I am very slowly reading
So far all I can say about this book is that it is not for the
faint of heart,
is very instructive and accessible
and that if you are an Orthodox Christian
I would strongly recommend consulting your priest or spiritual father
for discernment for how to apply it.
Meanwhile, I am hoping to listen soon to her podcast on distractions in prayer
as I have much to learn.
In her book she speaks of growing in the Jesus Prayer
and that one eventually can be given the space
to begin seeing and examining one's thoughts
to see if they are actually good or true thoughts.
I have been thinking about thinking and thoughts
since reading the beginning pages of this book;
how often are we more interested
in our own thoughts
than in concentrating in prayer;
how silly my own thoughts can be
when I actually look at them just a tiny bit.
How quick wrong thoughts are and how embedded;
as easy as a quick stab of jealousy over a picture of some one's house
with a well ordered beautiful icon corner
while forgetting that one's own corner
is a gift from God
and is also beautiful.
Not to mention forgetting that things like Icon Corners
develop over time;
my first Icons were almost all printed paper copies;
I was a student and did not have money
to spend on much...
God is so merciful to give us authors like
Kh. Fredrica who help make sense of these things.
God has been merciful also to me this week!
Even though I did fail my first French test
I took another one on reading
as I was given the option to do so.
While on this French test also
I did not get the level needed,
I was really close to it
and did quite well.
I was so happy!
By God's mercy I was able to have a better strategy for taking
the timed online test
and was more peaceful, since there was no pressure as
I had already failed the first test
which put me out of the running for the job
that I was doing the test for.
So while I will be job searching full time now
(i.e. instead of studying French full time)
I am still going to seek to keep up practicing my French.
I will need God's mercy to do so...