I had a great train ride out.
It was so wonderful to see my family;
it felt so normal;
it was hard to believe it had been a year
and three years since we all saw my Oma last time
(I have seen her since but not with my whole family).
I journaled in the Toronto Royal Bank Plaza
where I had a long lay over before taking a GO Train to Brampton.
I felt that I was on the cusp of a lot of newness in my life.
I felt that the familiar feeling and memories of going home
for Christmas,
and the fun times I had at home when I was on holiday from
my studies in my Undergraduate years,
which are now 8 years past,
were really gone but yet I could remember them like they
were yesterday.
It was like I was realizing in a new way
that I really was where I am now:
nearing 35 years old
parents nearing or over 60 years old
and about to see my Oma
who was getting more out of breath
at 102 years old.
*
It was so good to be back;
I thought I heard my Aunt's voice the minute I entered the 4 tall towered
apartment complex of Holland Christian Home
but no, it was just that I was hearing voices of
other older Dutch Canadians
and it sounded like home.
I love Ontario and the Dutch communities and pockets of
now older immigrants from Holland
many of who came after World War II,
like my Mother's family.
*
We visited with my Oma
and as my cousin and I were walking to her room,
we had such a nice talk and I felt so
very happy.
*
I showed my Oma lots of pictures on my computer
including pictures of me and my
new godson.
My other siblings showed her pictures as well
and I took pictures of them
showing the pictures.
My Oma did not want us to leave
but it was time for the nurses to get her ready for bed.
Earlier that day Oma had a really bad spell
where she was pale and really short of breath.
So we all said goodnight,
in Dutch, English and Romanian and kissed her goodnight.
*
We went back to my Aunt's apartment in the same
complex, a tower or two over
and my cousin's boy and she played songs for us
on the piano and guitar.
We talked and enjoyed being together,
remembering the past, talking about Oma,
eating a Dutch dessert and some Koek,
which is a Dutch spice bread.
*
Before we knew it 10 pm had come and I and others
went to bed,
my cousin and her boy had already left for home
an hour drive away
and I did my prayers and prepared for bed.
*
Then suddenly everything changed.
My Mom and her sister closest to her in age
(my Mom is the youngest of 8 children,
all living)
came into our room unexpectedly and
said that Oma had fallen,
she had gotten up out of bed after the nurses put her
in and she was on the ground for a little while before she was
found there, arms bleeding and
with what they thought was a broken hip.
*
I was in shock,
texted a friend, called another friend
and then did prayers, crying many tears as I know
that often when the elderly fall and break a hip
that they die soon after and
are usually never the same.
*
My Oma was already showing signs of really slowing down;
earlier that evening my Mom and others were talking
about when our Opa died and one of my Uncles
that my Oma was showing signs like
they were
in the sense of signs particular to her that were
not her usual self.
*
My family insisted that I not go to the hospital with my Oma
and that I should stay back and pray.
So I did, with tears.
They did not get back to the apartment until 4:30 AM
and Oma had 4 shots of morphine by that time
and was finally not in as much pain.
My Oma is of solid Dutch stock and very stoic.
Seeing her being wheeled out to the ambulance in
a state of deep physical pain
was very difficult.
*
My Dad took me to the train station today.
I was so brokenhearted to leave my Oma
and family.
But my Dad and others have to come home today
due to work obligations.
And I fly home on Saturday around noon DV
and have to come back.
Please pray for us
and for my Oma -
her name in English is Grace.
