Oh...

I don't have the heart right now

to write a full blog post so this is what I just had to email

my beloved non-blog prayer people

(my blog prayer people are just as loved, obviously!)

Please pray for me and thank you for being my blog

friends through this.
*

Dear Friend and Family,

I am sad to say that I just got a call and the interview I was to have next week for the Ottawa job has been cancelled. The had two positions and now decided to only have one and so I am not having an interview after all. Of course I am really disappointed. I was so hoping maybe this one would be 'the one' after two years of not having full time work.

Please pray for me that I will know what to do next, as I will have to start trying to figure out what job wise what I can do. I have been looking for a professional library job for a good number of months and it just does not seem to be working out. I know I am a professional and have great work experience. Now I have to figure out what I can do from here. I hope to have some kind of work soon as I do not want to run out of money again (am okay at present thank God). And:

Thank God that Christ is Risen.

In Christ,

Elizabeth

Sunshine Thursday, Cool on Friday

Whew.

Blogger appears to be back and running!

Yay!!!

I imagine that there was a lot of stress for them

as blogger was down for a whole day,

which in social media these days is like a year.

We of little patience.

God save us.

Well,

after that unexpected day of seeing people

trained to help me get a job two years later,

I realized once again that I was caught off guard.

Really I have yet to learn to live as a Christian.

By which I mean that the more rooted a Christian is,

the less likely unexpected correlations and events

will throw them off.

I have much to learn but I am thankful that God's mercies

are new every morning.

Last evening I got news that I do have a second interview

in person sometime next week.

*

2 years, my friends, of interviewing.

Will this interview be my last for a while?

Really, even when I did have work,

I was still interviewing every year;

my first jobs were temporary contracts,

a year or less.

I have not counted how many interviews and applications I have done.

Applications certainly 100 or more.

Interviews... 20 at minimum in the last years...

Don't you just love this picture?

I do.

It is of my favourite walk to see my beloved

favourite tree

and actually one of my favourite houses.

I realized I must go back again to do some

actual photographs of the house.

Actually it is just the back of the house.

I just love it.

Ramshackled.

Eccentric.

Large Angel white statue with wings,

metal bird shapes in the back yard;

it reminds me of how I thought things would be for me

one day.

You know,

Family, house, eccentric book filled goodness,

not streamlined or at all corporate or minimalist.

No, just full of life,

a place where all would feel welcome.

Anyway.

That is what that house reminds me of.

*

Yesterday a good friend emailed their

assurances of prayer as I go towards another interview.

In the email was included that all my dreams

would be fulfilled.

I feel like I have had my hopes dashed so many times.

That I have lost so much,

so many dreams of what I thought my life would be.

By the end of June I will be half way to being 35.

(i.e. end of December I will be 35).

I never dreamed that the end of my twenties and early thirties

would be filled with uncertainty and continual job searching.

But I also never dreamed that I would be in

the Orthodox church and have a spiritual father.

So I have been given something very great...

*

Anyway.

It is hard not to get my hopes up about this new

interview. Even though I know that work itself

is not easy.

*

Meanwhile,

I will continue to seek to learn to pray with hope.

*

Christ is Risen.

Looking to the Heavens

I've read a lot of hard things today.

More Christians Killed in Egypt.

US trying to have national control of education.

and other things as well.

*

I have a friend who grew up in Romania and knows

of the horrible evil done against Christians there.

She and I both ask God that we will be spared,

for we are afraid.

*

Christ promises to have mercy.

To not abandon us.

But this does not mean that we will not have troubles;

Christ is clear on that too.

But to take heart for Christ has overcome

the world

He has defeated death by death.

*

I am hearing also from various good sources

that these 40 days of Brightness

are to be for our continued healing.

Let us seek to be open to God and receive

His life in us.

I pray for this...

we must not get distracted from our purpose;

to be with Christ;

to acquire the Holy Spirit;

to get to the point where we bear

the fruit of the Holy Spirit;

to love.

May God help us.

The Lord knows and sees every sparrow.

He creates every Spring,

every leaf unfurling in green.

*

Every step Christ understands of our lives,

even if we do not.

*

My phone interview is tomorrow late morning.

*

I ask your prayers.

*

And I thank God that with Christ is life, is hope.

Day by Day

It's been hard,

the days of just job searching.

But every day this week, even if it was unexpected the day of,

I have had something to do, someone to see or someone

to come over.

I and some friends are going to read

St. John of the Ladder's

ladder of divine ascent

this summer for which I am glad.

I am praying that the reading can be spiritually

profitable to all of us.

*

I am focusing on library job search activities this week

but am already trying to start thinking of

other places I can apply for work.

I need to be proactive and start knocking on many doors.

The time is now.

*

I have such a hard time balancing this part.

*

I was blessed with an unexpected happening

yesterday:

free tickets to the hear the

Winnipeg Symphony Orchestra

and the Violin Soloist is very accomplished

and was playing a "Marsick" Stradivarius of 1715!

Wow.

I never knew I would hear one played live.

The playing and the high notes

were very well done,

I had never heard it done so well before.

A close friend and I were able to go,

and it was really special.

*

Lesson of this week is God's mercy and provision

of unexpected blessing,

fully undeserved.

Monday after Bright Week

It is rainy today.

I find I have to redirect my thoughts continually

to thankfulness amidst my

job search that feels slow arduous and diffuse.

But when I think on this,

I think of how I read recently that God tests the soul

according to it's strength.

I must remember that I am one of the weak and

while my trials are hard for me

there are much harder ones.

*

Meanwhile I am needing lots of light for the grey days.

Candles lit, prayers, crossing oneself,

are ways to get through the day.

Now that Lent and Holy Week and Bright Week

are done, I have more time on my hands;

it can get a bit lonely.

I keep wanting to do more - find somewhere to volunteer,

figure out where a part-time job is,

but my days get full and are gone before I know it.

Today I voted (today is election day once again in Canada),

finished and submitted my taxes, did errands and

did a networking email and other job searching emails.

Cleo's been hanging out with me

as per usual.

My little furball of blessings.

I must keep my candles lit

as it seems that this

is at times

all I can do.

*

And keep striving to be thankful.

How I need thankfulness.

*

How are you spending your day? Any struggles, any ways you are

keeping light around you? How are you seeking to

remember the Lord's Pascha

which is to change our life completely?

Bright Friday

Some friends got together at my house.

*

Together we assembled an Italian meal

Pasta with meat sauce

Cesar Salad

Garlic Bread

and, as it was for a very festive meal,

Baked Brie with cranberries and walnuts

eaten with sliced baguette.

Music was played.

After the meal

a chocolate cake with vanilla ice cream was enjoyed.

*

I am grateful for friends to share the feasts with.

*

This week will include various job searching activities.

I feel overwhelmed by it to be honest.

Am seeking the Lord's help.

*

What does you week hold for you?

Anything beautiful? overwhelming? new?

Bright Thursday

Christ is Risen!

*

Above is my new Pascha icon of the Resurrection...

I made the icon as I did not have an icon of the

Resurrection that was not wallet sized...

It was blessed after Agape vespers

and was in the Altar area

on Pascha.

I am having a Pascha dinner party

tomorrow

on Bright Friday

the Feast of the Life Giving Springs.

*

It is going to be a fairly traditional Italian meal.

*

I look forward God willing to singing Christ is Risen

tomorrow at the dinner...

Cleo was watching outside again today;

it stormed and now is sunny;

typical Ottawa spring.

*

I have more job things to do.

Went to IKEA;

they are building a new IKEA here;

we are going from the smallest IKEA in Canada

to the largest.

*

I got some nice new tall taper candles

and restocked on tea lights.

*

Give us our daily bread

*

God has blessed me;

I am seeing again how I do not have to worry about the future;

keep looking for jobs;

the biggest challenge is to stay faithful and energized

in my search.

*

God will not leave us.

*

Christ is Risen!

Bright Tuesday

Christ is Risen!

Already it is Bright Tuesday!

Today I cleaned house

did laundry

dishes

baked a really yummy beef roast

with lots of olive oil, salt pepper and garlic

and ate it with a friend,

enjoying Pascha (the bread) and chocolate with

chai spice tea for dessert...

*

I am aware though that even in this season we have to stay

vigilant.

Life still has to be lived and spiritual growth

at least for me

is still needed...

we have to watch out sometimes almost more

during Feast times as

the hard times are more unexpected...

Cleo agrees though she wishes it were not so.

*

I have to get going on Ottawa job searching

and I am finding it hard to do.

The more one wants something the harder it is

I think.

Lord have mercy.

*

How are your post-Pascha days going?

Any foods you are enjoying?

Any struggles, joys?