Monday, June 09, 2008
The Accident and the Icon that was with me
This is the small plastic icon of St. George that I had with me when I had the accident. I had called a friend as soon as I was carried to the sidewalk; 9 minutes later I was in the ambulance, on a stretcher. One hand was holding the leg of my injured foot, the other was holding this icon. In shock, I kept looking at St. George, confused and needing help.
It is really odd recovering from this. The first day and a half afterwards, I could only read a page or so at a time; I could not focus properly. Standing up hurt (not standing on foot, just being upright). My big toe is fractured and is just beginning to hurt now, three days later. I have been keeping my foot in ice most of the time, to keep my foot numb. Ice is the only thing that will cut the pain. The pain itself was not what I expected - it felt hot and throbbed.
I have been aware of, mostly, only myself and my injured foot. I have needed discipline to think of others who are also sick.
Another surprising thing is how sudden everything changed. I cannot stand to pray, wash dishes, or brush my hair. It hurts to walk (i.e. hobble with one crutch) ten steps to my kitchen. Everything takes more effort, my body shakes still.
In other words, from the writing perspective, it has fascinated me. The fear of falling on crutches, not being able to pick up my cat, struggling to sit up...
I cannot walk to church - could not even go to church. I cannot get my mail. The flowers I promised I would water while my friend was away, I had to ask a trustworthy friend to water. The clothes shopping, going to evening church services, everything has stopped.
But yet I already see that this is good for me. To be forced to be in one place. To be emotionally in control and aware. My thankfulness is abundant. Even thinking about what it would of meant if BOTH of my feet were run over! At least I have one good foot I can stand on.
I do not yet know how this will all work out. I am supposed to be trained in another city next week. I do not even know if I will be strong enough.
Many people are praying for me. I have talked to friends I have not talked to in nearly a year. I have had to accept small indignities. I talked with my Godmother - she reminded me that we are body and soul and that this trauma would also effect my spirit.
I am praying that this unforeseen affliction will be to my benefit, as Psalms speak of.
Please pray for me.