...we're living in a difficult and dangerous world, and no amount of sticking our heads in the sand is going to make it any easier. Western man has tried for too many centuries to fool himself that he lives in a rational world.
-Madeleine L' Engle (The Circle of Quiet)
In case my post about worry seems to only seem to be worry understated, I want to assure you that no, this is not actually the case.
Rather is a turning in my understanding of how the world is. Certainly not in my control - and as I begin to live in this reality - I can begin to relax. Become flexible, plan but not in stone.
God is our Rock and our Refuge. Other than this, there is no stone to write our plans in.
A colleague of my Mother's life was flipped this week; his brother was killed after being bit by a black widow spider. Throat swelled shut, vomit filled lungs, no oxygen for 30 minutes, he died a day later. He was at a campfire when it happened. No warning.
My Mother and I have conversation after conversation about people we know who are dying, have died, are severely ill or some other tragic event.
But like Madeleine L' Engle, I and my Mother have also chosen to believe in God and that His love will and does out distance it all.
I have told friends on various occasions that one of the reasons I am a Christian is because the description of God's love and of Christ - in the Bible - and in literature - and in experience of many. I do not believe humans or this world (without God) are ultimately able to create a Christ who is so loving; it is because God's love is outside of our experience that I believe it is true. Basically we could not make it up.
Somehow growing up is learning to relinquish control, seeing a world full of tragedy but seeing also love hidden in the midst.