Friday, June 18, 2021

Friday: How I love you


Well, thank God today was better! 
[I got a package in the mail, pictures are below!]
Granny Marigold, I REALLY deeply appreciate your 
concern that I am putting too much pressure on myself.
Yeah.  I am sensing that.
Today my word was 'recalibrating' and taking a breather...
admittedly I still did some work... 
So when I started College, back in the mid-90s, my RD 
actually had to tell me,
Elizabeth, you need to take a break.  You can't work all the time
I think I am still learning this. 
And I think it's been really hard, the pandemic,
trying to come to terms with the changes.
I have pretty much given myself probably a Master's worth of research, 
maybe more and perhaps I should just treat it like a PhD in terms of time.
As in it takes years.
I don't want it to take years and years but the research alone may take a year.
Maybe longer.  Maybe I will look back and laugh (gently) about this
because it took way longer.  Hard to say right now.
But yes, I need to figure out how to do this better.
My cold this week did not help.  
I think I am going through the process of loss of a friend
that I can't fully tell you about because it's not my story
but you all know, if you know me, that I love doing dinner parties.
Well.  This last friend is like the last of those who come here.
Other friends have either moved out of our city or State,
or they have young kids + a job and life just changes.
It does sound like we will see some friends visiting in July. 
For one meal only most likely,
but still....That will be nice.
I guess also I have been so sick and tired of being so different than 
everyone and this writing project to me is like having a career, I can,
if I want to, say I am working on XYZ.
Madeleine L'Engle, already in 1982 in her complex, interesting novel,
A Severed Wasp, had a character talk about if you were not
a successful professional in NYC you were no one. 
Now of course that is not true but the feeling, it's there but worse.
I've struggled in a place where pretty much every woman I know in NJ
is a working professional of some sort.
So there's that.
But there's also my huge dream.
Ever since I was just 19 I wanted to be a writer.
I became a librarian when I realized I needed to find a job
but now that I don't have to work, and tried many creative things,
I am back to my first dream.
And I do honestly love what I am researching.
It's like the prefect thing for me.
BUT I do need to slow down or re-balance somehow. 
And I really, in part because this is so new, struggle with some fears about it.
What I am trying to accomplish is, I think, unique, at least in it's combination.
But of course I need to do more research before saying that with more certainty :) 
Anyway, enough about that.
Let me show you what my Mom's sister, my Aunt P, mailed me from Canada!
She spent over 23$ mailing it, so generous of her!!! 
I don't know how God arranges things but so often I get an unexpected blessing
when I really could use it, as you could tell my my last blog post...

So beautiful! look at the doily!!!

My Aunt's card explained that my Oma (her Mom) made this
and the other crocheted things! Take a look!
(My Oma died at nearly 103 in 2011)...

I already have plans for BOTH of these table runners 
and am so pleased with them!

Pink cloth placemats! I am going to try 
them out tomorrow at my small
tea table!

Two neat tea towels! One from Jamaica and
 the other one is hand embroidered! 

And 12 napkin rings of two styles! 
They are just darling and I look forward to using them!
It was like God was reassuring me that I could have 
dinner parties again one day.
I've been really sad about so many leaving who I used to have over.
Well, speaking of tables and linens, tomorrow I hope to change my
table cloth out for Pentecost this Sunday 
(I know, we are so late this year!) and will put 
my Easter/Pascha decorations away...
I may be going to the MET museum in NYC in July!
Anyway, today was better and I think next week will be
good... my cold is dissipating more daily,
we have more church and I may go to NYC as well...
Meanwhile, I best get to sleep :)
God bless you each one 
and keep you in His care... 


Elizabethd said...

Elizabeth, what a lift that must have given you! Such a beautiful giftt parcel, with things that you will treasure and which bring memories back.
PS, I think GM is right, time to slow down a little!

Gretchen Joanna said...

Those are lovely things from your Oma!! You will surely enjoy using them.

Blessed Pentecost, Elizabeth! The Holy Spirit has descended!

Granny Marigold said...

You sound much more hopeful. I'm glad you are figuring out a way to get done what you want to do but in such a way that it is more manageable. The doilies that your Oma crocheted are exquisite. How sweet of your aunt to send them to you. Take care, GM