Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained

I've been thinking for a long while about my 

dream of writing short essays, meaningful

nonfiction that can connect, comfort and give people the 

pause we all need, for thought and reflection.

***

Suddenly, an opportunity came to me, that

was unexpected but welcomed!

***

When I read and responded to this article,

of the thoughtful essayist who is searching

for his way and path of conversion,

one of the founders of the web-platform,
that this man wrote on,

asked if I would write for them.

So I said I would be honoured to,

and now, I am!

***

You can find me here, at Conciliar Post,

DV every 2 weeks. 

I also have created a new blog, dedicated to the essays

that I am writing for publication.  

You can see this blog, here!

***

A lot of my essays will be familiar to my dear

blog readers!  The first one I am writing, 

just published today,

is one that I first wrote on a year ago.

***
We write best when we write our own story; and so it is with this
understanding that I begin!
***

My first essay for Conciliar Post is on the topic of anxiety,

really a meditation on anxiety and what I learned about it over the years.

***

Perhaps I will write another essay on it someday,

it really all started in 1998, when one day I was in my dorm room,

and it is like I suddenly woke up, 

though I was standing at the time,

and I realized that my entire self was riddled through with worry.

***

It would be some years before I would even begin to untangle all the causes,

 reasons or even see that this anxiety could be fought and healed.

I am still in that process but I know now what it is a war to be waged,

it is something to be fought.
***
And so, my first writing is on this journey... 

***

My first essay begins...

"When I still lived in Ottawa, I went through a time when I was unemployed, spent my carefully tended savings to survive and then ran out of money completely.   For a few months I did not know how I was going to pay rent or buy food.  Scary.  Twice in my life I went through testing to see if I had cancer; each time, no cancer.  Everyday now it seems that apocalyptic fearful things happen; the news tells us only of some.  Anxiety has weighed me down deep in it’s ocean, submerging me under in its waves.  It was there I learned you need to fight and deal with fear and anxiety while you are in the midst of it.

When overwhelmed, I pray small quick prayers: when I am afraid, I trust in Thee; I repeat this prayer many times.  I can breathe again.  I do small prayers, cross myself, say the Jesus Prayer(Lord Jesus Christ have mercy on me), these all help.  I am learning to tune out a lot of news and worry. That you can choose to have a peaceful day or an anxious day. It's all where and what you focus on and put your energy towards….With Christ one can develop a well of interior peace, an inward fortress.  I am not there yet.  But Mother Gavrilia shows that the way towards this peace is to accept everything in my life, to live in my ‘today’ with God and trust that God’s will is unfolding, even if my life and well being are in peril.

I started learning this in Ottawa when I was unemployed;...". read the rest here (or here)!