So I called my Grandmother yesterday evening,
while monitoring my beloved husband's plane trip online.
He's getting in late, probably between 1:30 - 2 AM.
I am so waiting up for him!
I think sometimes on the fact that my husband may die before me.
So last night I called my Grandma (I try to call at least once a week!)
and we talked and before we said goodbye,
I thought I should just ask that question I was thinking of, so I did.
I began, and almost immediately began tearing up,
Grandma?
Yes, she said.
You know how Aunt H. married Uncle J. and he was older
and now she is alone?
Well, I married [Mr. Husband] and I may have the same thing happen.
Yes, she said, You might.
But Grandpa and I were the same age, I thought due to his health problems
that he may go first but only by a few years but here it was
9 years already since he is gone. I thought I would follow him in a few years...
And we talked about how you never know when something may happen
and that while it is possible that Mr. Husband will go first,
we just never know...
And I edged closer to my question,
yes, but Grandma how did, how do you do it? How do you cope
being alone, without Grandpa?
And she immediately answered,
God gives you the strength when you need it.
I really felt God's peace ~
that all was Okay and like it was supposed to be.
Grandma was ready and God took him {a mercy}...
She went on, God gave me peace and things to do
to keep busy, though I do miss him, it's the way it is
supposed to be, God had it planned.
I feel like we had the time together that God had for us...
we are not given the strength ahead of time,
but when we need it, then it will be there.
She said sometimes she is lonesome sometimes,
but I never feel all alone, I feel like God is with me,
God's Presence.
It's why I like to listen to nice music {hymns, Gaithers}...
all of a sudden I will stop what I am doing, put the book down
and just listen,
and feel that [through the music] God is speaking to me....
She went on to tell me,
Years ago I read a story by Corrie Ten Boom,
that when she [Corrie] was a little girl,
she would worry and how her Father taught her
by use of example of going on the train,
and her father told her that just like he does not give
Corrie the train ticket until the train is there,
so God will be there for you when the time
comes for [that time of particular need]...
and my Grandma went on to tell me,
just like Corrie's father would not give her the ticket
for the train before she needed it,
so not a day early will you be given the strength ...
and she quoted the Psalm..
...as [long as your] days so your strength shall be...
And my Grandma went on...
Elizabeth, I don't know the future, when I will die,
if I will need to go in a nursing home or what will be...
but I am not worried because where ever I am,
God will be there with me.
*
I feel God's Presence,
So precious to know that we are never alone,
and sometimes I have to remind myself,
if I feel sorry for myself,
that I am never alone.
Jesus has promised, never will I leave or forsake you.
*
And that is what my Grandma told me
and I am so very glad I asked.