Reflections on suffering and of sudden and unexpected loss

I love the glisten of the silver,

this is the traveling Holy Communion Vessel that 

my priest used to bring me Holy Communion this morning.

That was a real blessing.

I am more aware of Christ coming to me 

even though I am exhausted, distracted and unworthy.

***

Today was a big rest day,

from such a busy day yesterday; it was hard in ways

I won't write here but that thankfully do not have to do with my 

immediate circumstances or my closest relationships.

Just situational, I must remind myself and temporary.

***

I am not surprised that I am struggling more now than 

at the beginning; that's always the way it is for me.

***

I hope next week will be better in terms of my

inward balance; I've been slipping out of balance a lot this week.

We confirmed again with our next week (and hopefully help for the

rest of my convalescence) is still planning on Monday.

***

I ordered a bunch of DE Stevenson books and 

greatly look forward to those coming.

***

I was very saddened to hear of the devastating fire

that fellow Christian and lover of all good things 

(including England, Elizabeth Goudge, writing, beauty),

Lanier and her Husband Phillip just had of their

beautiful wonderful home.

***

We don't get to choose what suffering we undergo, 

in general, and the loss she is experiencing is very real.

***

If you don't read her, I would stop by and do so, 

she's a lovely writer.

***

One thing that I often feel is that when we feel like

we are finally getting somewhere, had some sort of 

breakthrough that we were wanting to have,

something often sets us back, even severely.

***

I am also thinking of what a dear friend used to write about.

(this is a different topic but one that I am seeing in some

who are not in my immediate circle) is that

'hurting people hurt people'...

and how hard it is to get over these sorts of things.

How hard it is to forgive when one is hurt.

***

My Husband, it breaks my heart. 

He's so very tired.

Please pray for him.

He is working so hard on so many things

and I just wish he would get better sleep.

I can't say enough of how difficult this past year+ has been.

Yet I know that many are in far more difficult situations;

yet I think of what my sister-friend would often say to me:

we must not compare difficulties and it is OK for each person to 

say from their own life, 'this, this is difficult' or 'this, this time,

is one of the hardest I have had to face'....

***

I only pray that my bones that are broken will

one day rejoice.

I pray for God's mercy and for salvation...