Monday, June 22, 2009

The next day of the rest of my life

I love Irises.

I my later summers (late teens, twenties) in May/June

I would see many Irises at my home.

This year marks my 32nd year.

This particular day is my Mother's Birth day.

I will call her later on today.

This day and week I was fearing though.

My class is over and nothing new has started in my life yet.

The yawning emptiness of the unknown frightens me.

But I have to go through it.

I know I am in this exact situation because I need to learn from it.

And I need to learn to not fear and to love.

I am praying that God will heal me by His love;

that the time of tearing down, if He wills, is over for a little while

that my life can be rebuilt

and that I will learn to participate in this rebuilding;

in God's salvation for my life

and for the world...

I am learning to take walks alone again

and be okay with being alone

but at the same time,

reaching out to people,

inviting them to my world, my life, my home.

Lilacs are one of my Mother's favourite flowers.
Like flowers slowly opening,
we need seasons to learn how to grow
to let the petals open and flower
without fear of future disintegration or
of wind, rain or hail
that may bruise the open petals.
We need to continue to open our hearts to God's love
and give Him our fear so that He can give us His healing.


Michael Hermann said...

Irises. My favorite to. I went for a walk tonight and found some yellow irises with there feet in the water of a small pond. Blue flag irises are a favorite to see while canoeing.

God is there in the emptiness Elizabeth. I know it is hard. Your in my prayers.

What beautiful pictures. The quiet, the emptiness, the space is a period prior to the birthing of something new in your life. It will be, I suspect a time of growing faith. It is hard. Watch and pray.

In Christ,


elizabeth said...

Thank you M.

Yes. God is in this. I pray that I will participate with God in this birth.

That seems to be what we are called to do - work out our salvation while God works in us.

Irises are a deep gift from God.

RW said...

Hang in there Elizabeth.

elizabeth said...

Thanks RW - I am seeking to.

Mimi said...

Happy Birthday to your mom, dear Elizabeth.

And, I love this post, just because I know what you are feeling. Hugs and love,

Asheya said...

Thank you for sharing what you are going through. Hugs.

elizabeth said...

thanks so much Mimi and Asheya. My love in return. :)

E Helena E said...

Thank you for this post, Elizabeth.
You can express things beautifully and always turned to God.
Feel that in a small way that I am also in that place.
I hope your mother had a lovely birthday.

elizabeth said...

Thank you E-H. I love your comment; as it can mean I am with you in that place and I also feel that I am in that place. Beautiful. Thank you also for loving my writing. This means a lot to me.