Waiting in the midst of sunshine and flowers

No word on the second interview yet.

Going to a job-fair like event tomorrow.

Waiting and uncertainty is tiring

but I am seeking to seek God.

Reading St. John of the Ladder's book

the ladder of divine ascent

for the first time,

for a book club of various church friends

who are reading it with me.

*

It is serious reading but is reading that can give life.

*

Speaking of life,

we had a prayer service at my church for the March for Life

that is being held tomorrow.

For those who may not know,

I live in Ottawa that is the capital of Canada;

so the March of Life will be through the streets

of downtown,

to Parliament Hill,

which I can walk to myself in less than 30 minutes...

*

It is beautiful that we as Orthodox Christians can

pray for everyone involved,

including the unborn child.

I often think of the beauty of this time of year

and what a relief it is for everyone;

but I am also thinking about how it can be

deceiving.

In the sense that all can look beautiful sunlit blooming and bright

but without the light of Christ

we are walking in darkness.

The whole of creation praises God;

it is the highest invitation that we can join

in this praise.

Holy Thursday 2009

Tonight was the mystery of anointing with the seven Gospels.
Tomorrow is the 12 Matin Gospels in the evening.

I need to prepare forms, resume, portfolio and do research for my job interview.

I feel overwhelmed at the suddenness of it. I was not expecting an interview so soon.

I have so many decisions to make about my life and career and what to do. It is really hard. And there are not many who can really advise me on it.

Questions such as:

*do I take time off and learn French? This is a complicated one. I live in the capital of Canada which is bilingual. I am the sole wage earner in my one person plus cat house. Do I risk not taking a job for the summer and see how far I can get in learning French? I know maybe 20 words total of French. (No lie, I did not have it in school ever, as I grew up in the States.)

*do I go from contract from contract if I do not land a permanent job that is not the best fit for me? Ottawa is a contract city...

*do I change directions? I had missed my English Lit days. But an MA in English Lit will not get jobs. My MLIS degree will.

So many questions. I never knew I would be a professional who has to figure out how to strategically build her career.

Lord have mercy, I need His Wisdom so badly.

Wise words from one of my friends - we only have today.

I pray that I will learn to love God and watch for Him as the Bridegroom in each of my days.

Long Day

I did not sleep well last night. I am thankful that I got through this day. I saw three people I know when walking downtown - one from each of my last two jobs - and someone from my current life.

I originally hoped to go to a presanctified liturgy tonight. I knew when I kept waking up that it was not to be. Tonight has to be a quiet night.

A bit of house cleaning, dinner making and that is it. I am thankful for friends and for you, my blog reader friends.