Monday, January 12, 2015

On Christmas Time...this time around...

Cleo looking intently at birds.
An improvement from our last place, this.
A friend said it takes a good year to be settled into one's new place,
to really know the rhythm of it.
This Christmas has been very poignant in many ways.
It was so nice to have such a long time in Michigan with our families.
One of those very rare events where holidays and weekends aligned for
a longer time away...
But we are already reflecting that next time we have to come back sooner;
it's always a both/and or a double edge sword, even the little choices or 
seemingly little choices in terms of vacation.
We are still fairly new at this,
it being our third married Christmas. 

Lots of people got blindsided this year around Christmas;
medical issues, hospitalizations and other stresses.

My beloved better half has a lot on his plate at 
any given day, between his 'day job', his work for our
church and our personal 'at home' work...

I of course keep the home front running, or I try to;
while directing, teaching, planning Sunday School
and our church book store / kiosk, 
and the many other things I do....
like cookie baking and other such lovely things.

I had been dreaming of having at least one 
Christmas dinner with others during this time.
I was so excited.
And we thought we could do it,
until various things fell through, from getting in 4 hours late to home,
not sleeping well, and Mr. Husband suddenly having tons of new work at work
and having to travel unexpectedly.
Everything is still progressing.
I had well over a month ago decided I was not going to Ottawa
for Theophany this year; 
with trying to do the 12 days of Christmas and 
what I hoped would be at least 1 dinner party,
it was just too too TOO much, going to Ottawa + 12 days of Christmas.
Well now no Ottawa, no dinner parties and we are still recovering and
I am only now starting to sleep a bit better...
This is the last week my friend and my goddaughter are going to be in 
New Jersey. 
Lent is super early this year and I have to prepare for Sunday school.
I thought of going to Ottawa during Great Lent but even that now
I don't know if I can do. :(
These are all just details and I am in many ways having to accept 
that even though I have many wishes for Christmas time
they can't always all come true.
And I am aware of how my not-sleeping-well for weeks now,
along with some other stressors, means that I 
have to rest and accept that I can't do everything I wish.
I did too much that first year of marriage and know that
instead of slowing down and resting like I should of,
instead I got mono and was really ill for half a year.
So I am learning in new ways how to triage, how to accept
that we can't meet every wish, goal or idea.
It's a challenge; I really want to celebrate all the Feasts and 
with everything going on, I don't always get to.
I can see that I need to be patient; 
we are still figuring things out.
Meanwhile, am seeking to rest and am also thinking
of how I wish to improve on my habits,
not have everything be last minute....
And to acknowledge that even though it does not,
at least to me, sound like a lot to
do Sunday School, 
it really is, in terms of trying to do this 
with fitting in everything else I need or want to do.
But I love Sunday School, 
which means that I am going to focus on resting and accepting
that this year dinner parties for Christmas are off 
and it's OK... better to rest and be well
than otherwise. 
There is another week in the 12 days of Christmas and while
I have had to accept not doing all I had hoped to,
it is still a beautiful time and one that I cherish.
Christ is born! Glorify Him!


Juliana said...

These things are all a process, I find.

You just have to walk through it and find yourself on the other side at some point.

The little baggie with the "not for Juliana B" makes me smile. :)

Martha said...

You have been busy. Have you tried to take melatonin to help you sleep?

Kathleen said...

What a lovely cat. I am hoping to convince my husband of having one join our family soon. I hope restful sleep finds you soon.

October Rose said...

I have felt this way a lot, too. I had planned to try and celebrate the 12 days of Christmas to the fullest, getting together with friends and celebrating throughout. But my mother-in-law came to visit before Christmas, which took a lot of energy ... and during the twelve days I just didn't feel like doing anything! It is disappointing but I think sometimes what we really need is the rest.

I hope your sleep gets better!

elizabeth said...

Juliana, yes, indeed a process; now you see how careful I am with my cookies! :)

Martha, I don't know that the meletonin would help but should try!

Kathleen, thanks! hope you get the cat right for your family!

Oct Rose - I hear you. Yes, we often do just need some rest!

E Helena E said...

Glad to know that Cleo has such a good perch:-) Yes, you are still adjusting also, so good to triage! Love and hugs.

Elizabeth @ The Garden Window said...

The wrappings for your baking are simply lovely, and Cleo looks exceedingly happy with her new vantage point :-)

Apseed I said...

I also always try to do more than I can. And then I feel frustrated that I can't do it all. I think we need always to remind ourselves to be gentle and take one step at a time.