Transformation comes in various ways, including the mundane

Cleo's been having litter box issues.

So researched, got a new box and litter, kept the old litter box but moved

it to the bathtub (we have 2 bathrooms in our place), so that she still has it...

was not way to keep the old litter box where it was and 

still try the new one...

hoping she adjusts well do it, as we could do with 

some success in this department.

***

Husband's allergies were retested, DUST mites being the culprit.

he is told that the bedding has to be washed 1x week.

Ack.  As if I needed more work on my already full plate.

I am researching new things for this as well.

I feel a bit discouraged about this, 

as I am doing so many things, that adding more

just seems a bit overwhelming at this point.

But I have some ideas on how to get this 

all done, so that's something.

***

I have a new essay coming out on Thursday,

that's the good news!

***

I had some fun researching shelving that we may

put in this summer in the office, 

which is in dire need of a complete overhaul. 

***

I am a bit off kilter in terms of my routine/rhythm that I have

been trying to get reestablished, ever since our trip abroad.

It sure can take sometime to get back into things.

Lord have mercy on us all,

no matter if we are big or small... 

Decisions and waiting

 

After days of the high dose of
medicine
plus no/small amounts of sleeping for days
among other things
I finally hit the wall with it last night.
*
This morning I decided that
I just would stop that medicine now;
I'd had enough,
the allergic reaction is fading away
and the other risks were greater
and I no longer wished to feel so incredibly
wired while needing to rest,
since the doctor told me I had mono.
*
I go back to the doctor tomorrow
and hope to know more then.
*
It is going to take a while for the
high-octane meds to get out of my system
but at least the continued craziness is
slowly subsiding.
*
Whew, whew, whew.
I'd had enough!!!
*
Meanwhile I am knitting.
I ordered more yarn and two more sets of
needles - an size 8 and size 13
for two projects I want to start on soon.
*
I feel that it will take me a week just to recover from the last
few weeks...
I just hope I am really on the way to full recovery;
I really wanted to make bread today
but I still don't have the strength.
*
At least I can knit...
*
And this morning I changed the table cloth
and candle-sticks.
I am slowly changing things as we gear up for Lent
and I wanted my table to try to reflect a change as well.
I am looking forward to putting out the Lenten icons.
*
Lord have mercy on us!
Sometimes things seem like a really heavy burden;
at the same time,
I am increasingly aware of God's mercy and love.
Lord have mercy,
Lent is coming!
Lord, bring us to Pascha and the Joy of Your Resurrection! 

Already towards the weekend

I've had an eventual week,

but not a lot of job search opportunities.

I see my job coach again next week

and am starting to do some research for

to look into networking opportunities.

*

Noah continues to struggle greatly.

*

I am going to see my Oma end of this month

as she is 102 soon 103 and

it may be the last time I see her.

*

As far as I know I will be in Ottawa for Christmas,

but at least I will be in Michigan with family beforehand.

(it is not my sister and brother-in-laws year to be

home for Christmas so I go in the first part of

December to Michigan).

*

I need to get my godson's baptismal outfit tomorrow,

the baptism is Saturday!

*

God is with us and will not abandon us.

Reading and Waiting

I am reading Volume I of Elder Cleopa's

Truth of Our Faith -

I recommend it.

I think it is especially helpful for us who converted from other

Christian traditions as it covers a lot of ground

in a question and answer format

that is really cohesive and gives a lot of insight.

*

I am really struggling with my unknown future;

I have struggled with this for years

and it seems it is still a huge struggle for me.

I just want my life to change,

to have a routine again, a job to go to;

it is really hard and I keep falling and getting up again

and keep trying to call out to God for help.

*

I hope I get an answer this week;

I wish I knew what answer I wanted;

I am beseeching God to give me what is most needful.

I have no idea what this maybe;

but if it is to move I'd rather know as it will be painful

but I'd rather know

for not knowing if I am about to go through the pain is almost worse

that going through it.

*

All I can say in this is that I seek to trust what is true:

Christ in the Church

and that God in the Holy Trinity

is good and loves mankind.

Another Interview Over

WHEW.

Thank God.

and Thank you all for your encouragement and prayers.

The interview went well.

I would love the job

and told them frankly that

it was a dream job for a librarian.

:)

but it is in God's hands.

*

I feel a bit stronger today

but still have to sort out

what is troubling me that I can't blog about.

So all I can say is I feel a little stronger to be able to do

/ face it

but that the situation is yet unresolved.

So prayers for God's mercy and help much appreciated.

*

Today is a sunny day,

such a change after yesterday's grey and heavy rains.

*

I am so thankful that I was able to do well at the interview.

There are other candidates so it is hard to know

how well they will do

in relation to how I did

so really there is no predicting these things.

So I have to keep waiting.

*

It has been a rough time for me emotionally and

fatigue-wise

(fatigue I think just from the stress of interviews and

waiting to hear what is happening,

staying, moving, which job;

and the recent shock of my Aunt and Uncle losing their house

really impacted me too).

*

In these times were merely can depend on God's help

and mercy.

Links, my Cat and Various Points of Hope

My printer has been on my table for a few weeks

(other than when I have an impromptu dinner party)

since I am printing not only Akathists

but lots of job related interview prep.

*

The interview prep is going well,

as in I am learning tons about the field and thus

the position.

I will have the interview in exactly one week.

*

Meanwhile Cleo is as we speak in her new 'spot' on

the bookshelf.

She is a comfort to me as she is great to give hugs to.

*

Really liked this post by Fr. Stephen;

neurotic Christians;

Yeah.

Sometimes it is just a good reminder to pull back a bit and breathe.

St. Phanourios;

A lovely Greek lady gave us some

St. Phanourios bread.

*

It filled me with a sense of joy, of hope.

This Saint, as you may know,

prays for us to find those things we need...

for me this is the need for a job

and for whatever my heart needs

(I need something, just not sure what!!)

*

It was the best St. Phanourious bread I have ever had;

incredibly light;

the prayer and skill for making this small bread

was not small!

I recently prayed part of the Canon to St. Nina and was hearted

to realize how she prays for those who need

salvation, who need baptism.

On my heart are some deeply loved ones

in my life

who are not yet baptized Christians

and who I deeply wish would come to church and

deepen in their journey towards God in the church

and walk the road of healing towards Christ

that we all pray we are on...

*

Some incredible links I need to share with you,

in case you have not found them yet:

Deb introduced us to these lectures by

Archimandrite Meletios Webber ;

I find listening to him a comfort

partly because I have always found listening to things

relating to Christ and psychology comforting;

I cannot say I was a fully 'normal' child,

as by my teen years I listened to Focus on the Family

(Protestant Christian psychology based discussions

revolving around supporting the family)

and I was still pretty much a kid myself.

Anyway, Fr. Meletios' podcasts and voice I find to be

a comfort.

Another worthy few links:

Another on Fr. Meletios actually - short and worth reading.

I sent this podcast by Fr. Thomas Hopko to a friend

after listening to it myself -

thoughts, feelings, memories -

it encouraged both of us.

Thank God the church has given us practical ways to deal

with ourselves and the struggles we face.

Last link of the day (or at least of this blog post!)

This post by Fr. Stephen about how our life can be with Christ

has been coming back to me in these last days -

how we need to be aware of our real state

and being with God in our helplessness.

*

With the change in weather to grey

the heaviness of various people's suffering

my own uncertain job situation

and intense interview preparations

it has been a huge struggle for me

as of late.

But yet with God it is not impossible.

Read this saying in a email signature,

which sums it up for me:

with faith in Christ all things are possible... but not easy.