(41): VNA rummage sale treasures and the weekend as it was

As we always do, we found some lovely things

for our home at the VNA.

While it will take time,

we have a lot of Delft (including 3 we just found!) plates to hang up!

I know exactly where I want plates 

(above kitchen cupboards and in hallway up high)

and was so pleased to find these 3:

Plus the above bowl on top right above!

As you can see, we found some lovely pottery to add to our collection!

Also found this cute whimsical teapot!

I have a similar one for Wind in the Willows and was 

excited to find this one as well!

(as usual, Mr Husband actually spotted it and showed me!)

We have a corner cupboard in our kitchen that

was under-utilized so early Saturday morning, before

quilt guild at 10 AM, I cleaned everything out of it,

put most of it back in the bottom shelf only and 

was able to fit the new teapot, bowl, soup tureen and cake stand

in this cupboard! Which means the new buffet we still have for

later.  I plan in advance ;) And while we have a lot of space, with our 

kitchen and buffets, things do fill up... 

***

DV I have having a small dinner party next week Sunday night 

Menu:

Roast Chicken

Roasted fingerling potatoes with parsley

Roasted Brussels Sprouts 

Salad

Biscuits 

I am not sure on the dessert yet, I have various options in the freezer :)

I do know that I want to use my gold rimmed white plates,

the new demitasse cups and saucers 

(I have 4 cups and 3 saucers but have white and gold rimmed saucers

which will do for the 4th one), the matching 4 dessert (or bread) plates,

the new wide blue bowl... 

***

I got one other VNA rummage sale pottery find:

this lovely 3 tiered tea tray! 

It's Royal Albert, Old Country Roses pattern! 

I have the hardware for the gold coloured stand as well,

I just did not want to take the time to assemble it before I put it away!

It was fully assembled when we found it, we merely wisely had

it disassembled before we took it home as there would be much

less chance of it breaking and I store them disassembled anyway.

I can have tea parties now, on the fancy side, as this is the 4th

three tiered tea tray I have found, all from the VNA

(with two being drilled for the holes for the hardware by my Dad a 

year ago! they are so beautiful!)

I found some beautiful jewelry at the VNA for really reasonable prices!

These are both for the wedding I am going to later on. 

I will be wearing DV my silver ball gown and new red hat,

so this necklace, with the silver and red + the bracelet will be perfect for that!

I kinda went a bit "crazy" in the stationary tent.

Most of the stationary is being quarantined for 3 months in

bags and garbage cans in the garage...

(same old same old, making sure no bugs are there or at least not living) 

but the above items were still new/unopened so I got to have them now :) 

Vespers last night for St Innocent of Alaska...(locally)

and for the Conception of St John the Baptist (faraway church this morning)...

church is always a blessing.... 

This cute ice cream *pink* bowl (!) was 1$ at the VNA rummage sale

this past Friday and I was so excited to find it!

It was just the perfect size for a bowl of my favourite

Trader Joes French Vanilla Ice Cream :)

I LOVE this card and it is going off to my godson for his birthday soon!

Belated names day flowers!

(St Elizabeth Mother of St John the Baptist, her day is Sept 18th, 

well, one of her days anyway!)

Dinner of leftovers!

 I appreciated seeing this meme.

Of course Christ did not condemn but also said

"go and sin no more"...

***

I am still preparing for the wedding I keep mentioning 

(DV I can share more after the wedding which is the

first week in November)

and am going back to the makeup store on Tuesday,

not only to return/replace some things but to ask more questions

as I will be doing my own make up for the event and want to do

my dear friend (who is a lovely fun, fashionable smart and deeply pious 

Orthodox monastery-loving woman!)

proud and be pretty for her special day.

***

I realized that I get really stressed at times,

OK actually I have known this for years but it cropped up again,

when I am spending money for "me" and can get way

too anxious about it.

Even though I have plenty of friends who are Orthodox Christians,

not to mention Christians in other Christian churches,

who wear makeup or spend money on their hair or such things. 

***

I felt the same struggle when I was newly in the workplace

and needed new business clothes. 

I struggle with it on and off and have for years;

it does not stop me from buying things 

(obviously as this post RE: VNA rummage sale finds)

but it can really being me down.

***

I can struggle also with a sense of despair that is not of God...

the Psalms (such as Psalm 18) really help me with that...

or remembering what Fr Stephen Freeman said about asking God

very simply and repeatedly: "comfort me"

and also what my favourite Abbess told me about

remembering God is the one one can always turn to,

is always there for us, is fully dependable

and is the Greatest of Friends.

***

I just feel often this deplorable (or perhaps it should read

heavy, grief-laden) lack within myself.

I am fighting this again and remembering Mat Constantina's 

narration of the nun who had been mistreated and could not do 

any self-criticism, esp deeply (the kind that is suppose to bring humility,

not despair) and instead was told, was instructed to practice

daily thankfulness. 

***

Speaking of thankfulness, THANK YOU everyone who commented this week

about my beloved Cleo and my continued grief and love for her.

Each one of your comments really encouraged and blessed me!

I had a good phone call with a dear friend today who understood

that feeling the sadness for Cleo's death is uncomfortable 

and not "Fun" but that the only

way to get past it is to go through it.

And I know she is right.

I miss Cleo. I am sad that she is not with us.  And for many reasons particular to my

life with Mr Husband in our current home in NJ, we can't get another cat

anytime soon, maybe not ever in this home. 

So this is a real journey for me.

***

I am pretty sure the grief about Cleo is mixed in with the feelings of 

despair and anxiety I have been feeling. 

And I know by writing about it and sharing in this way,

I will already feel a lot better.

***

Well.  I have a full week ahead!

I plan on enjoying lots of pots of tea,

allowing myself to watch some perry mason 

(it's somehow linked to losing Cleo)

and I hope bake and do lots of things and seeing some friends as well.

I decided I still need to keep count of the days since Cleo died,

I am not ready to stop counting in other words,

so I am just having the number (41) for today, for example, at the beginning

of my blog post title.  It stands for 41st day without Cleo.

***

No matter what is happening in our lives, 

may the hope and love 

and comfort that Christ can give be with us

and may Christ save us! 

40th Day: without Cleo

Pictures are from Christmas day 2017 when 

we missed Christmas liturgy because we were sick. 

I did not know that two years later, 

Cleo would have her last Christmas with us

(Jan 2019). 

Cleo, I miss you very much

and I love you. 

All of these pictures, she is by Mr Husband 

or on his chair.

She was always nearby to those who were sick.

She was nearby to me so many times

and she was such a sweet comforting cat. 

***

Cleo, I will always love you and will always miss you.

(39th day) without Cleo: the VNA rummage sale

We found many treasures!

One is a 4 cup (3 saucer) and 4 small plates set

and the necklace that is just perfect for the wedding I am DV

going to later this year! 

I am going to wear my new red hat (the one with the flower on it)

and this will go really well I think! 

It's late so I can't write more now but hope to share more treasures later on!

(The weekend is going to be super busy so may not blog until Monday!)

***

May God bless and have mercy on us all!

(Day 38) without Cleo: a day at home

It was really nice to be home today!

I enjoyed pots of tea, a small ice cream cone,

had a phone meeting, made lunch, folded tons of laundry

(Mr Husband helped with dishes tonight!)

did laundry, talked with my Mom, helped solve

a plumbing issue (I did not have to do too much), had a lovely bath,

ate a little bit of chocolate, 

enjoyed things.

I also did a practice run of my new make up.

I think I did pretty well but well...

I am thinking the things I did not get 

(a hydrating lotion, liquid concealer)

and I bought a "setting spray" that was to help makeup last longer.

(New to me but most of this is new to me, it's been over 20 years since

I knew much about makeup)...

well, long story short, the spray sprayed more than expected

(I had to pat my face dry with a cotton round) and my face got

itchy/dry feeling within minutes.

So much so that I took it ALL off within 5 minutes.

So not good.  I am pretty sure I will be returning the spray.

But I am going to do another trial run DV on Saturday.

I KNOW it can be better, as my makeup done in the store

(much of which I bought, since I needed replacements) felt great

and not one bit dry/itchy. 

So, trivia on this sort of thing:

how many knew that stores with only make up do makeovers for those

going to an event? (outside of a wedding).  I totally did not know that.

I pretty much avoid most popular cultures and don't visit malls much.

However, it's fun to have new makeup, I admit....:)

I am excited to have the make up (which will last me some 

many years DV) for the wedding I am going to.

I am pretty sure I will be heading back to the store on Tuesday.

***

Well, that's it on my end.

What's it like on your end today?

***

I pray that Christ saves us and has mercy!

(Day 37) without Cleo: part 2 ~ eye health, dinner and beauty

I do love breakfasts! And jams, and natural (nothing but perhaps salt added)

peanut butter and nice hot cup of tea!

This (above) was really poignant.  Still thinking on it.

Changed my table cloth!!! 

My writing desk :)  I really do love it!!!

 I got beautiful 1 ounce glass tubes with roller balls to use to make

essential oil rollers... I am excited about that!

Went to my eye doctor... getting these glasses...nearly identical to the ones I have now,

same colour slightly different shape!  We have really good vision insurance, which is a 

HUGE blessing... so that's the good news... the not so good news... 

That is a picture of my eye, I think the right eye. 

The big white part is fine but in the middle of the picture is some white parts

and that is NOT good.  It shows some degeneration within my retina. 

We looked at scans from 3 years ago verses ones taken today and the changes

in both retina and a bit in the periphery both show that my eyes are getting worse.

While this is really not new information, it was still hard to hear and see.

And I need a stronger prescription again and that means that my eyes 

are even MORE myopic which means more myopic degeneration is possible.

A simple explanation is that as the eye becomes more myopic, it is stretched thin

and if it becomes too thin, it begins breaking down, and that is what we don't want,

as it can lead, eventually, if it continues, to severe vision loss.

So I continue to walk this journey...

***

I was feeling a bit "hard hit" by this and my sweet Husband had already 

planned on us eating out today and we did so and I had a really nice salad

and he had mussels and that was really nice.

And things I enjoy I am still looking forward to,

like breakfast tomorrow.  

I just love breakfast and that first pot of tea.

***

And so it goes, beauty, worries and caring for each other.

I know, no matter what, that I have a lot to be thankful for.

***

Lord have mercy on us all!

(Day 37) without Cleo: a reflection

I remember when my +Aunt Karen died, 

I had a very special event I went to a few weeks afterwards.

My Mom and my cousin A went with me to Yonkers

(right before they closed :( ) and we found a really nice 

dress and jacket, a long strand of pearls that I wear often

strung three times around my neck 

(it then is just under my neckline).

And I started getting pretty hats, the first one being my black one.

(I now have a black, white and maroon one of the same style

and a newer smaller (in width) hat that is a maroon/burgundy but 

a different style). 

I wanted to be "perfect" in my outfit and did indeed have a lot of fun

with it and later got a aqua-green dress that goes with the pink jacket

that I wore when my goddaughter came to visit 

and it was such a special time... 

***

Yesterday I used my beloved +Aunt Karen's cream leather purse

when I went shopping.  I was given the purse last Christmas

but did not have room in my luggage then, so I have just had it 

with me in NJ for a week or so. 

It was really nice to use.

I wear her ring a lot as well.

***

There was a lady in Ottawa, of an older more refined generation,

she always looked impeccable and wore the best (and not ostentatious) hats.

I have always admired these ladies.

***

I am not an impeccable dresser and instead of hats (most days) I wear bananas

of various colours slung comfortably over my hair.

It's rare that I iron clothes and I wear nice cotton plain coloured

"tee-shirts" from ll bean that I try to get on sale

and wear with a skirt...and my pretty Birkenstock sandals... 

Most days I don't wear makeup and in general don't 

feel self-conscious about that.

***

I am becoming more aware of the link I have,

in my current life, with grief and beauty.

And with special events after grief.

I am going to a special wedding in about a month

(will tell you all about it after the fact!) and I will wear

my silver ball gown, DV, that I got at an upscale consignment shop,

my new hat and my new makeup. 

I have a small black purse as well to go with...

***

I think also I am trying to be in touch with some of the happy

times in my life; when I was working in Ottawa, dressing up and 

wearing make up or when I got married and my friend S and I went

makeup shopping and she did my make up for my wedding

and we had some fun doing practice runs and she was so kind,

she gave me a manicure and pedicure! 

And we had such amazing talks and times...

She held my train up when I was going up stairs for the wedding and 

it was such a special joyous time...

***

I am not sure what it means that Cleo is gone;

I still expect to see her at times or think I see her;

I miss her comforting presence; I miss holding her

like a baby and feeling her soft thick furry fur.

I miss her complaining and our conversations,

as it were, and having her met us at the door...

I don't cry every day about her loss now,

but I still have days where I really want to watch Perry Mason

and I still want chocolate or ice cream a bit more than before.

And I find happiness in preparing for my friend's wedding

and doing everything to look "my best" (in this world's standards,

other than the fact that I don't go for immodesty in dress! and my makeup is

"natural and delicate" to quote a kind friend) for

this wedding... esp as it is a more dressy event

and the only wedding I have been with a dress code,

I am looking forward to it

but at the same time am aware of the link to my grief about

Cleo as the wedding invite came after I was missing Cleo

and still in the first 2 weeks of grieving. 

***

So I am aware of this link and see it.

I guess I am just riding this wave and will, DV,

enjoy dressing up for the wedding and "playing" with the makeup.

***

The few times a month I go to my NYC library for work days

(as in working on my essays) I wear nice business-casual clothes

and makeup; it's like a nice day out. 

And I get work done (and lots of walking in!

Though yesterday was exceptional for this, I walked about 10K steps!)

***

I am really glad for my NYC library as it gives me a place to go,

a community to belong to (church is still first obviously) and

a place to work.

***

I know it is really helping me with the loss of Cleo too.

***

Well, that's what I can see for now;

loss is always different but has threads that are the same,

I find.  I am thankful for it all. 

(Day 36) without Cleo ~ Church, wonderful meals and some fun

I was so glad to begin the day by going to liturgy

for the Feast of the Protection of the Mother of God...

After the liturgy was done, one of my friends, L., who came

to our home for Thanksgiving last year,

asked how I was doing about Cleo's death and I don't

remember exactly what I said, other than that I still missed her...

she understood... she lived alone for a long time now and

cats become almost like "children" to us as she said.

It's hard to explain to one (if explain one needs) that if

one lived alone, esp. for some years, one's pet really becomes family

in a special way... no one else is there to greet when one comes home

and when Cleo was well, she would be waiting for me by the door....

I appreciated that my dear friend L understands... 

I had a very nice breakfast at a local place

and then took light rail and went to the mall, something long time

readers will know I do not do that regularly 

(I usually go in December for some things, which I hope to do again this year).

 Well, then I went and bought make up for the first time since preparing for my wedding

over 7 years ago!  A woman did my make up at the store (minimum purchase required,

it was an hour long session) and was so nice as she wrote long-hand each step

for how to do the make up as I won't be having her do it the day of

(apparently people do that, go to the store for a make-over the day of an event,

news to me, I am not much in that sort of world!)

One woman was there because it was her 40th birthday that day....

***

I did not buy everything that the lady used on me, 

somethings I bypassed all together because I had something 

comparable and other things we switched to either a different brand

or size to keep the cost down. 

After that adventure, I went home, changed, put everything in my new

make up bag (from a pharmacy where such things are more affordable,

including make-up brushes!) and then went out again

to dinner with one of my church friends and then we went to 

church class...it was really nice to catch up with her and hear how things are going!

***

I must admit I think I am going to have fun "playing make up" as it were...

the lady who did my make up said I better practice putting it on 

(most of it I am used to but it more the technique I am learning) before the wedding...

which I think is good advice and will give me a chance to "play" ...

it's nice to have something that is more on the 'fun' side of things...

I am not going to do anything on this, though, until I get the makeup brush cleaner

I ordered as I want to have clean brushes (the ones that are not new) before

I begin this "practice playing" run :)

***

Years ago I remember my beautiful Pascha skirt was great for

"swishing" and this past summer I found a skirt that was also

a great one for that and my niece N. and I had fun "swishing" the skirt

we were wearing... this reminds me of the fun of one of the eye things 

I got as it is very sparkly and I like sparkles. 

Sometimes it's the "little" or even "frivolous" "girl" things that are fun for a time.

***

Well, we are still praying for various ones in deep struggles.

May God have mercy on us and save us!