On books, thoughts and choices

My cousin H and I had such good talks this visit.

So refreshing....

I told her a bit about my read of 

Dodie Smith's book and the story behind it,

of when I was probably about the same age as 

Cassandra (she narrates towards the end about being about 14 or 15),

and I have been pondering this on and off for the last few days.

I hope to write more about it soon,

but the first thing is that I feel that I have gained an ability to understand

difference and went from a culture that was fairly uniform

and very cohesive, one that I am still thankful for today,

in a world that is quickly losing all sense of overall narrative as a society/world. 

One may need to know that my upbringing was very much

in one line of thinking and that I landed in a very difference place as an adult.

And because of this process, I am able to dialogue and engage in conversation with 

many who either have different 'takes' on Christianity and the Church or those who

are in a different state of belief/unbelief than where I find myself.

***

I think the hardest part to articulate about the change in who I am

and how I can relate to people is in that balance between 

what I believe about the Church, about Christianity and the world.

***

I think it was CS Lewis who,

when talking about the balance between

seeing the world as 'predestined' and of a world where humans have free will,

in that saying something to the effect of:

I chose but there was nothing outside of that choice.

I think it could be fair to say:

I chose and there is nothing outside of what I chose that I would choose more

and that I see/know/personally understand as that of 'most true' but that

I can love, dialogue with and see other's view and what is most valid and 

having veracity, in what others have chose. 

***

The other side of this is that if one is not able to dialogue with others

and respect and appreciate where they are coming from,

one will never see change in their self or in others.

One never knows how a loving openness to another could

transform that person or further transform oneself. 

***

What began this transformation has some levels of irony...

I discovered feminist thought when I was about 18 years old; 

later, when I was at Calvin, I was nearly militant in the feminism that

I was trying to understand and how I saw it as necessary.

It was during that time, and I admit I was a bit of a young bear, 

rude in my feminist beliefs that I was trying to incorporate and understand in my life,

and in addition to this, I did not yet know a lot about the world outside of what 

I knew to be true and was at times unruly in my struggle to understand new things;

I was, at the time, also afraid of new ideas and ideas I did not yet understand. 

This all began to change when I began listening to a Christian radio station at the time,

where a Protestant Preacher whose series on Grace as seen in St. Paul's book

to the Galatians that opened this wide open to me:
I was gentle challenged to be open to listening to new ideas,

dialoguing with those who are different than myself or who I don't understand.

It was the beginning of a very significant transformation within myself,

my understanding of the world, of Christ and what His Church has within itself. 

***

I have more thoughts on this, but they will wait for another time.

***

One a different note, 

today was a wonderful day with simple joys and a very nice 

fish dinner with my cousin, her son and Mr. Husband.

I am so thankful for this wonderful week to reconnect, talk and be with each other!