Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Been Better

Hard night sleep.
I feel ill.
I feel like the ambiguity and endings in my life
are driving me crazy.
I have been reading a book by Margaret Drabble,
it's about 20 years old
The Gates of Ivory
and is about the holocaust in Cambodia.
How can North American Life seem so crushing
when there are people who lost
whole families?
All I can do is silently but loudly beg God to take me out of this
time of the unknown;
with door after door closing
but other doors
but maybe not closing
and merely causing confusion.
(Sorry to be vague; too much is unknown to me).
My spiritual father spoke this past Sunday
of St. Peter walking to Christ
in Christ.
He spoke of Jesus coming to His disciples in the
4th hour of the night
during a great storm and that
the 4th hour is the hour
when people think all is lost
storm at sea
no hope of rescue
and this is when Jesus comes
and says Peace be to you, Be Not Afraid.


margaret said...

Still praying *hug*

Mimi said...

And I agree, it's hard to stomach, isn't it?

E Helena E said...

You have been on my mind especially today. I pray also that you can be well and enjoy the time with your sister & brother-in-law.