercy is everlasting.

3 comments:

Michelle M. said...

I can relate to some of what you are going through. When we were married, we packed up and moved halfway across the country to a place where we had no friends, no church, and no jobs (my husband was in seminary at the time). It was a huge transition, but, glory to God, it went very smoothly for us. I pray the same is for you.

Victoria said...

I hope you make it to the pool.

my prayers are with you. transitions are tricky to navigate.

xo

E Helena E said...

Praying for new opportunities, friendships, occasions all in good time. I love seeing the glimpses of your new home, the familiar icons and Cleo all settled in.