Spring

I was rather astonished to realize Spring has sprung....

I took a few block walk to mail 2 letters and saw that the trees were in flower. Today was the first day that I had a walk by myself. And only one short nap. Recovery from months of illness is a bit of a prolonged endeavour.

When I was still very sick I prayed that God would help me return. Even though each time I prayed the world seemed ugly, glaring white lights, terrible city landscapes of tall buildings with square lights bright but lifeless.  

Now I need to continue to return by becoming stronger physically and able to resume my life.

I discovered a DE Stevenson book 📖 that I had not re-read that was quite pleasurable to read.

Fun to see how Stevenson toes this tale with her novel The House of the Deer.

She's such a wise writer. 

Well I must be patient but also persistent it seems in this healing process. 

May God have mercy on us 🙏. 

The Taste of Freedom

I am finally off prednisone FOREVER. To celebrate I had 2 small pots of caffeinated tea over breakfast!

Taste of freedom. 

When I think of so many in the world struggling with war, poverty and such struggles ... having tea at breakfast in peace, in my own home, with my Husband, it really is what so many wish for.... it really is part of freedom....

I am so grateful but yet my thanksgiving is not as deep as others who have gone through much worse....

how it is right now

It's still strange to be back as it were... I have been well for about a week. 

When I looked at the calendar and realized that it has only been a little time... it rather is surprising. 

And makes my feelings more understandable. 

Feelings of shock, of shyness, of reticence. 

It's a lot. 

And in ways I am still rediscovering things.  Not that I have forgotten something but since I don't read the news .... sometimes I don't realize what is over and what is ongoing. 

I almost done with the steroids that I was put on. My doctor thinks my memory issues are from this. Also, horrifyingly, the very sleep med I was desperate to have may have done it or contributed. 

It was scary for me and so confusing. I came out of the amnesia in stages and sometimes I would "wake up" not knowing who I was or why I was washing my candlestick. Once I "woke up" not knowing anything and was on a walk with my Husband on a cold grey day with cutting wind and felt that the world was dystopian, ugly and I was horrified. It was such a painful process. 

It really helped that my Mom came. She was such a source of comfort. She kept telling me that I would get better, that many people were praying for me. As I improved would also tell me this. That I was getting better. 

Once, when I was getting much better but walking up from a nap I may not have realized that I had lost my memory. One of these times I woke, realized my Mom was here, that I had lost my memory, I burst into tears. I had thought it was a dream. That it had not happened. 

I think my biggest struggle since I have been better (as in no having memory loss issues) is shock. I just can't believe that it happened. Yet it did. 

Physically I am quite weak.  I feel shaky still and well low-grade rotten feeling pretty much all the time. 

It's going to take a while for a full recovery. 

Thanks for your prayers comments and emails. 

back from very unexpected adventures

Well, I'm back... so says Sam in The Lord of the Rings.

I ended up being quite unwell for a while. I still can't quite believe it myself but for a while I basically lost my memory.  Returning with my memory intact took a while. My Mom came to help out  for 2 weeks and returned last night. I am pretty much better now. 

I remember everything except the earliest days after my memory was lost.  It was a really difficult period. As you can imagine. 

I still feel pretty fragile about it; such a shock to have happen.

I still have a hard time fully believing it even though I lived through it. It's like I have to still integrate myself. 

Well, never thought something like this would happen to me! My Husband was so distraught. He still says things like "it's so nice to have you back" ... it took a while, my Mother was very encouraging. 

It's been a difficult time but hopefully I will regain my physical strength as well. I am not going to NYC (etc) until I am stronger. 

Not sure what else to say! I miss my Mom's presence with us and am really glad for my loving Husband ❤️....

considering what we know

God is truly carrying 🙏 us through this unexpected journey!!

Today NYC I had excellent care (normal doctor + cab drivers + just enjoying NYC!)

I am *finally* sleeping consistently 😴 because of doctor approved (fairly strong) sleep med. It's the only one that actually worked for me!

Cutie 💓 pie 🐕 little NYC dog with great style 👌 😎 💖💝💘💃

🙃🫠

Next up...

Thanks 💕 😊 be to God...I found a CVS that had these lotion/hand soap 🧼 travel dispensers.  My thumb actually split open on top (my doctor when I showed her was rather shocked by how dry my hands were and immediately promised Us-based HSA medical necessity letter for buying needed Aveeno lotion and handsoap). 👍👌🫠

I am happy cozy at home 🏡 ☺️ after being in NYC. MY eyes still don't have normal night vision yet so got home just before totally dark! ☺️👍

Snack at a diner in NYC

I have a cute little travel sized blanket (easy to throw in the wash after use too!) that I used today again!

I still get a little manic especially as the day wears on but I am much better than I was! Husband, doctor and others all agree!

I can't yet easily respond to blog comments (etc) but I am reading and encouraged by each one! ☺️💗

I am beyond relieved to be getting consistent sleep 😴 💤 

Now I am stabilizing in both body and mind. 

Thanks God 💕 and thank you for your prayers 🙏❤️

life changing days

Today is my spiritual father and Matushka last Sunday before they move out of State  🙏 

10 years we have had their protection and ministry blessing us.

DV I will be there... my Husband has duties at our other church.... it will be a bittersweet day...

I have been grieving but also hoping 🙏 in God for what/who is next 🙏 

I finally am sleeping at night thx to a sleep med. 

I think I had a question about bone density loss/health.

Every person is different. Some are going to need a good endocrinologist and Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT). Taking a calcium citrate and Vit D is a MUST. Figure out calcium rich foods. And *move your body* take a daily walk. I have regained significantly by consistent walking. If you do strength training be careful perhaps consult a professional so you don't injure yourself.  Key is to not give up about it.... be proactive!

Ok. Please pray for us 🙏 

May God guide us save us and have mercy 🙏❤️

still here

Wow has it been hard. 

I just got approved for the one sleep med that helps to be taken nightly. This past night I only got 1.5 hours sleep. If my insomnia decreases I can actually stabilize mentally and physically. 

Asking prayers for just that. 

It's been very hard on my Husband and myself. 

I will be back here as I am able 💙🙏💙🕯💙

I went to NYC Tuesday. I went to church this morning. The baptism weekend was wonderful. 💙🕯💙🙏🩵🕯🩵

God is BLESSING us

Click photos to blow up and read 💛

💛🌻💛🐝💛🌻💛

I got about 4 hours sleep tonight so far. So glad that God helped me figure out that I was in prednisone withdraw.

My dermatologist is really responsive and respectful of how I am seeing things and about how I am physically feeling. This is a huge deal because lots of medical professionals unfortunately are not that way (yet any way).  I will be following up with my GP and endocrinologist because being on steroids is actually a serious matter and can result in bone density loss. I had that happen in 2010. I got that bone density back. With God's help and will I will get it back again. I am a bit of a special case because I got bone issue so young. Again I got it back. 👍 This is a total life overhaul. I am changing my life, my diet and going to have to walk more and do strength training. 

My Husband needs your prayers. He's got a lot going on with a suddenly sick slightly manic wife. He also has a truly difficult unexpected unbloggable challenge that just hit the fan late last week. Please pray for him. 

God is BLESSING us. 

Pray for my new goddaughter. She + Husband and 4 year old daughter received tomorrow 1 PM local church. 

The Lord have mercy on us and save us 🙏 

🙏💛🌻💛🕯💛🐝💛🙏

The Fog of JOY

This was Christmas Eve. 

I had just come down with Sweets Syndrome again (first had in 2010).

I am managing it well considering. 

Last weekend I was on 100mg of steroids. 

Made me really physically unwell. 

Today I am down to 60.

I am learning to adapt pivot and see how blessed I am. And while on steroids. 

Christmas Tree Spode Teapot from Poshmark 🫖 ✔️

Christmas Tree Spode plates in melamine for dishwasherable ease because ill -- gotten at 50% off after Christmas sales ✔️

Paper Napkins ✔️

Dishwasherable silverware ✔️

Easy meal prep ✔️

Amazing desserts ✔️

Did I sleep at all last night? No. Sugar and prednisone. 

Will I sleep tonight. Should. Can take my every other night sleep med.

Am I resting today? Yes.

Do I need your prayers? 

YES PLEASE. 

10th Day of Christmas I went to NYC

I had my yearly Tea and Sympathy date with my friend who is one of the few who went to my wedding 10 years ago in Ottawa and who I can see in person in my daily life.  And as she listened to me talk about being sick so suddenly and having to learn how to best deal with it, I truly had Tea and Sympathy ❤️

I explained earlier about my situation as it is right now as of last night before I fell asleep:

it is now 1:35 AM. I woke up overheated and itchy again. 

I promised my Husband that I would rest in the middle of the night if I woke up again. 

Last night I got up, reorganized our "junk drawer", the space under the kitchen sink and reorganized my gift bag / tissue paper / ribbons / Christmas bows box. 

🤣🙃😳😉🤔😂

You have no idea how good it feels under the stress of steroids to have things organized. Everything is amplified and my ability to deal with clutter and mess is amplified too. 

Insomnia and steroids. 

Now I have to learn to just be still if I wake up again.  LOL 🙃🤣

I was given a generous gift 🎁 card and bought some beautiful gifts 🎁 😍 🎄 that I can't wait to show you! 

I was really tired after being in NYC so everything is still in bags. 

So God helped me unexpectedly, yesterday, too. I am immune compromised because of being on high doses of steroids so I am being EXTRA careful about masking in public spaces especially in  NYC and public transit. If I got sick with cold or flu on top of my current illness it would be so hard on myself and Husband. So when I wear a mask I also use a headband with buttons as I find the mask too tight on my ears.  Somehow I lost the headband and was not going to be able to mask properly.  I took EVERYTHING out of my purse looking for it. Searched my pink cart, took everything out. Looked through all my bags. Looked where we were sitting before we got a table. It was GONE. So off we went (I even went asking at the place we got "chicken chunks' and asked if they had seen it. No dice).  So we went to the English Grocer (no big surprise I restocked up on 2 favourite teas) 🤣🫖🙃☕️🫖🤩 ... I went to grab my mask for the cab (the store we were in was basically empty). I pulled out my mask from my purse (that I had completed emptied with my friend watching) and there was my mask headband as if I had never lost it. I knew God and St Phanourios 🙏 had helped once again 🙏 when I really needed the help.

So I am seeing how God is with me helping me in this unexpected situation. 

So: prayer request: itching & insomnia but also wisdom about how to medically handle this situation. 

I am seeing so many blessings in my life through this. I hope to be better again of course. 

But I can tell that God is blessing me in this.

Well. Time to see if I can sleep again! 

I had such a great time in NYC.  God is so good to me 🙏❤️🙏

9th Day of Christmas 🎄

We had a really special Christmas lunch 🎄❤️🎄🍽🎄🫖🎄❤️🎄❤️

I was happy and full of joy.... even though I couldn't use my Christmas Tree Spode pottery because I am physically unwell.... I just loved the cute napkins and cookie plates! 

So I still having some break through itching and of course being on high doses of steroids is not easy....

I talk with my dermatologist tomorrow morning and am in regular contact with my GP. So that is really great. 

Well praying that I can sleep! God have mercy on us 🙏 ❤️🙏