How a conversation brought calm after a nightmare...

I went on a walk with a local friend on Monday...

was really nice...autumn leaves, discussing books...

Later on, after falling asleep, I found myself awake, troubled,

having a nightmare, 

I am sure I drank some Holy Water and then

I went online to read something comforting;

well, I did not find that 'something' but then I started remembering the 

conversation I had with my friend,

and how I acquired my first icon, with money from my 27th birthday...

the next thing I knew, I was writing a short essay... 

and was calmed, comforted and slept the rest of the night through...

this essay published today at Conciliar Post...

***

I told my friend that I did not know what to do with her icon, once I bought it. I would sit in one of the old IKEA chairs; chairs my professor had lent me for my studio apartment, and just stare at this icon of St. Xenia. I put this icon on the mantle of the small black gas fireplace in my small studio apartment. Once, I remember, I was holding this icon and looking deeply at it when I suddenly felt like I was falling into the icon; that somehow the layers of the icon opened and there I was, falling. I did not know it then, but that was prayer.

***

You can read the rest here at Conciliar Post and here on my 

blog for published writings. 

An essay with help for all Mothers, Aunts, Godmothers, Sisters, Wives, Friends...

I am writing a series on what I have learned in my spiritual journey;

which includes what I have now in the Eastern Orthodox Church. 

My first essay in this series is really about how many Christians

have found comfort and solace in their lives.

This is especially of note to use woman, as the Church

has provided a Mother who we can all go to when

no earthly help is found.

I hope you are all blessed by the example of Christ's Mother

and the prayers that can help us all - and our families. 

***

"I was at a friend’s birthday party awhile back and asked to see this friend’s icons. His icon of the Theotokos (the Mother of God) looked out so tenderly. The Mother of God is a deep Mother and I felt reassured of the protection for this friend"....

(read the rest here at Conciliar Post)

 

Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained

I've been thinking for a long while about my 

dream of writing short essays, meaningful

nonfiction that can connect, comfort and give people the 

pause we all need, for thought and reflection.

***

Suddenly, an opportunity came to me, that

was unexpected but welcomed!

***

When I read and responded to this article,

of the thoughtful essayist who is searching

for his way and path of conversion,

one of the founders of the web-platform,
that this man wrote on,

asked if I would write for them.

So I said I would be honoured to,

and now, I am!

***

You can find me here, at Conciliar Post,

DV every 2 weeks. 

I also have created a new blog, dedicated to the essays

that I am writing for publication.  

You can see this blog, here!

***

A lot of my essays will be familiar to my dear

blog readers!  The first one I am writing, 

just published today,

is one that I first wrote on a year ago.

***
We write best when we write our own story; and so it is with this
understanding that I begin!
***

My first essay for Conciliar Post is on the topic of anxiety,

really a meditation on anxiety and what I learned about it over the years.

***

Perhaps I will write another essay on it someday,

it really all started in 1998, when one day I was in my dorm room,

and it is like I suddenly woke up, 

though I was standing at the time,

and I realized that my entire self was riddled through with worry.

***

It would be some years before I would even begin to untangle all the causes,

 reasons or even see that this anxiety could be fought and healed.

I am still in that process but I know now what it is a war to be waged,

it is something to be fought.
***
And so, my first writing is on this journey... 

***

My first essay begins...

"When I still lived in Ottawa, I went through a time when I was unemployed, spent my carefully tended savings to survive and then ran out of money completely.   For a few months I did not know how I was going to pay rent or buy food.  Scary.  Twice in my life I went through testing to see if I had cancer; each time, no cancer.  Everyday now it seems that apocalyptic fearful things happen; the news tells us only of some.  Anxiety has weighed me down deep in it’s ocean, submerging me under in its waves.  It was there I learned you need to fight and deal with fear and anxiety while you are in the midst of it.

When overwhelmed, I pray small quick prayers: when I am afraid, I trust in Thee; I repeat this prayer many times.  I can breathe again.  I do small prayers, cross myself, say the Jesus Prayer(Lord Jesus Christ have mercy on me), these all help.  I am learning to tune out a lot of news and worry. That you can choose to have a peaceful day or an anxious day. It's all where and what you focus on and put your energy towards….With Christ one can develop a well of interior peace, an inward fortress.  I am not there yet.  But Mother Gavrilia shows that the way towards this peace is to accept everything in my life, to live in my ‘today’ with God and trust that God’s will is unfolding, even if my life and well being are in peril.

I started learning this in Ottawa when I was unemployed;...". read the rest here (or here)!