Monday, December 10, 2012

Joining in...

For a few years
I've enjoyed the December reflections on the year
that I have read at RW's blog...
The prompts are from here.
I am in ways a pretty cautious blogger
in other ways not...
but here it goes...
Am starting on what is Day 10.
 What was the greatest risk you took in 2012?
What was the outcome?
what felt like one of the biggest risks of 2011
continued in 2012
and that was being vulnerable to another human being
and marrying the man I fell in love with
after 1000s of emails and phone calls and meetings
I knew within days and within months.
Shoot, I talked to my spiritual father about marrying him
in a year's time
when we started dating.
(we did just that by the way)
I was so in love.
But it is more than being in love
as I read enough books
to know that one surely must not do this based on
a fleeting feeling;
besides I and Mr. Husband are not fully that type;
more the dig deep, seek truth, weigh it and go with it
though in another way
it happened so fast that one could say
it was done winging it
but only with the prayers of many and visits to monasteries
and prayers and talks...
The biggest risk of 2012 began just over a year ago
when I told Mr. Husband that I would move
to New Jersey.
We knew Ottawa was out of the question
and after thought, prayer, and talking with some
close friends,
I told Mr. Husband before I went to NJ
the first time to see him
that I would come to him.
I am now living that risk.
Making a new life for myself
for us, together
and getting to know the area.
An additional risk to me personally
was leaving my church.
What is the outcome?
It is still ongoing and forthcoming.
Mr. Husband and I ordered swim caps yesterday
finally choose one and went for it.
I went to NYC
and was helped by St. Nicholas
I feel it warmly
in getting that outfit for Mr. Husband's
office Christmas party.
Sometimes I forget what I saw all at once
suddenly and yet over time
the beauty of coming here and
all that can be gained.
The hurricane
the shock of leaving Ottawa that I knew
well for 7 years and is and was in my bones
and then the sickness after
American Thanksgiving
weighed in at times
a bit heavy
and I know that there will always be
but right now I see again
in a rush
what I have been given
and remember that
it is good and
a risk well taken
with what is needed for such a risk
prayer, spiritual father's blessings, and the Saints.
So on one hand perhaps I took the risk
but on the other I pray it was God
leading me, going in front of me and
I feebly following
while being supported along the way.

1 comment:

RW said...

glad you are joining in.
I have found that the prompts are very helpful. sometimes I write it down sometimes I don't.