"Did I ever tell you about the time..."

I got out a treasured loaf of cherry nut bread my Grandma

made us for Christmas 2 back that I had in our freezer,

as one of my most guarded freezer-treasures...

I seemed to need an extra special "pick-me-up"...

***

I have friends with Husband's who have lost a lot of work hours,

or who have had salaries reduced or who are even waiting to see if

they are laid off or not.

***

It got me thinking...

those who have read my blog for many years

(amazingly my blog is nearly 15 years old!)

will remember when I went through job loss myself.

I was living in Ottawa Ontario at the time

and I tried so hard to learn French or at least "Business French"

so that I could apply for more jobs there, seeing that it

is the capital of Canada and thus many jobs had

bilingual as an absolute requirement. 

Well, I did try very hard and made some progress with French,

I also moved to a smaller apartment to save on rent,

and spent many months job searching,

was even flown out for one job interview.

I remember my parents's encouragement so deeply,

so many treasured moments in that difficult time.

Well.  There came a time, after months of job searching,

interviews and such, that I got an unexpected tax bill in the mail.

I had made a mistake and forgot to include a form,

an oversight on my end and so I had been given more money

than I was actually due and thus had to give money back

but by this time, with months of interviews, the unexpected bill

was pretty much the entire amount of what I had left to live on.

And to be honest, that was only about 2 months rent, without food or hydro 

paid for yet, not to mention my phone/internet bill. 

Well, I can tell you I was very scared.

At the same time I got a terrible rash that could be a sign,

50% chance, that I had cancer and not the easiest kind.

Thank God, I did NOT have this cancer...

I found this out within a months time...

God, through the kindness of friends, gave me unexpected monies and

I was able to pay rent and buy food.  

I remember I sold some of my books for money (and bought with a bit of that

money a beautiful icon of St Katherine, a copy of course, that I still have

and light candles by on the buffet every day!).

I remember once, when I had that awful rash, that I went to a small

store where I could buy good yogurt for a decent price and good eggs

that were not overly expensive. 

It was towards closing and I am sure, since I did have a mirror, that the rash

I had was quite a sight, and the woman at the till let me take some hot soup

home, free of charge.  I felt so very grateful. 

Well, this hard time went on for I think over 2 months.

Christmas was in the middle of it and my parents managed to find

a plane ticket to fly me home to Michigan so I was not alone 

at Christmas (my parents have a house and some land but are

in no way 'rich' and I always felt that God (and St Nicholas!) helped them

find that plane ticket!).... and because of the help of friends, I had enough for December and

January rent and could go away for the short time, since the Christmas holidays

are not hiring times in Ottawa....

Of course, Christmas, lovely, so special, with my family, the time

came and went.... and back to Ottawa, to Cleo my Cutest Cat of all of Canada,

to my small apartment and my still job-less situation.

Back to interviews, job searches, cover letter and resume tailoring, 

and I went to the bank and paid my bills and I had 300 dollars left.

Again.  Not enough for the next month's rent.

I remember leaving the bank, walking back home, which was not far, 

as I lived downtown, and I told God in complete surrender,

that if He wanted me to keep living on complete charity, as it were,

from His hand alone and not by working, then fine, I would trust Him

to help me with my rent, food etc. 

And within an hour I had an email for a contract that made me more money

in 2 months than I had ever made, so quickly, in my life. 

By living carefully, and getting just as lucrative work over the summer, 

I was able to get by for some months,

[and, a now dear friend overseas, had told me (before I paid the bill) to call the tax people

and see about paying only a little at a time, which was fine by them, it turned out.]

And then I got another job

 (and lost it later but then got yet another better job) 

and by this time

I was dating the man who is now my beloved Husband.

My tax bill is long ago paid off and my dream of marrying a good man 

came true and it will be 8 years this September that we were married.

***

I remember, in the midst of that very hard time, before that Christmas when my

parents flew me home, that I was peeling carrots and my vegetable peeler snapped suddenly

at the head and broke.  I remember calling my Mom and asking if she could buy me one

for a Christmas present.  I was having a hard time just affording groceries so my Mom

very kindly did get me a vegetable peeler.  And two years or so later, I got a second one at

my family bridal shower when I married my Husband from my cousin A

and now have two very good simple vegetable peelers 

(and not the kind that break like my old one)

and to be honest, having 2 of them has always made me feel like I was living

in great luxury! And it still does.

***

The apartment that I moved into to save on rent, 

it was a real step down from the one I had been renting, 

but yet I learned so many valuable lessons while living there,

and in the end, it was there that my now Husband asked me to marry him.

Of course I said YES.  

***

I still think this must be one of the most defining moments of my still young life

(43 is still young especially as one sees oneself getting older and her parents older still etc)

and one that I must remember in the light of seeing so many struggle

with work, not knowing if they will lose their work or what will happen.

***

My months and months of unemployment and struggle were very hard.

Traumatic really, in many ways.  I had no safely net, no huge savings,

no rich family to help.  But I had the kindness of friends and a God who 

protected me and in the end provided me with unexpected employment and

even more unexpected joys in my meeting my Husband, dating him,

being engaged, married and a few years later buying our

flat together in NJ.  (It's technically a condo but it feels like what is

called a flat to me :) ).  And I no longer have that

pressure, which I really had for many years, as most of my work was by contract, 

some yearly work some a bit less, before things got difficult,

of looking for work or knowing one was looking for work within a few months. 

***

No one knows the future but I sure hope I can remember how God took care of me

and remember to trust God in the hard scary times that we find

ourselves in, even now.

***

I know many are not in my situation and many are struggling with no end in sight.

But then, I remember what a dear older Catholic lady, who was so prayerful,

would always tell me with wonder:

look what God got you through, and that, that was a miracle

and I can see that even when one is in the midst of terrific struggle,

that God really is our only source of peace, of a sound mind, and it is God

who takes care of us, even when things are fraught with difficulty. 

***

And that is what I decided it would be good to share now,

to tell you about that time when....