The next day of the rest of my life

I love Irises.

I my later summers (late teens, twenties) in May/June

I would see many Irises at my home.

This year marks my 32nd year.

This particular day is my Mother's Birth day.

I will call her later on today.

This day and week I was fearing though.

My class is over and nothing new has started in my life yet.

The yawning emptiness of the unknown frightens me.

But I have to go through it.

I know I am in this exact situation because I need to learn from it.

And I need to learn to not fear and to love.

I am praying that God will heal me by His love;

that the time of tearing down, if He wills, is over for a little while

that my life can be rebuilt

and that I will learn to participate in this rebuilding;

in God's salvation for my life

and for the world...

I am learning to take walks alone again

and be okay with being alone

but at the same time,

reaching out to people,

inviting them to my world, my life, my home.

Lilacs are one of my Mother's favourite flowers.

Like flowers slowly opening,

we need seasons to learn how to grow

to let the petals open and flower

without fear of future disintegration or

of wind, rain or hail

that may bruise the open petals.

We need to continue to open our hearts to God's love

and give Him our fear so that He can give us His healing.