Saturday, May 21, 2016

A small bit about today

Half of a steak and ale pie,
fruit salad, green salad.
Today was a good, full day.
We went to a local friends place for a BBQ,
made a big fruit salad for it, with sour cream dressing.
(Recipe here).
After vespers, we had the meal you see above.
I have had a busy week and I just felt a deep joy
at being home.  
I need to find the poem that Jane Kenyon wrote
about how in the end, home is where one wants to be.
Yet we wander from it, and I vacillate between wanting and needing
to be out and engaging with people and places and 
again just wanting to be home, within these four walls,
with beauty, icons, books, blue and white pottery, 
and the couch here, that I am sitting on right now.
I was reading this morning and sitting in our white chair,
and looked up at our orchids that are not in flower.
And I realized again that they often do not flower at all or
once a year for a month, or maybe more if we are fortunate.
And I realized that perhaps some of my discontent,
other than merely being a temptation, was not correct because
we too can not be in flower all the time.
it is a constant effort to know how best to use my time.
I am working on so many projects and want to do even more.
It's hard to prioritize and triage them.
But at least right now, 
the quiet I needed is back, the home, the sense of peace.
Monday, I get to be home all day.
Tomorrow, DV, I get to teach my beloved Sunday School kids.
And it is good.


Becki said...

I appreciate how you share your thoughts, Elizabeth. In some ways I relate very much. I'm in a sort of retirement place (not from paid work, but from 20 years of homeschooling). I wrestle with how I spend my days, but I am so thankful for this period of time to experience a quieter time and place - even when it makes me uncomfortable - even when I feel lonely. Managing days and thinking about hopes and goals is so very different now, but it is still a challenge. Anyway... I've read through recent posts and I wanted to say I appreciate what you have to say and it is thought provoking to me.

elizabeth said...

Thanks Becki, I really appreciate your words here. I am glad my words have resonance with you. Yeah, it's really a challenge. Lord help us!

GretchenJoanna said...

I hope your day at home -- how often have I said that: "I get to be home all day!" -- was restful and peaceful, restorative. Our need for rest is something we have to accept as reality, and we can't compare ourselves with others or with our wished-for image of ourselves. We have to live one moment at a time with God.

I've been so thankful to have a restful few days, and am trying not to get anxious about busy periods coming in the future. Lord, have mercy!