(127) New Years Eve

We got back just before Midnight last night

from being in Ohio visiting my Husband's family

(siblings + spouses + 16 nieces and nephews)

It was good, busy, tiring.

We took it easy today and went to vespers tonight and then

watched the Walton's and ate vegan yummy junk food. :)

***

I've done a lot of reflecting on life stages in the last years and 

even 10 years ago felt that a lot of life is a journey of forgiveness.

And acceptance of other people's limitations.

I am really deeply blessed to have great parents and grandparents.

But the only perfect person is Christ (and then His Mother if you look into it)

and each person on earth is made different, has a different set of

strengths and weaknesses + ways they are limited, to say it simply.

Myself included! 

***

I have had to accept my own limitations, as I know them, as well.

Like what I can and can't carry.

What I can do for others and what I can't.

How every person and every family is on their own journey

and you can love and support them but you can NOT walk their 

path for them or 'fix' the situation they find themselves in.

And sometimes all you can do is pray.

***

I have had situations where I can't help at all other than prayer.

Either I was drowning in my own situation or their own situation

was beyond my pay grade, as they say. 

***

I feel like this year had a lot of good for myself, personally.

Joining the subscription library, going to the AF writing conference, 

working on either a daily walk or daily (in summer) swim or walk,

I got my Christmas baking done, for the most part.

I read a lot of books.  We had the wonderful trip to Romania and Serbia. 

I have some new makeup, clothes and pretty hat. 

I had the eye tests and worries but am stable for now.

We did a lot of re-grouping from our 2 years of 

personal hard that got better nearly a year ago now. 

We will continue to work on re-grouping, I am sure, the rest of our lives, really.

***

I am hoping to finish some essays in the new year.

My Husband has a fairly big birthday this year and I am thinking about that.

I hope to keep active and build on this past year.

***

I am trying to figure out what and who I am as a writer;

I am drawn to cookbooks and food memoirs in a huge way.

I started my own food blog on this vein and have a litter of essays

half written... August with Cleo the Cutest Cat of all of Canada

declining and dying and then the trip planning and going and then

Thanksgiving, St Nicholas day (1 and 2), first Christmas and now gearing up for

second Christmas, I have not been able to get back to essay writing.

And I watched a lot of Perry Mason because of my loss of my Cleo Cat.

I still think I see her sometimes.  I miss her and love her.

***

I want to figure out how to nourish my spiritual life while thinking about

a new chocolate chip cookie recipe that I am creating.

I think this pretty much sums up that particular struggle of mine:

I dreamed of being an Orthodox Kathleen Norris

but my drive and desire is focused pretty deeply on hospitality, with

various dinners, lunches, teas and the like. 

For years I have thought about the fact that a lot of people are not ready for

a deep sea-change in their spiritual life and that all I can do,

since I can't feed them spiritually, is feed them physically and hope that 

the cup of hot soup will provide some amount of comfort, sustenance and even hope

for more in the future, even inward growth towards Christ. 

And I love feeding people. I love cooking and baking. I love the art of setting up

a table for something special. I love making everyday a celebration and the 

fasts and feasts are a big part of this. 

***

The day after my birthday went went to the Ohio Bookstore and DV these

books (plus more!) are being shipped to us next week... 

As you can see, cookbooks are one of my primary interests...

Seriously excited to read these and I hope to try more 

recipes in the new year.

Well, that new year 2020 is almost here!

***

No matter what life has brought you,

may Christ be your support, your refuge, your light 

for your life's path and struggles.

***

May God bless and help us all!