I am reading Volume I of Elder Cleopa's
I recommend it.
I think it is especially helpful for us who converted from other
Christian traditions as it covers a lot of ground
in a question and answer format
that is really cohesive and gives a lot of insight.
I am really struggling with my unknown future;
I have struggled with this for years
and it seems it is still a huge struggle for me.
I just want my life to change,
to have a routine again, a job to go to;
it is really hard and I keep falling and getting up again
and keep trying to call out to God for help.
I hope I get an answer this week;
I wish I knew what answer I wanted;
I am beseeching God to give me what is most needful.
I have no idea what this maybe;
but if it is to move I'd rather know as it will be painful
but I'd rather know
for not knowing if I am about to go through the pain is almost worse
that going through it.
All I can say in this is that I seek to trust what is true:
Christ in the Church
and that God in the Holy Trinity
is good and loves mankind.