Trusting that Joy will come in the morning

I had such a special time with my dear friends
And godbaby
In spite of the loss of my job.
Then I came home,
Read many kind and loving comments and emails
And tried to sleep.
Tossed and turned and finally Cleo meowed at about
1:30 AM and I got up,
Stood and sat by my lampda burning bright
By St. George
And wept.
God, I did not want to go through this again
Is all I could say.

*
...Yet, I know ultimately it will be okay.
I learned so much about having to trust in God
And living in the present.
Frankly that is how I was surviving the job I just lost.
There were many good points about my job.
But it was hard for me as it was quite intense
And I am quieter and research minded;
the more social aspects of the job were hard for me.
Frankly, they overwhelmed me at times.
I am so sad though.

**
I am in the middle of planning a birthday party

for one of my best friends here
And I was going to take her out to eat.
Now that my income is again not guaranteed;
Suddenly everything has changed – again.
***

But not everything has changed.
I can still prepare for the birthday party.
I am making the cake and I am going to have
People over for her special day
And I have already planning out a lot of it
to make it really beautiful for her.
Just like dear friends have done for me.
God willing,
Nothing will stop me from making a beautiful
Birthday evening for one of my dear friends.
Nothing.