The why of writing, of life, of what is sought after

I have been thinking about what I read, listen to and watch.

More and more I see that what I want to write,

what I want to offer the world, 

is beauty, words of encouragement, both of which are

ultimately only of worth if they point to Christ, 

to the Church and to the hope we have...

I find that I am more and more aware, 

in these last years, that everything I look at,

I am searching and I am especially searching for help.

I am constantly looking for icons, for spiritual help, for that peace

that I lose so easily, for that guidance that I have a hard time hearing.

Beyond this, or rather, in this, I am looking for that reason.

That age old question, why am I alive? 

What is my specific purpose? 

And I am finding that I want to offer words that are

beautiful, pictures that speak of warmth, of sharing life, of 

substance, of that something more.

We are all looking for it.  

I hear people saying and even commercials saying:

it changed my life.

I don't think most people know what change they are even looking for.

I guess that is one thing that I understand a bit more,

though putting it into practice is another question.

The change that everyone really needs is to have more of Christ in them

and to be united with Christ.

As an Orthodox Christian I do not hesitate to say that two of the most

integeral ways of this is through the sacraments that are like twins,

one before the other:  Holy Confession and Holy Communion.

After this, and in this, is prayer. 

****

I wanted to write this down as I hope to get back to my writing again,

and reading.  I wanted to remember why I want to write,

what I want to offer and what I see as the deepest 

points of the change that all of us want

but most of us don't even know 

that it is offered to us, 

or even that it really 

exisits

and many of us don't know if we want it,

if we are willing to change our lives so that

our lives can be changed.

****

May the mercy of God be with us and 

save us!!! 

How a conversation brought calm after a nightmare...

I went on a walk with a local friend on Monday...

was really nice...autumn leaves, discussing books...

Later on, after falling asleep, I found myself awake, troubled,

having a nightmare, 

I am sure I drank some Holy Water and then

I went online to read something comforting;

well, I did not find that 'something' but then I started remembering the 

conversation I had with my friend,

and how I acquired my first icon, with money from my 27th birthday...

the next thing I knew, I was writing a short essay... 

and was calmed, comforted and slept the rest of the night through...

this essay published today at Conciliar Post...

***

I told my friend that I did not know what to do with her icon, once I bought it. I would sit in one of the old IKEA chairs; chairs my professor had lent me for my studio apartment, and just stare at this icon of St. Xenia. I put this icon on the mantle of the small black gas fireplace in my small studio apartment. Once, I remember, I was holding this icon and looking deeply at it when I suddenly felt like I was falling into the icon; that somehow the layers of the icon opened and there I was, falling. I did not know it then, but that was prayer.

***

You can read the rest here at Conciliar Post and here on my 

blog for published writings. 

From life to death and everything in between

Mr. Husband's Uncle, as his father wrote us early this morning, 

passed on into glory.

May God remember him in His Kingdom!

***

I feel like I understand the Orthodox prayer, memory eternal, in a very 

simple warm way now: it is like a Mother praying for her child, 

asking God to take care of the child and always remember this child in His care,

for the Mother one day will die and not be able to pray on earth anymore for this child,

but the prayer has already been made:

Lord, always take care, always remember, this child who I am committing to Your care. 

My first article went live, whew, that was a big deal for me! 

It's currently at '96' views and I am grateful for each one.

Thanks for everyone's support, love, well wishes and esp. to those who read

my article and commented!

What a blessing of a blog community I have! 

In other news, I went swimming this morning.

There was a family there, a tall strong dad,

a teenage brother who did dives very well,

two younger teen girls, and a small girl, maybe 5 years old,

with a smile so big, and she was very good at taking instructions and had

no fear of swimming.

It was lovely to see.

I painted. 

The blanket that Mat. Anna did for my newest godson came!!!

It's beautiful!

(My picture shows it uneven, but it is actually perfectly strait!

A real lovely work of art!)

I think I have everything for our godson now!

***

My Aunt's surgery went well, last I heard and we are all quite relieved. 

***

And so today had death, new life, continued life, normal summer life and 

new ventures all in one day!

Eventful, to say the least! 

I hope your day has been peaceful...