I am in the middle of the book by
Madeline L'Engle, Two-Part Invention,
where her husband is sick with cancer and she writes
how while she wishes with a friend that they could just
take the suffering away,
and then they realize that they must not do this,
as it would also take away human freedom.
And then I listened with new ears to my husband
reading the story in the Gospel of the Crucifixion of Christ
and I realized in a new way how Christ choose to suffer for us
and had to suffer for us and that just like
Madeleine's husband had to suffer through the cancer
alone, so Christ had to be crucified and feel that aloneness,
that suffering on the Cross,
where He kept loving and forgiving others.
And I had to hear and as it were watch Christ suffer
and could not 'fix' it, had to have Christ die so that we could live.
It's given me a lot to think about
in terms of accepting the lives I see around me,
that while I can care and certainly pray,
I can't and must not even think of trying to 'fix'
what I see...
it that makes sense.
It seems somehow to be about respecting whatever
God is allowing, respecting the freedom and calling of others,
and allowing absolute freedom to choose what life and even suffering
that a person lives with.
Of course I don't mean in this to condone or ignore abuse or something of this nature,
but that a lot of suffering in the world is simply
not mine to solve as it were, much less understand...
and I realize also that I am not someone that can solve things
or be that which can support such suffering;
each one of us has a journey that is often
undecipherable and that we must just be focused
on the mercy of God
and keep asking for this mercy..